Beginning
by UniqueImposter
Summary: Without Sasuke and again left with nobody how is it that Naruto is suposed to find a beginning when theres only ever been an ending to everything...-Warning-Sasunaru, manpreg, and Lemons later on
1. Whats going on?

'_How did we get into this situation?' _Naruto thought as the Raven pushed him back onto the dark blue silk sheets that were cold against his back, but he wasn't quite able to feel the coolness of them when his comrade was above him, his tongue exploring the caverns of Naruto's mouth.

Sasuke perched himself over the younger boy; passion showing blindly in the blackened eyes that usually showed as much emotion as a pieces of coal. Those eyes that were as dark, but as light, as the starry night with pale skin that resembled the blindingly white moon were also asking permission from the blonde underneath him, there noses almost touching. Naruto burrowed his fingers into Raven hair, not caring how or when they had gotten into this he just didn't care anymore, pulling Sasuke down(it really wasn't fair that the Raven was using his obvious height difference as an advantage.) And when their lips touched heat coursed through the both of them hitting them in places they had never felt before; at least not for males much less each other.

The Raven began to rub Naruto's nipples through his black shirt making the blonde moan into his mouth. Sasuke smirked into their kisses trailing his lips down Naruto's neck; he loved how he could make the blonde shiver with such simple touches. When he fingered the edges of the blondes shirt slowly creeping upward onto a smooth tan stomach and how that didn't elicit any sound but make the boy tingle.

Naruto arched upward pushing more firmly against the older boy whom now he wanted more from. Much much more…things he had only ever asked Iruka about once; who was like his father therefore inclined to teach him what sex was, especially when the young boy about two years ago when he was at such an innocent age walked in on Iruka and his male lover; Kakashi. What was his father supposed to do but tell him that when two people love each other very much…and well I'm sure you know the rest….And he loved Sasuke though those feelings had just been reviled to him…and Sasuke seemed to want the same thing, so didn't that mean that they properly loved each other?

No, Naruto wasn't sure about love, for he had never really felt it, or been given love by anyone other then Iruka. But this was different then that kind of love, and it confused the blonde boy …but he wasn't about to pass such a moment up by stopping Sasuke and asking mushy stupid questions, not a chance.

But what was this exactly…Naruto wasn't sure…but all that he was really worried about how far they would go or how far he wanted them to go. Or what troubled Naruto's mind the most what in the world was going through Sasuke's head at this moment as he ripped the charcoal shirt from over Naruto's head and trailed kisses down the tan flesh that tasted so like…well Naruto.

Weren't they to young anyway to be getting this level of physical with another person, wasn't this just too soon? I mean they had been mortal enemy's, kind of friends, and barley comrades and now here they were making out on Sasuke's bed…in Sasuke's apartment…alone. Anyway wasn't it said that relationships that began with the most fire got rained on just a few short weeks after all of that passion and tragically broke up? Or, wait, was it the other way around?

Think about it though Naruto had barley turned thirteen and Sasuke was almost fourteen, wasn't this just moving way too fast? Well, it was for Naruto, but he was to far away to understand that his brain was screaming _**'This is wrong! This is wrong! This is SO wrong!' **_Though Kyuubi sure wasn't saying anything, or doing anything, but still why couldn't he stop himself or telling Sasuke to quit it?

Naruto knew why, he wanted this. He would give up ramen for this! (WAIT! The world has just come to an end! Oh well Sasuke tasted better anyways.) :)

By now every article of clothing from the waste up had been discarded into a crumpled heap onto the floor. And as Sasuke distracted Naruto with his long eyelashes that lavished the younger boy's face, neck, and now bare chest with butterfly kisses as his hands unbuttoned the first button of his pants and slipped in.

While he played with Naruto just to hear the blonde boy moan his name, each time a little louder then the last, he thought about how much he needed Naruto. How much he had always, _always, _needed him…loved him, wanted him, hated him, was jealous of him, wanted to kill him, dreamed of making love with him, pained him, thought of him; and Sasuke never had known nor did he know now why.

When they had met, first met, what was it that Sasuke had thought of him? Was his first thought of him hateful or loving; was it then that he had shown his first signs of being gay? He didn't know, Sasuke had chosen to repress all memories from before _that. _

They had been friends, best friends even, they both sucked at showing it but they really held the other up. Perfect opposites that fit together in some impossible, unreasonable, way…like Naruto the boy who had felt the most devastation in the town, he was the loneliest person in this area besides Gaara who had just gone back to the village hidden in the sand after the chuning exams, and yet Naruto was the happiest person, on the outside at least, that anyone would ever meet.

So why couldn't Sasuke be like that? He had lost everything and so much _bad _had happened to him but so what? If he had been born with nobody, nobody to loose, what would he feel then? What unimaginable pain would consume him day after day, week after week, year after year with nobody? Not even anyone to remember…what then?

He pealed Naruto's pants from his skinny legs that held an amazing amount of strength; the blonde boy lifted his hips to help him. When Sasuke appraised Narutos body his insides churned with pleasure for the fact the no one else had seen him like this. And no one else ever would…hopefully…

Riding himself of his own pants and Sasuke took him.


	2. Why arn't you here with me?

blusum- -mwah- you are my first comment! Yay! Thank you lots and lots!

**Disclaimer**-I forgot this last time so—pouts—I don't own…

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Naruto exhaled a warm breath the breathed right back in the stale air that smelled like the last reminders of sex; he was hoping that this day would be as wondrous and full of surprise just as lat night had been. Smiling up at the filtered sunlight that streamed through an open window that was on the wall next to him above a wide desk; the sun was something that Naruto had always been able to rely on. Just like the unpredictable moon that shown brightly in the sky of his world. They were the sole beings that were the most dependable things in his life so far. Humans weren't as trustworthy as those two stars that made a revolving couplet around our universe. 

The blonde stretched his exhausted mussels before sitting up, sleep coated eyes grazing the space that was supposed to hold another warm body next to him, but instead was empty. 

Naruto smiled a little, a small cheek pull on the left halve of his face, as he reached for the place that he had fallen asleep in Sasuke's arms only a few hours before this. The tips of his fingers gingerly ran over the pulled back sheets and the dented pillow where a few surviving strands of raven colored hair clung. Both were cold as if the bed had not been laid in since yesterday, frigid to the touch. Even the air above the wrinkled sheets smelt of death and every breath that Naruto had ever had to take in alone. 

Bending down to the tip of the pillow he deeply inhaled the sent that was purely Sasuke; the Sasuke that he wished with all of the heart that he had given away to him that he was not far away from him and would return as quickly as possible to the younger boy. Run if he must. Crawl if need be. Even if he had to delay death or stop time to get back to Naruto, fine. 

So many memories that the blonde now possessed had also tangled themselves in these bed linens, Naruto wasn't sure if he ever wanted to leave them because if he left them as Sasuke had he would eventually forget. Piece by piece of his memory of this time would be lost to him forever. 

A lone tear fell across Naruto's scarred cheek as he bored holes into the silk blanket that was folded back expecting Sasuke to pop out of somewhere or out of nowhere it didn't mater. Pulling him into a soft good morning to kiss to tell him how much that he did and always would love him; then and only then would he leave this bed spread behind him for the new memories that he could make hear or anywhere else with Sasuke. 

It was time to face the stupid sickening face of reality though, for it had come a-knocking on his door…Sasuke wasn't with him, but that didn't mean that he had to be necessarily gone, did it? Sasuke had just left him. 

Naruto had never expected him to stay. 

Was that premonition feeling he had had selfish or crude or even mean to have such thoughts? Naruto had expected to wake up the next morning without that significant other by his side. Such things cramped Sasuke's style and Naruto had known all along that once the night was over, once Sasuke had his way with him that he would be alone again; his own feelings about things of course didn't seem to be very important. 

Was it bad or wrong to predict that which would be the worst case scenario and have an absolute gut feeling that it wasn't going to be proved any different then how he had thought it in the first place—no matter how much he himself longed to be disproved—and take the risk anyway? How he had hoped he would have been wrong. So very wrong. But when it came to the raven he was so predictable but then so unpredictable at the same time that it brought Naruto to the brink of insanity. 

He wasn't anything like Naruto though, who had mood swings out the wazoo! Sasuke was a pretty predictable person on the outside but he'd locked so many things away that those things made him less predictable and then one didn't know what would happen next and all they could do was stay tuned. 

Though just because he had foreseen thins did that mean that he didn't trust Sasuke?

Yes. That works perfectly well as an excuse, for the blonde didn't trust anybody to be there for him the next morning. But how could he not think this way? Over halve of the village hated him anyway for merely being born. Was giving this one life such a penance that he should be killed, loathed, despised, and even feared by those he had only ever wanted to be loved by. That's why he was such a disgusting creature; being bonded with a demon was an unforgivable sin even if he had never asked for it. Everyone knew that his soul would, one day, be consumed by the demon. 

Though did it mean that he _loved_ the older boy any less? 

No definitely not! Naruto had never felt such sensations that scampered through him with little beckons of flame to set everything inside of him ablaze until all of his nerves were fried. Whether this was love or not small thoughts of the raven made the blonde involuntarily smile then want to cry then smile once again. It was almost like his blood had started flowing backwards along with his heart that had decided to flip over and beat in a whole new way. Naruto wondered if his eyes would now see things in a different perspective then before; before last night. 

Last night…before the night in question the young boy had never thought that such things could happen to a monster. He had though woken up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat with interesting pleasant dreams of Sakura whom he had had a crush on for since forever and even the shy but cute Hinata(he was a teenage boy after all) but never, not even once in the wildest of his wild dreams could he have ever dreamt of doing that with Sasuke. Though when it had been happening he had been so open; so willing. 

Has he been the one to use Sasuke, or had Sasuke used him?

Naruto grabbed the corners of the blue silk wrapping it around him before stumbling out of the comfortable bed and tripping over to the window; his mussels were so stiff. He held tightly to the blanket around him and leaned into the window frame to breathe in some fresh air so that he could clear out his mind and think rationally about this. 

His ears caught hold the two gossiping housewives conversation below and he involuntarily listened to the two ugly bitches. 

"Did you hear about the last remaining member of the Uchiha clan, that Sasuke?" The plumper one chuckled. 

"Yes, yes I did! That's a very great misfortune, very great indeed, 'tis a shame that he went to join that damn snake man, Orochimaru!" The one who appeared older prattled. 

'_Orochimaru?' _Naruto leaned in closer to listen. 

"You're absolutely right! It is awful isn't it, and the Hokage won't tell us where he went though. I absolutely wonder where in the world he could've actually disappeared to." 

"Yes, it disappoints me." 

"I bet it was to escape that monster, the short blonde one who's also on team seven, you know? He was always such a little trouble maker! I bet that's why Sasuke-kun left us. It's all that bloody demons faul—" 

Naruto slammed down the rickety window almost breaking the glass; he didn't want to hear anymore. None of the abusive comments that he had been hearing all of his life—behind his back or to his face, it made no real difference. Naruto could tell you that they had been bearing all of there equal shares of pain and hurt and loneliness. 

He waddled into the living room and plopped down onto the couch, closing his eyes only to see perfection displayed on the inside of his eyelids, which was discontinued by some more of his thoughts.

'_Who the __**heck**__ was Orochimaru!'_

There was a loud harsh banging on Sasuke's front door making the blonde child almost leap off of the couch, stopping the revolving of his thought.

Naruto decided not to answer to their knocks. What would they think if they found him here? What sort of questions would they ask him, and demand that he answer? What would his heart pour out to them when he actually heard the depths of Sasuke's great disappearing act? It already felt as if his white and red blood cells had turned against each other and were using his body as a battleground.

Was it betrayal that was the act that Sasuke had committed? Deceit? Deluded him from the reality of the situation at hand? Lured him from the truth? Cheated him out of the love that now never can be born between the two of them? Trick him like the oblivious dobe that he obviously was?

But then again did it really matter what Sasuke had done to purposely hurt what was left of his pride, what was left of his heart, and everyone else that once had a selective part to play in the ravens life here in Konoha(sp I guess)? No it didn't. Knowing it or not Sasuke was already forgiven from whatever wounds he had given Naruto and the wounds he would inflict upon him. 

They burst into the room the front door almost ripping it off of its hinges. If by delayed reaction, or whatever, Naruto barley looked up to a confused Iruka and an always passive Kakashi. Everything was numb inside of him, he couldn't even feel the nervousness that was surly gnawing away at him about what superstitious thoughts were going through both of his sensei's heads, as they saw him wrapped up in a blue blanket on a black leather couch; both obviously belonging to Sasuke.

And what about the news that the blond boy didn't know of yet; what was there left to kill that didn't reek of death inside of him?

Iruka came in, his shoe's squeaking as he knelt beside the boy whom he had always considered being like a son to him, his eyes widening at the fact that Naruto didn't even have on a good pair of clean boxers underneath that silky smooth piece of midnight. What exactly was Naruto doing here? 

"Naruto, I'm sure by now you know that Sasuke's—"

"Gone…" Naruto finished sadly staring blankly at the ceiling that was the only part of Sasuke's home that wasn't painted and/or cloaked in some utterly dark mysterious color; it was just white. This house was like Sasuke in itself he was so enveloped in darkness but there was that little light even in someone who chose to be in the blackness that the raven was stepping through. 

His father placed a open fisted hand on his sons head only to have the boy shrink away from him; something that has never happened before…

Tucking his hand back in his lap he asked, "Were you here with Sasuke all night, last night?" Naruto closed blood shot eyes and nodded once. "What-what were you two kids up too?" 

Kakashi came and knelt beside his lover watching the boy's expression with his one good eye, only to realize that his pupil might as well have been dead; maybe, better off that way too. Looking like a lifeless corps, _shit the boy had acting talent. _Or was it that loosing his friend was having this much of an impact on him. 

Naruto opened his mouth to answer his bottom lip held a slight quiver as he shifted lazy eyes between the two of them, how was it that they got to be so happy together? But his words were never spoken because he was cut off by a wailing pink headed bitching cherry blossom that ran into the room screaming like any screeching stupid ass fan girl, "Sasuke!" –A/N-GAGS- 

The yellow tree shut his mouth again secretly thanking Sakura for interrupting him, as he turned away from all of them, wishing that they would just kill him, or they could wait and leave him torturous agony that had already began the process of him alive. 

"Naruto, what are _you_doing here?" she whispered with hidden meanings, there were fresh tear tracks running down her red stained cheeks. 

"I-I spent the night," he mumbled biting his nails. Sakura watched as Iruka shuttered the fear that masked all of his features. 

"What did Sasuke do to you?" Iruka demanded like an angry mother who looked to a dismissive Kakashi (who had pulled out his little orange book only out of complete boredom) for support on the issue that his son had been deflowered at such a young age. 

"Nothing that I didn't wish for Iruka…"

"What do…what do you mean?" He asked, choking on the words as they came out. 

Naruto shifted over so that he was facing them again with a mean glare in his eye, "We had **sex**! For the love of Ramen! There is that what you wanted to hear! We had hard passionate sex in his bedroom, just last night before he had decided to leave, lead me on, and then just be gone without a trace, that **Bastard!**" Ha was so unbelievably angry, disappointed, sad even but he refused to let the tears fall from his eyelids, it was a sign of weakness. Besides even though he had forgiven Sasuke that didn't make it hurt any less. 

Sakura drew a harsh breath at Naruto's outburst, then turned on the spot and ran out yelling, "It's not true! It's not!"

"Naruto…"Iruka started but Kakashi held up his hand there was nothing that they could say to comfort his poor battered heart that was experiencing the worst form of lovesickness. There were no jitsu's (gosh sp) or medicines or potions that could heal a broken heart. There were no words of wisdom nor forms of calming silence that could see him through the darkened days ahead without the one who was supposed to be his best friend. Really, though would it have been so terrible if Sasuke could have just said goodbye?

"Hey wanna go out for ramen?" Asked Kakashi cheerily, thinking he had found the solution to the problem, "On me!"

"Pass…"

Both there smiles plummeted into frowns. 

#-------------------------End of chappie number 2------------------------#

Woot Chapter 2! So please review, flames critics, praise…whatever! I just want to hear from you…if you even read my story...So please please push the purpley button down there! Pretty please with cookies and ramen on top! 


	3. Three cheers to teenage pregnancy

**Teng-A-Ling**—I guess he does seem emo huh? Well I mean he would be considering its life that hates him…but thanks anyway I loved it that you reviewed mucho X's and O's for you!

**Argent-Kitsune**—Thank you I didn't know how to spell jutsu and THANKS ;D anyways –huggles— 

**Lanie12777**—This is my first post so I'm very happy that you like it! Yay For You! –throws confetti— 

**And a special thanks to everyone who has ever put my story on alert or favorited!—mwah—I feel so special!**

**Stupid disclaimer**—I don't own…if I did—shiver—--Twitch— nosebleeds for every yaoi fan in the world!

Onward with the story—mush— 

Naruto had been sparing a lot more lately since Sasuke had gone, it turns out to another mans home, lair, palace, place; either against his will or perfectly willing—what was the difference it all hurt the same in the end. And over the three weeks that Sasuke had left them Naruto had only grown more sullen and downcast. There was never a time in the poor boys life that he felt more alone then when he was without the raven, but who wouldn't be missing the only person who seemed to really get Naruto. 

And to top all of this off, as if it wasn't bad enough, he had caught some stupid stomach flu that made him throw up almost everything that he ate, and for another mysterious encounter he was almost always hungry. Those two symptoms made for fun days and nights, eh? 

Though the really odd thing was that he was the boy who couldn't get sick; karma had it out for him. Poor unlucky Naruto—pouts— 

But Naruto didn't honestly care anymore. If he got stronger then maybe he could go after Sasuke and possibly get him to come back with him, bet then again maybe not…People were so painfully sad without there star pupil and all the fan girls were lighting candles and balling there eyes out for the love of there lives and the man who little baby clan members they were supposed to carry. People were worried that they might set the village on fire. Just wait until they found out that he wasn't into girls. 

Sakura had been the one to agree to go and spar with Naruto even though she really hadn't forgiven him for stealing Sasuke from her(as if he was hers in the first place) but they were friends right? Both of them had the same goal, to save Sasuke and to win his heart. So they trained together getting stronger and faster and more battle hardened, and they were not going to back down. (A/N-but just because I'm into spoilers and also it's painfully obvious and because I hate that piece of bubble gum; Naruto already has his heart—peace—) 

In the middle of doing a back flip with a scissor kick to Sakura figure his eyes bulged almost threatening to pop out of there sockets and threw up all over her kimono, showing her the ramen that he had eaten for breakfast that morning. Then he bent over and hucket out anything he had out in his system previous to the last three days and when he had nothing left in side of his stomach he rolled over onto the cool grass closing his eyes. 

Why was it that he was to frigging tired all the fucking time, seriously though with all the extra chakra that he has Sakura wasn't any real competition for him…and yet her training sessions with him always left him fatigued? So why was it that all he wanted to do these days was sleep; sleep and eat. 

Naruto took slow breaths to steady his nausea and caught a familiar scent, '_Are those hotdogs…yum…hotdogs. I wonder if I put hotdogs in ramen what would it taste like...hmm I wonder…'_ he licked his lips. 

The blonde boy sat up as slowly as he was able, trying desperately to keep his balance because there were blurry spots in his vision and an unreasonable lightheadedness, he would have more then likely thrown up again, but there was nothing left in him to force its way out. 

He put a hand to his forehead before looking over to Sakura who was just theory grossed out while she picked off old slimy ramen noodles and scrap yellow gunk from her front. From time to time she emitted little _yucks _or even sometimes long _ewww's_ every once in a while. Naruto probably would have laughed if he was the same person he had been three weeks ago, but he wasn't and without Sasuke he never would be. 

"Sakura, I'm really sorry…" he groaned as the stars in his line of sight finally cleared themselves away. 

She looked back at him and smiled though it turned into more of a grimace but Naruto fought that little urge inside of him to say anything. "It's okay, I mean it's obvious that you didn't mean to, and that you don't seem to be feeling real well." Though neither did she but Naruto was emotionally sick as well as physically ill. 

He grunted in reply and laid back on the sweet smelling grass with a soft plop as his back his the ground. He planned to just take another nap here where he lay on the pebbles and dirt underneath him; a big long dirt nap! 

He was already so comfortable that he barley heard Sakura say, "Maybe you should go see Tsunade-san Naruto-kun?" 

"Hmmm…maybe…." He breathed putting his arms up over his head so that he could find a better spot to sleep not even making an attempt at staying awake for it was pointless.

"Come on, lazy bones!" she yelled standing directly over him with her hands on her hips and a scowl on her face. "How long now have you been throwing up everything that you've been eating anyway?" she asked as she picked up the relatively small boy slinging one of his arms over her shoulders. Naruto leaned almost all of his weight on her, she didn't mind though he was lighter then any of the girls his age; she would've given it her best bet that height had its own part to play in how heavy the child was. 

"Hmmm…Sakura you smell good…" he said his head crashing into her shoulder groggily as they stumbled through the town. Best not tell her that Sasuke smelled better without the cheep perfume she wore, not to mention she had just recently been up chucked upon. 

"Baka, focus!" She snapped. 

It was really hard not to love the little blonde sunflower once a person looked past the fact that he was a loser. She loved him if she was honest with herself; more then a friend or a brother. So she couldn't blame Sasuke for falling in the same deep pit with her, they had always been so close really them being with each other was expected. Though she could blame the raven for picking him over her although Naruto was the better choice, they were bonded in the first moments they met not having said anything to the other and Naruto was prettier too. 

Life sucked for the dieing little cherry blossom that was no comparison to the sun, the thought made her want to weep. 

"Okay, okay…" he grumbled under his breath. Holding his stomach because he was hungry again but he wasn't sure if he wanted to eat. Well, he wanted to eat but the results of him plus food right now were always the same? He was sure that the mix wouldn't be wise, especially for Sakura's sake. 

"When was the first time that you noticed you had been throwing up a lot?" she talked slowly as if Naruto himself was slow. 

"Well," he thought trying to blink the sleep from his eyes, "about two weeks ago, yeah roughly around that time…" 

Sakura raised her hand and clunked him over the head. 

He rubbed the place where she had hit him with a sad look and a familiar pout on his lips, "What was that for?" he whined. 

"Baka! You needed to go to Tsunade-san when you first noticed that you had become honestly sick! Your such an idiot, I mean really what am I going to do with you?" Her inner Sakura was just as pissed as her outer Sakura which made Naruto in for double that he would've gotten before he had managed to make both of her angry…which really wasn't that hard. Poor Naruto. 

"Yeah, yeah…" 

They walked or rather trudged up the way to the Hokages (grr sp) office in silence which Sakura blew off steam while punching little chibi Naruto's in her mind and Naruto couldn't help but fall asleep. 

When they made it there Sakura just burst night in to a gambling sake-drinking Tsunade. Who looked up with an annoyed look face at the two brats, one of them being a chibi. 

"Tsunade-san something's the matter with Naruto-kun?" 

"What!" she screeched. "There's no point in this visit what isn't wrong with the brat! Is it another paper cut, a nose bleed, stubbed his big toe in training, slowly being torched to death from lack of ramen, annoyance from that pervert Jiraya, blinded from the heat of the sun, does he have a zit? Or does he just want to ask me for harder ranked missions or more money this time!" She cocked an eyebrow and drowned the rest of her sake then opened a random drawer and pulled out more. 

"None of those!" she waved her hand, not doubting that Naruto had done all of those things and not just one time either. 

"Really, that's interesting…" She frowned and watched Sakura sat the unusually passive Naruto down in one of the bigger more comfortable chair and how he immediately rolled over and went into a kind of halve awake sleep. "Hm…Naruto usually can't get sick at all…unless he isn't necessarily ill like most people would think. What a fascinating day..."

"What do you mean? He told me that he's been throwing up for the past two weeks." 

"Alcohol…" Naruto moaned turning over, that smell was making his head spin round and round in dizzying circles. 

Ignoring him Tsunade took another drink and said, "So a week after the Uchiha-brat decided to leave then? This makes for one awkward situation…Sakura would you mind stepping out until I call you back in I need to talk to Naruto alone for a moment…" 

Sakura bowed her head with a sour look and walked out of the door. How come she was always the one left out?" 

Tsunade stood from her wooden desk walking over to Naruto who had fallen completely asleep somehow managing to by pass the two temper mental women speaking with each other. 

"Hey!" she yelled standing over him. 

Naruto stirred with a quick gasp. Wiping some of the droll off of the left side of his mouth while looking up at Tsunade-baa-chan with the most tired but hateful look that he could manage in this state, "I was sleeping you unlucky bid breasted bitch! Leave me the fuck alone!" 

She chuckled deciding not to be to angry…well at least for now that is. "If you hadn't noticed you are in the unlucky big breasted bitch's office, you hormonal sick ass demon," she hissed close to his ear poking mere fun at him with the ridicule that he was used to receiving. She thought especially coming from her that he would realize that she just liked talking shit like he did and that her words really truly didn't have any meaning when coming from her. 

Naruto stared up at her with the widest saddened blue eyes that gave away what a lonely child that he was; it was the most emotion that she had seen from him in a long time; the tears swimming around so clearly threatening to spill over with a bat of his eyelash. Naruto wrapped both arms around himself, around his chest, as if to keep what pieces were left of him together. 

"D-do you really think that's why Sasuke left, because he found out that I'm a monster. Do you really think that that could be the reason why? That I could be the reason why…?" 

"Where'd you get a stupid idea like that?" she snorted placing her hands on her hip—which was always a bad sign. 

Blondie shrugged looking out to the blue sky out of the nearest window, "Everyone says so everyone one of them say that it's my entire fault. Who knows—sigh—there probably right?" 

Tsunade punched him square across the cheek to send him rolling onto the floor. He just laid there to he didn't bother getting up and argue. Yeps something was most defiantly wrong with out depressed emotional blonde plushy who had just had his heart and sprit broken into millions of little pieces never to be counted. 

Moving on Tsunade asked, "Okay, so when was the last time you had sex?" She picked up a clipboard and some more sake. 

"What! You don't just ask a person that!" She raised an eyebrow as an audible threat to Naruto's skinny white ass. "About three weeks ago…" he answered finally blushing like mad. 

"Top or bottom?" 

Getting redder he sat up, "B-bottom…" 

She nodded checking random boxes on her clipboard in one hand, "I thought so…" She looked up and winked at him with a sly smile, "So is that Uchiha-brat better in bed then any of your other lovers?"

"Other lovers!" His finger nails digging into the carpet, he was so freaking angry, how dare she? "Sasuke is the only person that I've ever been in bed with. How dare you! How dare you even subject some things like I'm some cheep whore! I'm not a piece of meat or a sex addict!" 

The corners of her mouth turned down a little, "Well that narrows down the long list of whom the father could be and who the father couldn't be…" 

Naruto's brow creased in confusion, "Father of what?" 

"Your baby!" She poked a finger at his belly through the air. "I can tell from here that you've become pregnant, your chakra signature reeks horribly of your unborn baby!" 

"B-but that's impossible! I'm a boy!" 

"True, but your special remember. That fox demon inside of you is genderless, you know, therefore you are the only male alive able to conceive, yay for you. But just to be sure I'd like you to go into the bathroom and pee on this little magically magical stick." She pulled out a thing that resembled an oversized thermometer gave it to him and pointed him in the right direction. 

He stalked off in the way she had pointed muttering curses under his breath. Although he did have to pee anyway, so what did it matter really what he pee'd on. 

5 minutes later

Naruto walked back in he was scrutinizing the 'Magically magical stick' though he could see what was so great about it if he had to pee on the dang thing. 

"Hey, baa-chan, what does the happy face mean?" he asked holding it out to her. 

"Congratulations!" she yelled slapping him on the back as confetti misleadingly rained from the ceiling. She grabbed her drink, held it up and screamed, "Heres to teenage pregnancy!" And downed her alcohol. 

Naruto groaned as he went back to snuggle in the chair, "I'm going to sleep…" 

Tsunade smiled and cut him a break he was after all a mother now. Heh a mother…

#-------------------------------End of Chappie 3---------------------------------#

Well…that's that…and yay baby! Ow BABY! No joking…just well never mind…review please and I'll love you forever! Praise flame whatever just please please review! blows kiss until the next chapter! Adios!


	4. Muffins

**AnsemMesna**-Twins –cof cof- not twins –more extreme coffing- and as for the sex or sex's O.o its secret shhh

**Teng-A-Ling-**I know I'm so happy to…well kinda…and you'll see why…

**Soulcaster**- -bows- thank you

**Blusum-**I know it's actually my birthday today…and I'm 15 today…and I know a lot of girls at my school that are just total sluts and yes I'm a yaoi whore…but but in my defense its hott and I'm a virgin! Anyway yeah it didn't really sink in yet cuz like you know he was hungry and tired and still thinking _sasukesasukesasuke _so yeah… 

**LOVE ALL WHO READ REVIEW FAVORITE OR PUT ON ALERT! –Blows kisses-**

**Disclaimer-**doesn't this thing speak for itself?

**----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

It had been four months since Naruto had been pregnant with a child that he would bare for Sasuke…even though after a long nap and some more food in him the little blonde had totally flipped out, fainted, and punched stuff and people; crying of course came with the package. He had also gone through a major state of depression, like all the fan girls in the area… (A/N-Hah hah) 

Though after that he had grown even more hormonal and had gained an even bigger appetite in that short period of time; if both of those things were even possible. It was understandable though, be was a month into his second trimester, Tsunade-baa-chan had said that there would be big changes; boy was she right. 

The morning sickness had finally ended in about the middle the second month of his pregnancy, thank the almighty lord of ramen. He was now able to eat all that he wanted without having to immediately run to the bathroom afterwards…well scratch that, he now had to limp to the bathroom because almost always it was nature that called. Though Naruto saw it as a step up from having to go puke his guts out all the fucking time, Naruto was glad about that, but it was still annoyance. Everything about him was bigger except his bladder, troublesome as Shikamaru would say. 

He stared down at his swelled ankles and sighed, Tsunade had told him that it was because he was carrying to human lives (because he was forever that Kyuubi's vessel) and that they bulked up to support all that extra weight. But really did he have to be so **fat; **he thought that it was really unattractive.

What if Sasuke came back suddenly and saw him like this, all bloated and ugly, at least in his mind; Naruto was still as beautiful as ever. 

He patted his growing belly lovingly, he had actually began to show about the time he had quit having he all too awful morning sickness. His caretakers had been ever so kind as to buy the rapidly increasing teen new cloths; he had refused to wear them until it was absolutely necessary. Which that day had come and now all he could wear were button up or extra large T-shirts, sweat pants or just boxers. 

Why was it that they had refused to buy him anything that was a solid orange color, though it now made him dizzy? 

When he had first told Iruka that he would be that one to bear his and Sasuke's child of course the brunet went completely berserk! He had beat up mostly everything, mainly Kakashi but never Naruto, and cursed Sasuke with every cuss word that he could come up with. Naruto had expected it all because he had gone through it himself; the punching, the swearing, and the crying, but he hadn't been quite been ready for it. 

But Naruto had sat there and taken it because he knew that Iruka wouldn't turn him as back on the boy when he needed his help the most; Naruto after all couldn't live alone now that he was with child, or rather he didn't want to, so therefore he had asked to move in. 

Kakashi had just congratulated him briefly while peaking over his book 'o porn then looking back down to read; sure jokes would follow but in the moment the man was way too engrossed. 

Iruka trying to be helpful had even mentioned the "A" words and Naruto had blatantly told him no was José was there a snowballs chance in hell that he was having his baby aborted. No fucking way. Iruka had only suggested it, he told his son later, because he was worried that the blonde wouldn't be able to support his baby without the girl or boys father present. 

Naruto thought about it sometimes, if Sasuke had stayed, and he soon realized that his daydreams either went one of two ways. 

The first was that the love of his life would have as much joy as Naruto, more then the raven would know what to do with, at the news that Naruto was going to be the one to revive his clan with him. The raven would at least try to be a somewhat adequate father, but most importantly he would be there for Naruto and for their baby. 

Naruto could picture the young raven giving his swelled feet massage's whenever he asked for them. Putting up with him when he wanted to scream and thrash at the most random things. Or when he wanted to drink his ramen like coffee in the morning or put pickle juice on his mellow marshes. Sasuke would hold him when he started to cry because he knew that he had stepped on an unsuspecting family of air pathogens, and Sasuke would whisper sweet nothings into his ear. He would tell the blonde over and over again that he was here for him, and that he would try not to be a brooding bastard all the time. 

They would buy parenting books and read them together while they cuddled on his black leather couch. Listen to the babies first sounds and kicks with one another. Fight over there child's name and then finally have some good ol' make up sex. 

Naruto wouldn't need anybody but the raven to take care of him and then life would be good and the future would have a semi-predictable ending. 

Was it then that Naruto could find happiness?

The other scenario would be that Sasuke's face would drop at the news, he would make up excuses and tell the blonde boy that he was too young or to busy to be having a baby at his age; or maybe he would flat out deny that it was even true. Then Naruto would know that it had only ever been a one night stand because after those _encouraging _words Sasuke would ignore him completely and Naruto would be on his own, not that he wasn't now, but everyday he would be forced to face the older boys' cold shoulder because of the child that was growing inside of him.

Their child…his and Sasukes baby…something about those words sent happy shivers down Naruto's aching spine. He alone had the privilege of birthing the first Uchiha heir. He patted his stomach again and smiled to himself.

"Naruto…?" asked Sakura from the doorway where she had been watching Naruto lounge on a backless couch near the closet window his feet perched on the sill and a basket brimming with warm muffins next to him; which he was scarfing pretty greedily. 

Sakura was in full view of Naruto's little tummy and a part of her instantly tightened, that tiny part of her that still loved Sasuke as a whole of her heart instead of just with all the little pieces. She wanted to turn around and abandon Naruto even though they had been X-friends. 

She had wanted to be the sole vessel who carried Sauce's child, if not that she had only wished for his love, just one itty bitty piece of his heart. She would've given all of herself at a moments notice. Sakura would have traded it all away if she could have been the one filling Naruto's shoes. 

"Hey Sakura!" he smiled a few bits of blueberry and poppy seed stuck between his teeth. 

He moved his hand off of his stomach to pat that empty spot next to him; it was where he had been trying to in vision Sasuke sitting with him watching the sun set and marveling about how big that Naruto had gotten. Then Sasuke would crack a joke and get thunked over the head and called a bastard. The raven would only genuinely laugh as he held his little temper mental blonde dobe. 

But Sakura came in reluctantly, counting her steps it seemed, and filled the vacant space. 

"Muffin?" he held one of them out to her, not really wanting to give her a share, it was after all his baked good of warm fluffy delight. But he could spare a tinsey bit of that delight…for a friend. She had after all come to see him after all of this time, even if her intentions weren't really to see him…Naruto was more a glass halve full kinda guy anyway, except when he's moody, don't fuck with him when he's moody. 

She shook her head and the boy shrugged and gobbled up his wonderful muffin. 

"Naruto, I just wanted to see how you were doing…." She fidgeted with the hemming of her kimono, not able to look her junior in the eyes just yet. 

"No, that's a lie. You came here today to see what you had only heard was the truth, even though I was the one who told you.—sigh— Well here you are this is the honest proof that me and Sasuke spent the night together before he left. You came here to see if I was really pregnant with his child…I know that I've hurt you Sakura…I hurt you so badly for doing what I did. I'm really sorry that it caused you all that pain but I wouldn't trade that time in for the world…" 

Sakura hung her head feeling all to exposed as if Naruto's shockingly blue eyes could see right through her and saw the wall behind her and every tiny thing in between. Then she looked up and met his eyes taking one of his hand lazily the one that laid on his enlarged belly. 

"You love him, I can't help that or stop it, and I want to be angry with you, mad beyond belief , with more fire and punches then you knew could come from me. I also know that somewhere within me I'm more then furious that he chose you as his mate over me, but he never even liked me…when you and him were closer then I could ever be with him, even before this whole giant mess. But it will take me some time though to forgive you, isn't that what they say, is that time heals even the deepest of wounds." 

Naruto sighed taking another bite of his muffin thinking that if time would fix him then make it stop, if the pain forced him to remember then so be it, he would bare the agony if he wouldn't just forget and let go. 

"That's understandable." He finally said, still wishing that he had been forgiven it would make him feel a whole lot better about him self. 

"And you know what; you should see all the fan girls, theres two groups of them now you know?" He shook his head. "One has converted into yaoi fans and when they heard that you and him have had sex they almost died. And then there's the other girls who are hardcore fans of Sasuke and when they heard you had sex…well the almost died. Suicide was a big topic in the base…and there missing it Naruto you fat." 

He groaned and then somewhat sarcastically laughed, "Oh yeah that was funny as shit Hah Hah." 

She grabbed a muffin and popped it eagerly into her mouth, chewed and then spit it up, Naruto giggled like mad. 

"You baked ramen into the muffins!" 

Naruto nodded…

"Yuck…" 

#---------------------------End of chappie 4-----------------------------#

I hate Sakura as much as the next girl. 

But I decided to make her nice in this fic o' mine, I mean it helps later on in the story if she becomes like a sister to him. 

So sue me…

Okay reviews and you'll get some lovely muffins with ramen baked into them, YAY –claps- Make it a happy birthday for me and review! Please!


	5. Uh oh!

Soulcaster-Dearest you I'm extremely sorry that I haven't updated recently cuz life is just riding me for all that I'm worth r

**Soulcaster**-Dearest you I'm extremely sorry that I haven't updated recently cuz life is just riding me for all that I'm worth right now but I have the next few chapters written I just haven't had time to type them. So again my apologies!

**Kitkatjacking**-ditto! Oh and thanks for reviewing!

**blusum**-YAY! I love you forever!!

**Disclaimer**-Do you know how much this thingy depresses me!?

**I really really love all you peoples who read, review, favorite, and/or alert!! **

"This…is a baby shower…?" Naruto asked somewhat skeptically in his very pregnant state, his nose hit the air as he said this as if he smelled something rotten, which he did the house next door almost always smelt like old pit stains and Kiba always smelled like dog.

The place sure was done up, regrettably true it was only Iruka and Kakashi's living room, but it seemed much nicer then before as if someone had spent all there free time today fixing it up so that they could party; in the name of Naruto, of course. With all the absolutely lovely decor, orange and red balloons that read in think black lettering it's a girl or it's a boy; they couldn't have just put one up because Naruto wanted to actually have the baby not be told what sex his baby was going to be.

There were also multicolored streamers over the windows like curtains and strung across the room from one point on the ceiling to another then back again and this was done more times then one could count. Then there was a huge white banner in the middle of all of this with rainbow lettering that said in all capitals BABY!

It was also packed with all the people that knew and loved Naruto, and had to come to celebrate him and his child.

Sakura was pushing his wheel chair that Naruto; after being pregnant for seven months, had to be carted around in because his itty bitty body couldn't take all the pressure and weight of being as big as he was—short legs were not meant for heavy labor(A/N-labor…heh get it? Heh heh)

She said, "Yes, Naruto this is your baby shower!"

The cherry blossom caught sight of the table over flowing with food and was more then thankful for it.

As she started to lug him in that direction he said. "What's the point of having a shower for an unborn baby, who knows it might not make it through in the process of actual birth…"

The he looked down quickly wrapping his arms around his tummy and bursted out crying, "No, no, mommy didn't mean that, mommies sorry…he's just in a bad mood today, huh?" he hiccupped rubbing his _soon-to-be _bundle of joy.

Naruto looked up sniffling as the ride came to a stop and shrieked, "FOOD!" rather enthusiastically!

Sakura sighed at the tables nicely sorted eatables that would hold his attention for now, but believe it that his mood would change momentarily and boy was he tiring sometimes. But Sakura was the man for the job; Iruka still had to do his job at the academy after all and Kakashi wouldn't ever be asked because all that he would do would make fun of the very pregnant, very hormonal, blonde and in the end he would not turn out to be a very pretty bloody chewed then spit up pulp. She was also sure that Iruka wouldn't want him coming home in a full body cast; so as they say he had merely been overlooked for the position to look after Naruto.

Sakura watched as Naruto gobbled up all the things that he could reach without moving anything but his arms, then they were in his mouth and gone before he him self could say 'ramen'.

"Sakura-chan, frook!" he exclaimed with an over stuffed mouth and he was clapping rather exitedly as he pointed to the pyramid of food that he had created. Which was disorderly and Sakura wouldn't have minded one little bit if it had been a smidge more color coordinated(bitch), but it showed that the boy was sort of happy right now.

His happiness was always a good thing; **always! **When he wasn't let's put it this way, bad things happened, especially when being in such a state where one wants to eat then cry till they puke. So, check, happiness most defiantly a good thing.

Naruto looked up at her with sad poutie azul eyes. _Why must all good things come to an end!?_ She mentally cursed.

He finished swallowing then whispered, "Sakura, do you think that I'm fat?"

"No," she answered honestly.

"I knew it! I'm fat!" He screamed at the top of his lungs at her by this time balling his eyes out over his plates and plates of food. He was wailing throwing his arms wildly into the air and bouncing around like a two year old in a fit; it was one hell of a temper tantrum. Yippee.

"No, no, _nonononononono…_" she franticly whispered kneeling down beside his chair trying to claim the tempest. "Right now, there's just a little bit more of you to love!"

Wrong choice of words.

"_Sasuke_ doesn't love me, Sakura, if _Sasuke _loved me wouldn't he be here right now?! Well wouldn't he?! Hm, I knew that Sasuke left all because I'm so **fat! **Even you're getting tired of having to deal with me. I know it. I knew that I was the reason why he left, that I was the only reason, I had to be the reason, and that _Sasuke_ **never ever LOVED ME!!" **

She grabbed his arms pinning them to his sides, "No more talk, all of this stress is bad for your baby, think about your baby!"

"Babies…." Stated Tsunade from where she stood behind them with, as always, her handy dandy sake. She had said that she had been trying to lay off of the liquor but I guess it goes to show you that old habits die hard; or that, excusing the one who was with child, everyone gets drunk at a baby shower.

"Babies." The both asked blankly.

"Don't give me those looks, you brats, twins Naruto. for pete's sake, your having twins!" she groaned as if it had been right in frount of there facing the whole time, and found it rather bothersome that she(not like it was her duty being the Hokage, or anything) had to be the one to tell them.

"There are two little lives in there…?" Naruto stared down at his stomach with child-like wonder and even prodded it once with his index finger then looked up at the two of them with an awe-struck expression on his face. Sakura thought that maybe she would get a few more precious moments of his brief happiness…wrong again.

"HA HA Sakura! I told you! I told you that I was fat, huge! Humongous, even!" He mocked her as his expression practically screamed 'Told ja so, bitch!'

She rubbed her temples sighing, "I need a drink…would you mind watching him and make that he doesn't wander off…" All to well knowing that the blonde had a habit of doing just that, even when he was stuck in a wheel chair. Seriously the dobe was like an oversized worm wriggling in the way that he just tended to wriggle.

"Ahhh, Sakura-chan!" he sung, "I want champagne with chocolate, please!" the boy squirmed in his chair as he said this just itching to leave the dang thing (Which was a futile attempt he couldn't stand without assistance anyway) the stupid thing had become more like the bars of a cage then actual help.

"Sure thing kid! 'Oy and get me some more Sake while your up." Tsunade grumbled coming to stand and protect the little patch of sunlight that had turned his attention back to the food. She glared daggers at each and every guest as Sakura pushed her way through the crowd making her way to the drink table. Who separates the food and the drinks with a dance floor, really?

"So twins eh Naruto what do you think about?" Tsunade asked, she usually wasn't one for small talk but here she was talking small.

"I think that it's great, Tsunade, I get to have not one but two of Sasuke's children, isn't that wonderful! Hey, is that why were celebrating?" he beamed up at her a smudge of white powder on his face.

"No you idiot were celebrating you, this is the one day its all about you and the fact that we all haven't all gone star-craving mad on the point that we were all going to jump ship before it sunk! You and your wild antics! Especially when you're seven months pregnant, oh I thought we were going to need heavens help, when I first told you and in these times after!" she threw back some more of her sake after her little rant.

A familiar pout set on Naruto's lips, "Meanie…you aren't very nice you know?"

"Thanks kid, it means a lot." She said sarcastically, sipping what was left of her sake where was that fucking brat with her drink anyway?!

"Hey!" Neji cut in bounding up to the teen with unexpected joy from someone who was usually very emo, extremely 'I hate life, life hates me, and everyone needs to die!' kind of guy. Naruto took immediate notice that his and Kiba's, who was standing right next to him, fingers were intertwined together. They must have recently hooked up, Naruto wondered if they had had sex yet…hm…he would have to ask later and if yes then he would have to give them a firm lecture unless Neji wanted to end up like him, obviously.

"Hey!" Naruto's screamed back smiling broadly up at them, "To both of you!" he knew that Kiba was even there.

"You know what's really funny?" asked Kiba jumping straight into conversation.

"Um, your face…" the blonde said perfectly serious.

"No," Kiba snorted giving Naruto a 'what the fuck ever' face. "It's the way that the banner letters are rainbow colored, it's so great!"

"I really don't see how that's funny…" remarked Naruto and Kiba's face fell at that and gave him another look that said for all who wanted to hear it, 'You've got to be kidding me?" his mouth had fallen ever so slightly open and Neji internally thought about how cute that he looked.

"Well…" he began very melodramatic, but didn't have time to continue because coming up from behind him Sakura kicked him hard in the back of the shin with a smile on her face.

"Sake for you!" she handed it to Tsunade who usually held her liquor very well but was flirting with a hat rack and the cheese dib. Sakura couldn't decide if she was drunk or playing a joke.

"And…sparkling grape juice and chocolate for you."

"This isn't champagne." Naruto said with a look of disgust as he stared down at it.

"No its not." She challenged drinking her own glass of champagne with an olive, olives were very cosmopolitan. She thought they were cooler then just a plain glass, more decorative.

He shrugged, "Okay." Plopped the chocolate into his drink swirling it once with his pinky finger and then set the whole thing down on the table not even bothering to take a sip. Sakura was surprised that he hadn't even given the slightest remark or tried to bite her head off.

"Are you going to drink that?" she said before she could stop it.

He folded his hand over his tummy and pressed his lips into a thin line as of thinking very hard about something very important. "I was planning on it." He finally said.

"As I was saying," Kiba interjected. "The rainbow letters on the banner are funny because you're gay!"

Naruto's eyes turned into dangerously low slits and Sakura took an involuntary step back, "Just for your information," he hissed through clenched teeth unhappy with Kiba's outstandingly 'funny' comment. "I'm Bi you asshole!"

"What does Bi mean?" asked Lee bounding up to greet the group.

"It basically means that Naruto isn't picky…" Kiba told me truthfully but with a meaner suggestion in his words.

"You'll pay for that!" Yelled Naruto, wiggling in a way that his chair threatened to topple over. "I don't know how, or when seeing as I can't move from this fucking chair. But believe me you will pay, and you will be sorry."

"Relax," clammed Sakura coming to Kiba's rescue, "Here drink this." And she handed him his drink which the chocolate had sunken into.

He dropped it at the exact moment that it was placed in his hand, he was shaking so badly, the pieces scattered like little shards of crystal over the dance floor, "I'm sorry…" he said sadly starting to cry.

"Naruto, it's okay, shhh…" she whispered pating his hair. She looked taken aback when he put a hand to his stomach and looked at her deeply in the eyes and said without a single bit of sarcasm.

"Somethings wrong…" he gasped as if he had just been hi, "Help me…"

End

My attempt at dramatic irony I'm sorry if it didn't come off that way.

So please don't kill I would really rather not die.

Oh and blusum you will get Sasunaru cookies later and a whole chapter dedicated to you because you gave me yoai cake and I love you!!

Oh and just so you know updates will be weekly from now on!


	6. Hajime and Sasuke Jr

**allthningzANIME-**I've never been to one so the entire last chapter was all in my brain and what I thought that a baby shower would be like. And why did you get pissed off after twenty minutes of your sisters? I'm honestly curious now!

**Sasunarulover4life-**I know I hate Sasuke a lot, too, but it had to happen to give the story more drama. But punishing him sound fun—steals the book—I like number 47 personally, 'tie Sasuke to a chair and have Naruto dance around him naked.' Lol. What fun.

**Eovin-**Thank you for reviewing!

**blusum-**I love you more ill bet, but I feel awful about this chapter so—holds up a cross sign—don't kill me!

**Disclaimer**-same ol' same ol'! Don't own, blah. Don't own, blah.

**Love everyone. Period. The end. **

It hurt…something awful…more so then he thought that it would. Or was this the way that it was supposed to feel when this sort of thing happened to him, it wasn't even meant to go remotely in this direction. To feel like unnamed something's in his inner workings were going to battle, everything was getting minimized and compacted into a small tight ball. Smaller and smaller until there would be nothing left to minimize and compact.

He could feel them, these were contractions.

The gears that made that revolutionary circuit all around him had stopped in its tracts but at the same time felt the need to go about ten times faster, at a much higher speed, to pump things like _moremoremore_ inside of him.

He looked to the people, or what he thought were people, huddled up against him as if he were some insulator for warmth; there shapes were blurry and he was unable to tell who was who or where even that he was or what was what. He just started talking, for the sake of talking; trying to explain to them that there was something wrong with him and his babies. Mostly his babies, forget about him, he wasn't really all that important, just help his fucking babies! Now!

"Help please…" he panted, was it only him or was the room just filled with this thick cloud of stuffiness and sort of this thick layer of pain, was it that that made it so hard for him to breathe in and then out again. "It hurts, it hurts." He gulped feeling a slow steady streaming of beads of sweat accumulating on his forehead and found it even harder to take it air. But he kept trying to speak even despite the agony. "My babies just get my babies."

Then his throat stopped up and he wasn't able to say anymore though he wished that he could. How come they were just standing there staring at him like he was on some kind of fucked up display? He knew that man-preg was a whole new concept but he was in some serious pain here, and he was asking for there help, he was calling out for them. Why wouldn't they answer his cries?

Naruto wasn't making any sense; he mumbled some words under his breath that were just long strings of stuff they couldn't understand. Then he would breathe deeply and gulp and twitch his fingers in really weird ways, every one was freaking out in their fast chatter all around him.

Sakura wasn't sure what she should do, she knew what she could do, and sure she had been training under Tsunade-san when she found the time but that didn't mean that she was ready for this kind of thing to pop out of nowhere. She guessed it was just routine for life to meander around and randomly give her a good slap in the face.

Or had that been the Hokage herself who did that with quick movements and screamed in her ear, "You look like you just saw death itself, so get your skinny ass over here and help me, help him."

But she wasn't sure; she had always just been Sakura who was one step behind them, letting them save her. And now he needed her and she was frozen like some sort of pussy statue; he was so strong, mush stronger then she was, to call out for help like he had.

She was just so nervous for him, was Naruto and his children going to make it, or not? It just was plainly not fair that these things almost always seemed to happen to Naruto, everything that he had ever loved and only wanted to be loved back by had ripped itself out from underneath him leaving him without a foundation.

The villagers had pushed him down the road less traveled by so that they didn't have to look at him anymore; just because he harbored something that wasn't human it didn't mean that he himself didn't deserve basic human rights. Sakura couldn't stand this anymore.

He was her friend; even when she had called him her own set of names behind his back.

He was her comrade; even when she herself hadn't wanted him to so much as touch her.

He was her annoying little brother; even when she hadn't wanted to be seen with him, and abandoned him like the rest.

And right now in this moment he was in pain, that much she could tell, there was something that had gone terribly wrong with her pregnancy and she could loose him to that great beyond for however long that it took for her to reach him.

"Sakura!" Tsunade yelled waking her from her momentary laps in reason, "He's gone into labor to early," She pointed to the water stain on his pants that wasn't all water have of it was a thick crimson color. "His water has broken, we need to get him to a more secure area away from all of these people or else him and his babies will _die. _So quit standing there with those bug eyes and get over here, you brat!"

She couldn't move for a moment, there was so much blood, but then bucked up holding down her gag reflex she rushed to Tsunade's side; she refused to be helpless.

"What do you need me to do?" She would give anything at this point to help him; anything to save him, just as he would do if there roles had been reversed. She was going to take this small part of him and use it for herself.

"Help me get him into the bedroom; it's too late to get him into the hospital." Sakura nodded wheeling Naruto into the next room that help a bed, Tsunade hot on her heals. That was more like it.

They scooped him up into there arms, mostly Tsunade's, and set him ever so gently onto the bed, propping him halve way up on a whole bunch of pillows. His shortness of breath was over the top, tossing in odd patterns from side to side and mumbled something that they two of them could actually understand this time.

"It hurts so bad…Sasuke…help me…" The tears were draining down his face in unmistakable suffering, in his own mind he honestly saw the raven standing there with him. Somewhere deep in his subconscious he thought that the older boy was right next to him, and was going through this, too. It was merely a hallucination of the thing that he wanted and need the most right now, to just stay while he bore that ones children. He only wanted to see him there.

"Its okay, sweetie, just try and relax sweetheart…" whispered Sakura grabbing the blonde hand and putting a soothing palm on his forehead.

"It's to late for relaxation I'm afraid, at this point the babies need to get out of there now or all three of them are going to be gone, they only have the next hour or so if we don't hurry…"

Sakura's head snapped up, "No, why, why this soon he only had two more months to go and then that was his due date, not here, not now. It wasn't supposed to happen like this." She sobbed.

"Sakura, get a hold of your self, look this little asshole needs you, and your not of any use to him when you're a blubbering mess like this," she worked quickly taking off Naruto's soiled sweat pants and discarding them onto the floor so that she could clear the passage way for them. "Get his damn sweater off of him. I know that it's the middle of January but really why all the layers?"

Sakura did as she was told leaving him with nothing on but a baggy black T-shirt that was already soaked through with him sweat.

Tsunade ran a hand through her hair, "It's way too late for a C-section, and we'll have to have the babies manually."

"You mean through his…um…his…"

"No, you stupid girl," she yelled spreading Naruto's legs so that she could get a proper view of what was going in down there. "He can have them through his ass, which admittedly isn't all hat better but it's a hell of a lot better then through his dick, eh?"

Then speaking to Naruto she said, "Brat, I need you to push now!" The blonde didn't respond at first, "Now!"

He heard this time and acted faster pushing with all of his might and every ounce of strength that he had left in him somewhere. Where was that damn adrenaline when he needed it, he only wanted to get the damn things out of him, it hurt so bad that he swore he wasn't ever going to have sex ever again.(A/N-technically he's a liar)

Approximately forty or so minutes later he managed to pop his first child out into Tsunades hands, witch as _she_ came he screamed in distress. He was bleeding pretty badly.

"Congratulations, Naruto, it s girl!" She handed his beautiful baby girl off to Hinata, who had appeared with her magical ways, to get cleaned off and to cut the umbilical cord and all that other good stuff. The child was just wailing her head off, letting her presence be known in the world.

"This one shouldn't be as hard just a couple more good pushes and it'll be out, so push!" Naruto screamed his way through this baby, too.

Tsunade was right this one came much easier then the last, and when it was out Sakura whispered, "Good job, mommy," patting his forehead with a dampened cloth.

"It's a boy!" but there were significant differences between the two of his children, for one the girl was still crying and this one was still and silent, but she handed him off to Hinata who had started crying at the loss, and hated it how he laid so limp and lifeless in her arms.

Naruto smiled with his eyes closed completely unaware of the sadness and breathed, "Hajime for the girl and Sasuke…Uchiha…" and with those last words he passed out on the sheets, it was best to let the new mother sleep, they would save this grave news for a later date.

They took turns looking and holding his children, except for Sakura who had started to clean off the blonde of all of that blood that he was still bleeding pouring out of such a small hole; she shivered. She bandaged him up and draped a blanket over him so that he would be more comfortable while he slept.

Even Tsunade had started to cry as she looked down at the one who wasn't even giving a simple chance at life; the child was nothing short of an angel. Why did he have to die?

They all looked to the new mother who was sleeping so soundly with a perfect smile on his face because he didn't know that one of his children, one of his babies, had just died. That Tsunade and Sakura had been too late in saving him, in saving the tiny Sasuke. One of his own had just passed into the after life without even getting a glimpse of the outside world.

There was a new agony and despair inside of each of there chests, that made there hearts hurt in unimaginable ways. And death lingered with them, it was like the little Sasukes soul floated mere feet above there heads instead of being with its body, but was going up to heaven.

"Call it…" sniffled Sakura, "We can't do anything now…" she cried harder at the truth of those words, hovering closer and closer to Hajime thankful that at least one had survived. She was strong; she would be fierce.

"Seven forty nine P.M. January seventeenth, the death date and birthday of little Sasuke Uchiha." Hinata sobbed over the living child in her hands, who was sleeping in her arms.

They all wept together, over a live child and one that was not. Trading one being for another; life it was just not fair.

**End**

I know I hate me too.

And for anyone who actually cares Hajime means 'beginning' in Japanese, hence the title! Yay me!

Anyway in the next chapter you'll know why the little Sasuke died early…it's so sad…—sniffles— and Ill give the babies profiles there so cute!

I really hate me now, but review and tell me how much you hate or don't hate my story please I beg of you!

I'm also sorry that this chapters shorter then usual which really isn't all that long.

And woot I managed to update today instead of next week!


	7. Why?

dreamerswaking-Yeah um I was planning on him finding out when Hajime and Sasuke Jr

**dreamerswaking**-Yeah um I was planning on him finding out when Hajime and Sasuke Jr. Turn three like on there exact birth date and I was thinking it would be really funny if Sasuke thought that Hinata was the mother instead of Naruto. What's your opinion?

**allthningzANIME**-Yeah I know that's what I was going for, originality, I mean. So thanks a lot! Um what do you think about Vampire fics?

**Sasunarulover4life-**Okay! Lets do that one! But…wait…I thought it was called '100 ways to punish Sasuke'? So I'm confused…

**Blusum**-I know—cry's too—But…I mean later…actually it has no benefits to the story I just felt like being sadistic a little bit, because actually fluff is a really difficult thing for me to write. Most of the time I'm into massacres and death and long states of depression before every one implodes into oblivion! Yeah so—grimaces—I'm sorry…

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Naruto woke up finding himself staring at a white wall and he couldn't help but think '_is this death' _but no he doubted that when he died that there would be a desk lamp and a alarm clock set beside him. It was about seven hours after he had given birth to two precious lives. They were two things that had kept him going, possibly alive, through all of those hard times without the one who had impregnated him in this first place.

He stretched a little, his legs were cramped and his ass and back ached every time that he shifted ever the tiniest bit. The blonde was now in a backless medical slip, almost like an oversized shirt but was almost see-through and had some funky pattern on it. Weird, and defiantly different but it was comfortable, so what did it matter, really, no matter how much of a cute fool that he looked like.

Then he realized that he could actually see his feet for once in that longest life time that he had ever been in, even though they were only two hills sticking up under a colorless blanket. But he was overly excited that he could see them and make sure that they were still there! The swelling around his mid-drift had gone down, and, yes, he had a lot of excess fat but not anything that he couldn't work off in the near future if he trained hard enough.

Finally, moving his stiff neck to look around the room he noticed that it was packed with all of the people, excluding Tsunade he saw, who had been at his party. He would swear later on that they were not even laying in the floor but also on the walls that how many had been there for him. They looked at the white washed room with pretty glum expressions just to bide their time. To only turn the minutes into hours without thinking to hard on their halve awake thoughts. It had to be some time really the next morning, wasn't that was the clock next to him said?

Sakura was the first to notice that Naruto was indeed awake but only just, he was taking in his surroundings slowly, figuring it out that they had taken him to the hospital after he had had his children.

She immediately went to his side and squeezed the hand that was closet to her briefly, and with the other one she tucked some of her pink hair behind her ear and then un-tucked it again; something she only did when she was really worried or nervous.

God, he looked extremely awful, what with those huge puffy bags under his blood shot eyes from all the crying that he had been doing yesterday night. The blonde looked so pale and weak and Sakura was scared that if she made the wrong move he would break in halve like a toothpick; even though she knew that he was way stronger then that and she wasn't giving him enough credit. She supposed that the trial period after him, being the first male to do so, giving birth had to have left him warn down. Sakura had been the one to clean him after he had basically passed out; little boy couldn't even take care of himself right.

She smiled lightly, "Hey, sleepyhead," she said brushing some of his sweat covered pieces of hair out of his eyes, unusually nauseous about the mild point of how they were going to tell him about the little Sasuke.

"Hey…" he croaked, "Where…where are my babies?" He looked around to each and every face that looked back with shame clearly implanted on their features. He was frantic, the mother instincts kicking in. "Did anything happen to them? Sakura? Sakura, tell me?" He clung to her shirt like it was the last thing he had left to hold onto.

The pink haired girl wasn't sure if she wanted to be the lie to him or if it was her place to be the one to tell him the news that no new mommy wanted to hear. So finding a compromise she kept her mouth shut suddenly turning into a statue made rock solid.

As if on cue Tsuande burst in, for once without her sake, which I think through everybody off a little bit, screaming. "If that brat isn't up by now then by god I'm waking him up!" she held a tiny baby in her arms as she looked right at him with a passive expression on her face, though she could see the relief that washed over him like a swollen wave as his eyes watched gleefully both of them safely with her.

"Hey, mommy!" she teased. "Do you want to hold your baby boy and little girl, or what? She smiles. These were the children that she had stayed up all night to watch, at least, to look over one and mourn over the other; she knew what it was like to loose someone who was always so close to her heart. Just like her it had happened to him twice.

Naruto nodded happily.

"Then sit up, brat." She commented reverting back to 'brat' instead of her new favorite thing which was 'mommy'; it was just really comical for some reason.

Sakura helped the blonde push himself up onto his pillows; he could see from the place that he was at, that his children were so incredibly beautiful. And he knew without a shadow of doubt in his mind that he would always love and cherish the two. No matter what, he was their mother and he was going to stick around.

The tears of joy welled in his eyes as he was carefully handed his two slumbering babies; Sasuke on his left and Hajime on his right. He just stared al them for as long as he was able to without having to blink.

Hajime had short cropped hair; that same shade of raven as her father; it even had that slightest hint of navy when the light hit it right. She had a round face that was open and heart shaped with wide dark blue eyes, like two irises's made solely of moonlight and very contrasting tan skin. She yawned randomly emanating a little sound then moving a little in her pink bundle and going back to sleep. It must have been strange being so brand new; it was a shame that no one could really remember being born.

Then Naruto looked to his son who didn't have an inch of likeness to his father; he was such a contrast to the older boy who couldn't be here to see them like this, so little, he didn't even know that he clan had been revived, and it was possible that he would never know. But Sasuke Jr. had thick golden locks with the faintest tint of brown on his head. A mixture between pale and tan skin and the same midnight blue eyes as his sister, both were angels.

He frowned at his child, noticing that something was amiss, his son wasn't breathing.

He started weeping all the harder, but this time not from joy, pain, pure agony, wrenched at his heart and he screamed whispered, "No! No!" and fawned over his tiny son who's eyes he would never see open, who would grow not even an inch.

He looked around the room trying to see any sort of an explanation for why his child, his little boy, was _gone_, but they all only gave him apologetic smiles that did not touch their eyes.

Iruka was crying and Kakashi was doing his best to comfort him by holding him in their own little corner; if only Naruto had someone who would do that for him.

"H-how!" He spluttered moving to pass over his little girl smiling and crying over both of them.

"Everybody out!" Tsunade yelled shoving an acrylic nailed finger at the door, shooing them away. "I would like to talk to Naruto alone, please, and don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!"

Sakura was the last one to follow the depressed crowd out the door, a soggy cloud of heavy acid water seemingly about to rain on their ducked heads, but not before smiling at Naruto which did not touch her eyes, and closing the door on her way out. She didn't think she could handle that stupid sickening stench of death that was locked up around that baby anymore.

"H-how!?" Naruto repeated.

"Mommy, this may be hard for you to hear, keep that in mind okay? And also keep it in mind that your body wasn't designed to bear children, not of any kind, alright?"

Naruto nodded sadly just wanting to know why his baby was _dead_.

Tsunade sighed running a hand through her hair, watching his expression with her blue eyes as she started the sad story, "You went into an early labor, Naruto, two months a week and an odd handful of days earlier then your C-section was scheduled so that you could have the most painless process of birth, that was the way that it was supposed happened. And we both know that that isn't the way that it did happen."

Naruto nodded again, sniffling a bit, this news only made him hold his children all the more tightly to himself.

"But your water broke at the party, probably 'cause of all the yelling that you were doing, but it was more then likely because your itty bitty body couldn't take the weight of carrying both of them within you. We don't really know the cause because…well…it's not the sort of thing that's been studied. But if it had only been Hajime or only Sasuke then I'm sure that everything would have been fine, according to schedule, and you wouldn't have to go through this pain."

She sighed again and grimaced then muttered, "Even with your levels of chakra males are just not supposed to give birth, it's not possible, it shouldn't have been possible…"

Naruto gasped was she suggesting that he wished that it had not happened, well if he had been given the choice…he really couldn't have decided either way; on one hand, to wish on something so hard and have it taken away, then on the other, to not have it at all.

So your body saw your children as a virus or something they needed to get rid of, instinctively knowing that they were not supposed to be there. And also for the fact that the babies took up all your energy and did make you physically sick, could also be it. But you see it's all really a big guessing game."

She paused, smiling wearily her eyes honestly sorry for the dobe, this was news that someone as hard as she _had to be _couldn't take. So she wondered somewhere deep in her subconscious how he could just sit there with a nothing expression on his face staring her down with perpetual ice cycles, glaring daggers, the tears still streaming full force down his face and snot dripping from his nose onto his lips. He was probably in shock. Hell, she sure woulda been, too.

"So…your immune system sent out little anti-bodies to attack the problem at its source so that they wouldn't be able to take your nutrients anymore."

Naruto swallowed harshly he was taking this rather well but that was probably because his mind was completely _floored._

"What…what about Kyubbi?" he asked slowly, debating with himself on whether he really wanted to know or not, which finally he knew it would be better to know everything then to not know. It was, after all, his son for god sakes!

"I think that in Kyubbi's attempt to save all of you she was the one who forced you into an early labor. She couldn't have protected the children because it would have been destroying you and you're her vessel, her only chance at becoming a full fledged demon again. But also she feels everything that you feel and if the babies had just died, that means you probably would have just died also. Under the circumstances, I probably would've done the same thing…"

"…But unfortunately Sasuke came out second and your body had already…" she trailed of leaving the sentence with a shiver up and down her spine, then a closing. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be Tsunade-baa-chan," she looked up to see him smiling down at his kids an expression of peace on his face. "I have two beautiful children thanks to you, you're a miracle worker, and they were right when they appointed you Hokage. You were at least able to save one of them, right?"

"Well," she flustered never expecting the dobe to be able to sound so grown up, "I had help Sakura and Hinata were there too, you know?"

"Oh, well I'm sure you all did something that no one else would be able to do."

Even the stupidest man, which they were all pretty stupid, could see past the boys plastered on smile and know that in his eyes agony shown blindly even with all the salt water in the way.

"Besides," he continued his voice wavering a little, "I would be cheating my daughter if I didn't treat my son like he was still alive. Plus if I keep him in my heart, where I can protect him forever, he will stay alive and live with me until the day that I die. Just like she will, there my kids, and that's all that really matters now…"

"Should we have the funeral today or tomorrow," Tsunade said knowing there was nothing that she could say to that. All words escaped her and even sarcastic remarks.

Naruto filched at her words but answer none the less, "Tomorrow," she nodded, "let me at least have today with both of them in my arms. Today is all that I'm asking for."

"Where would you like to go?" She asked making sure that he would get there; by whatever means necessary.

"To the dock that was where me and Sasuke first met…"

**End**

Okay so now ya'll know why the child _had _to die…

Well you caught me he coulda lived and I coulda made this happy, but again I suck at writing happy…so unless all of you all wanted a semi-suckish story then boo me all you like, 'cause I don't care and only take it as constructive criticism! So HAH!

Oh and by a raise of hands who would like it if I did a vampire fic because that's the whole reason this is a week late is because I was writing the first chapter to this new story I have in my brain called 'Lust' or 'When the Beauty Is The Beast' which ever one(I need HELP! So people's tell me which one you like better) and I was wondering if I bothered at all to put it up here who would actually take the time to read it and review.

Here I'll even give you the summery so say SOMETHING!! Please please!

_From this moment forward, no one and nothing could be trusted—not even his own instincts, unless he wanted to give up his heart to the whims of another immortal…_

Yeah I know, it needs work, but I SUCK at summaries!

I'm also thinking about a RikuSora fic that would purely be for the hopelessly romantic, but that doesn't matter! I just wanted a poll to see how many people would say something if I put all of this worthless information up here!

So review for a lonely mortal…and remind her where she placed her brain…she's seemed to misplace it…but then says…"Oh well brains are for **squares**!!"


	8. See you, my love!

Eovin-Thanks for reviewing

**Eovin**-Thanks for reviewing! And he's still only a child, he's only thirteen nearing fourteen and that is why he has room to grow and to learn…so he can become cleverer.

**sasunaru-**oh yeah, lets kill off the girl so that the boy will live. Him dieing did have some significance I guess it was to have Naruto loose both of his Sasukes…nothing less nothing more…geese…

**Soulcaster**-I think that the only thing in life that should be happy go lucky are children they should have that sort of innocents that only comes once in a life time. When your young and the world is brand new…yeah but reality sometimes has to be a dosage of cold water; you know to wake people up.

**ASHLEY**-You'll see…

**sahie**-Thank you very much

**Maria S.**-Again you'll see why that couldn't be possible…

**Sasunarulover4life**-yeah okay I'll let you know, : P

**blusum-**Aw I'm sorry—Hugs—thanks for the advice on the vampy fic I'll send you a message when it's up if that's okay?

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Naruto kicked his legs lazily as he sat at the edge of the dock, two bundled up children in his arms, the balls of his feet skimming over the top of the water that reflected the setting sun that he was mindlessly staring into. The town was quiet and still, silenced by the strangling grip of death that had kissed Naruto baby boy and sucked the breath from him before he even had a chance to be fully alive.

"Sasuke…" Naruto spoke, slowly picturing the ravens face in the wavering waves directly below him. That guy's familiar smirk, his sapphire eyes filled with so many secrets and even more lies. The very same boy the Naruto loved with all of his heart—at least what was left of it—he would've given everything away in his name and now Naruto had nothing left for the older boy to take.

How his heart ached and had a misunderstood deep longing for the raven to sprout from the water like a reed and wrap around the blonde and their children as if he were soggy pieces of boy shaped kelp. Kiss his face and cheeks like the wind or the chill of the morning breeze. How he missed the raven and wished that suddenly one of the birds would swoop down from the clouds high in the sky, where Naruto could not reach, except it would be a bird at all; it would be Sasuke. Naruto would at least get to see him one last time when he knew it wasn't just he flawed imagination. That was all that he really wanted.

Naruto shook his head from side to side at the mere reflection; if only Sasuke could touch him on the cheek or the back of his hand for only a moment. A silent whisper of the raven's voice on the wind. To be only a shell, a ghost, a boarder lining outline to be by his side for a slight sliver of time then be carried away by some unknown force. If only he could have that little comfort, he wouldn't have asked for anything more knowing that he did not deserve even that much; but still even a monster had dreams.

He blinked. This was not what he had come here for. He hadn't asked to come and then wallow in his self pity; in the fact that Sasuke was gone (he was gone; there was no getting around that. Naruto couldn't close his eyes, couldn't stop his ears and expect it all to come back to him when he opened himself back to the world, it wouldn't that way. No matter how many people willed it to.) Not coming here to wish on what he could no longer have; no it wasn't for any of that.

No, Naruto had something to say.

"Sasuke…" he started again, grasping for the words. "Our sons dead…" he said bleakly, chocking on the truth of the sentence as it left his mouth. A giant lump had materialized in his thought, like when one knows that their so incredibly in love and they can't do or say anything about it. He could've sworn that someone had continuously gabbed cotton swabs at his adams apple until they made sure that he was bleeding and in very much pain.

He tried clearing his thought, "I wanted someone to blame at first, you know? I wanted to push the faults onto someone else; it would be easier for me to deal with it that way. Make it someone else's penance to pay for killing him. I first turned to Kyubbi. She was the reason that I even had the opportunity opened up to me to be able to get pregnant and because of that my own body rejected my children; one ending in a still birth. I cursed her before, but now it was ten fold what it was then. I was unbelievably angry at her; at everything. If only she had given them some of her chakra, if only she had destroyed me and saved them.—sigh—but I understand that she was giving she _was _giving them _all _of her chakra, and she had no chakra left. Her chakra was the sole basis of the womb where they were born inside of me. She was why my babies got fed and even lived in the first place. It was her egg in coated in my DNA that made them even possible. And the pregnancy was taking the same toll on her strength as it was on mine. So the place of blame could not be hers. I wish that it was. I don't think that it would be as hard. The pain not as great if I could find someone to blame."

Naruto pursed his lips. "Then, I wanted to do the same to Tsunade…she's a legendary Saning (okay…Sp) after all, couldn't she have made up some sort of Jitsu to bring my boy back to life. I know that she could've, she's strong enough for and has enough experience to do so…but I know that her brother and her lover died right in front of her and there was nothing that she could do no matter how much she wanted to. So, why should she have done that for me when she wasn't able to do that for herself. I also asked her about it and she said that it consists of trading one soul for another, one can't just give part of their lives for another life, someone has to give it all; and even then it's dangerous and bound to fail. And who was to be the test subject, the sacrifice for my baby, except for me. Then my daughter would be without both parents and of you ever did come back we couldn't…I just…so yeah. And besides Tsunade is pretty great at what she does, she managed to save Hajime the most beautiful baby girl in the whole world." He smiled down at the little girl in the comfort of the left hitch of his arm. "So I guess it can't be her fault…"

"Then, after her, I went to myself. I could've been stronger for my children. I could've been more cautious, I _should've _been more cautious. Realizing that I would've hurt them, which I ended up doing any way; every one says that everything is all my fault. Why didn't I listen to them Sasuke, Why? If I hadn't been so worked up over nothing. I already knew that Kiba will forever be an asshole—seriously I don't get what Neji sees in that boy. I just let my hormones get the best of me and I yelled and thrashed, putting my children at risk. And they were the things that I wanted the most, besides you, of course." He shook his head to clear away all of the bad memories; he couldn't go back, not now, not ever. No one had the ability to go back in time, and no one ever should. "If I had been more tedious in taking care of myself instead of relying on others, wasn't it me who always took pride in being strong? And is I was not so much of a dobe like you always said. I was never wise, and I never will be, but I should have been the least bit clever. I can't change anything now, there's nothing that can help me get back to hat point in time. No amount of chakra can open a portal in the very fabric of the space time continuum. It I could…" he trailed off sighing not know exactly how he should end such a sentence.

"After that, which it's not really over I will always partly blame myself for what happened and what _should have _happened, I came to…you. You should have been there to calm me down because only you can, to inject some of your chakra into my body so that I would've had that little bit of extra energy to push him out alive. I would've been a whole lot happier. I…we…could've been so happy together. I would've been tranquil and more settled down, maybe occasionally aggravated with you but you could've fixed that. I would've forgiven you. And when Kiba made that comment you could've taken care of him. When I kept trying to convince Sakura I was fat you could've said that you loved me or that I was beautiful or just anything and then it all would've been okay. You should've been here, doing or saying anything you would at least have been here, with me, with our children. You would've made it all better!" Naruto shook his head again, unable to wipe away his tears because both of his hands were occupied. So he bent over and rubbed his face on the edge of his sleeve. Sniffling a bit and then breathing slowly, his pupils ever so dilated.

He liked his lips so that he could speak again, focusing back on the unmoving reflection in the water; it only flickered a little when a small wave passed by. "But you still don't know any of this, and every moment of every single day I despise you with all that inside of me because you don't know the agony and pure self loathing of having you leave. I doubt that you are beating yourself up because of your children are dead! Who am I kidding you got what you wanted from me, and I know that that was all that you wanted, if it wasn't why didn't you leave a _note_ (hint hint) or something? You just aren't here anymore and I can't stand it when I feel so helplessly alone…like…like I used to…"

"You left me you bastard! Stupid, stupid Sasuke-teme! I mean I don't have any sort of clue to where you could've gone or who this Orochimaru person is. For all I know he could he folicly challenged, in other words bald, and yet you'd rather run off with him then stay here with me and our children…I feel, I felt" he corrected. "Like you had abandoned me for the longest time. I didn't know what to tell people and I still don't know what I should do about all of this. Its confusing when so many parts of me are all speaking at once and…and this is stupid. What the hell am I talking about?"

Naruto sighed, "I know it'll be hard, but I want to try and go it alone for a little while. You know, move out and back into my old apartment, get a job so that I can eventually buy a house and of course I might need a sitter, but then I'd have money to pay that sitter with. I'm the mom, I have to be responsible for them now and myself, I cant just be a kid anymore. I have to be strong not only for you, though I now know that you never really wanted me, but they need me…"

"Sasuke, do you remember when we first met?" Naruto paused as if asking the mirrored reflection to speak with him.

He continued after a moment feeling stupid, water can't speak. "Well, I do. It wasn't in the academy like most would think, that's even what I thought for the longest time, but no it was actually here…"

FLASHBACK

It was the summer before the children would be admitted into the academy, just one summer until they could actually start their journey to become full fledged ninja's. I was when they would jump start the rest of their lives and whatever else came with that, or at least that's what most five year olds thought at the time.

A boy hid in the green brush beside the pond, he had rocks and gravel and asphalt all in his yellow hair from having his face repeatedly rubbed in the dirt. He had multiple bandages on his arms and legs and even wrapped around his head, thanks to the kindness of a nurse passing by in the street and her medical training. She had merely walked by the assault, one particularly cruel beating that he had taken earlier that day. The older children had just kept kicking him and calling him names that he was used to hearing sworn next to his name by now. All of them being true, he was just a child who was incapable of defending himself for he had never had anybody take the time to teach him how.

Even the nurse, after she had shooed away the older boys—the damage already being done—had realized _who_, exactly, he was, had wrapped him in some of the gauze that she had on her, then, spilt like she was home free.

It's not like the child wasn't used to these kind of things and he knew that there was never any point in fighting back (they were always stronger) and he couldn't run away (they were always faster). So he sat there and he took it, even when he _couldn't _take it anymore. Still though to him this was better; it was recognition that he was alive when they wished for him to die.

So, that might have been why he had been brave that one day because he figured that he had nothing left to loose, which meant that he was empty. So he was thinking that nothing worse could happen then what had already happened that morning. Besides the boy on the dock didn't look all that intimidating and even if the raven tried to get the blonde he was pretty confident within his own abilities, he knew the even if they boy jumped him he could take him. The blonde didn't know it then, but even at five Sasuke's power, per se, greatly surpassed whatever skills Naruto thought that he had. It wasn't until later that the power roles would be reversed in this aspect of the game.

He came up slowly, creeping silently down the steep hill; the Sakura buds had just began to bloom and sat next to the raven haired boy cautiously being sure not to touch him unsure of how the boy would react if he did. Both of their faces reflected in the mirrored surface as they stared down at it.

Sasuke didn't curse at Naruto, or spit in his face or tell him in rather loud tones to go because a monster like him didn't deserve to sit there with him, like so many others had. Naruto didn't give Sasuke a tentative hello. Or wriggle his fingers shyly, or even make some sort of coughing noise to notify the other of his presence. In fact they didn't do anything, they didn't glimpse in each others general direction and neither of them spoke.

They shared a silence and it wasn't rude or unsettling like some unwelcome house guest. It was just there, comfortable and pleasing; something that felt like sacred ground between the two.

But, also while Naruto was sitting there next to the raven he worried about what the older boy knew about him, what his family had told him about the blonde. And if he knew nothing or anything at all what did he think about Naruto or what wasn't he thinking. Though he dare not ask, maybe the raven would send him away and Naruto was so tired of being alone.

They sat there for awhile. Naruto kicking his short legs over the waters surface, both staring out as the sun got lower in the sky and the thick cotton candy clouds departed into a small smoke screen of white and purple and orange (the blonde boy used to think that if he could loose himself in those deep unearthly colors the rest of the world would just disappear and his troubles finally be gone. His chains would break at the cuffs, and be free from all the hardships in the world…then reality wouldn't be knocking him out cold.)

When the sun barley dipped into the far away hills, Sasuke stood, the boards of the dock squeaking under the change of pressure, mumbling while he put his hands in his pockets.

"I've got to get back home, dinners probably ready, and my parents don't allow me to stay out past sunset…so…"

Narutos stomach twisted sharply, as if he had been stabbed in the gut with a dull knife. Almost like his insides had been pulled out through his nose, tied in itty bitty knots until they could not function, then stuck back out of order so that he was all jumbled. It was sort of like being broken and then kissed for your effort, because you had heart. The blonde boy didn't want him to go.

Sasuke finally look down at the dobe, planning to shake his hand or something in a farewell. Taking a barley audible breath in, probably at the wraps around his whole entire body that still had dried up blood on them, or maybe because when the sun hot him just right like this he sparkled like the shimmers of light on the waters waves. _Is this what they meant when the grown ups said 'Love at first sight.'_

The raven kneeled next to the boy, scrutinizing him with narrowed eyes; Naruto shrunk away stuttering and blushing. "W-what?"

"How did you get those wounds?" The older boy asked pointing a small skinny finger at the younger one. Its not like he cared or anything, but it was common courtesy to at least ask, right?

Naruto blushed harder, his hands wringing themselves in his lap as he bit his lip. "Around…" Was his vague answer.

Sasuke's eyes turned into dangerously low slits at such an answer. "Around where?" he growled. If it had been anyone else but the blonde, Sauske probably wouldn't have bothered with even saying goodbye, not even pausing to look at him, but for some reason this time he had.

He had been one once such a happy go lucky kid, before his brother had murdered the clan, he was always aspiring to be great at every single thing that he put his heart and soul into. He was rarely seen without a smile on his face, and that innocent expression his eyes that were as black as sin. Things just seemed a heel of a lot easier for them both back in there childhood years. Why do things seem too got progressively harder as one get gets older? I know that everyone feels the weight of the world on their backs at one point on their lives or another, and the air gets thicker, and the nightmares make sleep near impossible. But Sasuke had that plus that fact that he thought that he had to avenge his family.

Naruto sighed, "It doesn't matter…"

"Yes it does!" Sasuke insisted with sincerity in his voice; something that Naruto had never heard before, because it was a couple of months before he would even meets Iruka, the child's self appointed care taker.

"Some older kids beat me up," the Naruto smiled, "But its okay, it happens all the time so I'm used to it." Though Sasuke already had this look on his face (was it anger, sadness, jelocy, what was that look?) He stared down at his hands like they were foreign objects that he had just stumbled upon.

Sasuke bent over and placed his lips on the younger boys; his mom had once told him that kisses were something sacred between two people, a way to show ones affection without the use of words, that you care, but at such a young age Sasuke didn't know the sexual aspects that were in coated in a kiss, of course Naruto had no idea what that was at all.

"I'm sorry…" the raven said, and he meant it.

Naruto looked perplexed, he didn't understand. "Why?" Why would anyone feel sorry for him, everyone just found him to be a monster and much worse things then that?

Sasuke shrugged, "Isn't that what people say when they don't know what to say?"

It was Narutos turn to shrug. "I dunno…" the blonde was unsure about the raven, who was now being so nice. Why in the world would someone like him care, it just didn't make sense. Uchiha was a prestigious family; rich and every single member were viewed as a rising star, someone who would live up to do great things for extraordinary people. Being the best, and yet, Sasuke seemed to care about the worst.

"I really do have to go, though…" Sasuke leaned over and kissed him briefly before leaving quickly with a quiet, "I'll see you around."

END OF FLASHBACK

"And we did see each other around, I guess, but I dare not approach you while your parents were with you. Then your clan was brutally murdered by your bastard of a brother and I supposed we both had more important to remember then childhood huh? To tell you the truth I only just remembered this morning…sad isn't it?"

Naruto shook his head again at the water, "Sasuke, I love you; I'll always love you, no matter what you've done or what you will one day do. And I'll never give up on you…"

"But…But I have to let you go…"

END

Oh, see I CAN do fluff!

And yeah, yeah I got eight reviews this time! Read it and well be happy like me!!

Anyway I'd LOVE LOVE LOVE it if you'll review it for me! FOR ME! They keep me going I swear!


	9. Just enough

**Sasunarulover4life**-Yeah me too, I mean Sasuke is so cute…cough cough with Naruto, but yeah so yeah and thank you. You've been one of my consistent reviewers and I really just wanted to say thank you a million times over thank you. Seeing your name and all the good things you say about my story just about makes me want to shine and warms my heart, so once again thank you.

**mrk33**-I'm sorry wanna hug?

**Starlit-Knight-**I'm really sorry for screwing with your emotions, though I have to say that it was quite fun. Not that the 'End' thing was done on purpose, I'm just way to lazy to type out 'End of chapter so and so' I'm actually really surprised that I made it this far in my story, I dunno I actually really like this one. Although the chapters are kinda short that honestly bugs the crap outta me. Oh, and I almost forgot Naruto is 13 Sasuke is 14!

**Dayxxdreamer**- Thank you very much—bows—I'm honored.

**blusum**-Yeah that's not for a couple more chapters, like six more, and then Sasuke will reappear and everything will be right in the world! Yay!

**Shattered Glass Heart**-Alright lets cue the dramatic music and dance! And yeah Naruto's life isn't fair (but this begs the question whose really is?)

Just so ya'll know **Naruto's POV**

………………………………………………………………………………………………

I kept thinking that if I closed my eyes long enough, if I blocked it all out long enough, then it would leave me alone for the time being and I could be allowed the first moments of peace since the raven, my raven, had been gone. Only if I kept myself locked in the darkness for how ever long that it took then the light would have to come and find me right? Sasuke would have to come and find me, right? Without him everything seems so bleak and bland and unimportant like a dinner date gone badly or ramen without flavor. But then there's when we were together, back before we were _together_ or even had the possibility of being so, everything was colorful in such a black and white world. Where they've always been right and I've never been anything.

Hajime, my baby girl, stirs in my arms a little before wriggling around in her tiny bundle opening her eyes so that I could get a peak at that beautiful blue then closing them again and going back to sleep—I wonder what babies have to dream about? Is she missing her brother as much as I am, mourning over the loss of him? Does she feel the hole where his body used to be the very same place that he no longer is, and if she does is that connection, that link, between the two completely gone? Being brother and sister, does she long for him to come back?

I put one of my slender fingers in her tinny tiny hand, her stubby fingers barley capable of wrapping around mine. She enclosed my nail in a tight grip like she never wanted to let go because she already knew who her mommy is even when she knew little else. It made my chest swell with pride because now it feels like someone needs me; it's so nice to be needed. I'm a mommy now the person that my child will have to rely on the most and that is maybe the one title that I will never ever be ashamed to proclaim loudly; even if I am the wrong gender, even if I am a single mother.

But there is one thing that makes me feel very un-mommyish—and it's defiantly not the unyielding desire to protect my child, or rather children. It's that I can't admire my child for to long because of all the significant similarities between my baby girl and her father. I am reminded by her face, and her face alone, that as a couple, as a parent, and a person I am alone and I have to do this all by myself (I can't rely to heavily on Iruka or Sakura because this isn't their baby) and holy it hurts. I feel so horrible almost like I don't deserve such a blessing and that's because I don't.

My boy was put in the ground today…the funeral service was nice, well at least it as nice as funeral services can be or possibly can't be. There was a lot of crying, mostly the tears being my own; the clouds had darkened themselves and flashes of blue light threatening us with the possibility of a storm.

It was to quiet though, the wind and thunder had been stifled, the children been hushed by their mothers, even the sun had refused to shine today. It was a respectful gesture for the souls in the village to say goodbye to the child that none of us would ever have the chance to get to know; he could have been the next Hokage for all that we knew. But in the same sense it was almost too quiet. I wanted some sort of a disturbance to pull away from the smog of sadness to let my mind refocus itself on something else, even if I had to be the one to make it. I had hoped through the whole damn thing that Hajime would cry, but not even she had made a peep while the regular ceremonies had been held.

I had to place my son in a box, a small square box; white to show innocents I suppose. Once I stepped away and allowed them to close the lid, I went forward again and ripped it open; even though I had locked him safely away in my heart that still meant that I wouldn't be able to see him ever again. I couldn't watch him grow through the passing seasons; he would always stay the same, and very alone in a white box surrounded by clumps of sod, dirt and death; when he was supposed to stay in his mommies arms. I didn't want my children to ever feel that sense of abandonment even when I knew that my boy wasn't in that skin anymore.

Then when I had finally stood back and kind of accepted that this couldn't be the end for us; me and my son would meet again, and that was that. They lowered him into the ground then slopped on him as if only filling a hole not barring a _child, _yet they called me monster. I surprised the mother instinct inside of me to jump in after him and fish him out of that deep pit, to get him out of there, even when I was the one understood that he was way past the point of saving.

I muffled my cries of distress with my free hand; a blue baby bag strung over my left shoulder the weight almost to much to bare along with the swelling grief wandering around in my soul just now bubbling to the top to filter out of my mouth, and there was nothing I could do about it.

Feeling depressed and the all to familiar strands of broken shards of hatred with the way that they talked about my baby and me, as if they knew who he was or what he was going to become when not even I, his mother, had such a privilege. The way that they came in their flocks of white sheep to cry and smile over my black sheep babies like they really cared for an outsider, even though we had been born on the inside. To them this was just a new focal point to gossip, more reason to despise me. I could almost hear them now, for they would say the things that I had told myself when I was so angry at everything. 'That damn demon so utterly horrible, terribly bad, that he even killed his own children wait till he comes for the rest of us. He's just a disgrace, a murderer of the Uchiha blood line, what a shame.' It made me sick to the point where I felt like throwing up, because my baby's death was only a blemish on their stupid reputation.

If only I had the balls to tell them to shut there ugly ass faces.

But in the present it was the reception afterwards. My boy was gone, his head stone marked and now officially clarified as dead. This was the time that everyone gave their respects for the family members of who had passed; which just happened to be none other then me, mush to their dismay.

We sat in the far corner of the room. Sakura was on my left, Hinata on my right and Tsunade to my back. They hadn't left my side for a second, not even when I had to use the bathroom or get water to heat up so that I could make Hajime a bottle; since I didn't have the frontal chest equipment to feed her on my own.

People walked up to me, people I had never seen before, people I didn't even know, and told me that Sasuke Jr. was in a better place and that the lord was looking after him now, that Jesus had taken that poor baby boy into his arms with grace and love and wisdom. That God knew what he was doing with all of our lives and that he had a solid plan for everything. I got this speech more then once, I believe it was because they didn't know what else to say to me besides _I'm sorry_ so they tried to reassure me with their religion and their God. But I couldn't help but think, _How the fuck would you know?_ I don't do anything though but nod quietly and look down at my slumbering child who was barley a day old. I waited until they gave up and left.

Sakura would pat me on the back each time and say that they should, in her own words, _Go screw themselves,_ and I couldn't help but agree.

But the thought stuck in my head, their words did, and I was instantly angry with god. Really though, did he want to screw with my head and my life? If everything was in His plan and He only wanted the best for everyone, I had paid my price for my sins being the Kyubbi's vessel, wasn't that enough? Why had He let both Sasuke's leave? Those were the people that had led to my greatest period of happiness, and yet he had ripped them away from me. Even I had prayed but it was to a God that didn't seem to be around or to be listening; he was never around when I needed him, was he also ashamed of me?

Though it was comforting to know that my son had gone somewhere; somewhere where I could not get to, where I could not just go and brink him back.

Others came up and asked if they could hold my baby girl, commenting on how beautiful that she was and how strong she must have been to survive such a thing; being born of a demon I wasn't all to sure why they wanted to even touch her. I blatantly told them to _fuck off _any one who wasn't a part of my adopted family would not so much look at my baby without my permission.

She was mine, even if I was a real true monster, a demon come to kill them all, or whatever other names they felt they needed to call me. She was mine and no one was going to take her away from me; unless she wanted to go of her own free will but I highly doubted that that would be any time soon. I seemed over protective, sure, okay I can deal with that, but at the same time it's like whatever. It didn't matter. I was mommy; I made the rules.

After a long line of people that I didn't know, finally a sniffly nose Iruka came up to where we sat, Kakashi right on his heals. I smiled up at him through my tears and he smiled down at me through the same crying state. I had never seen either of them where full suits of black before—outside of the third's funeral—the color wasn't what they wore on a daily occurrence. Black symbolized mourning and sadness, such as darkness was mentioning death and life eclipsed. Iruka didn't really look good in the color, it didn't fit him in anyway shape or form.

"Hey-hey mommy…" he chocked out the words after a few minutes had passed of us staring each other down. Iruka had issues with death, almost as many as I did.

"Hey grandpa…" I whispered as Hinata made room so that he could sit down next to me to get a better view of my slumbering child. Kakashi stood idly in front of us biding his time by counting, with his one good eye, the ceiling tiles. Leaving me and his lover to our business. He was a lot like Sasuke in a way—though I hated how I compulsively compared everything to the raven—they were alike in some ways (except I hoped that Sasuke didn't read porn as compulsively as Kakashi did). The only thing that was a wide gapping difference between the two was that our sensei had stayed with the one that he loved and the Uchiha prodigy had gone from the one who loved him; me.

"She is so beautiful…" Iruka sniffled; clasping is hands together in his lap. Peering down at his grand baby with absolute wonder in his eyes; one would think that he, a school teacher, had never seen a child up close before.

"Yeah…" I agreed. It was the first time tonight that I hadn't ever thought the crudest words to anyone in the room who had said that to me, even if it was so incredibly true. I didn't even get so much as the tiniest bit angry or pissed off, but I had to remind myself that this was Iruka—the man who had taken the time to try and be a father figure for my sake—and not some two faced ass whose name I couldn't tell you. They were the ones that needed to go, preferably to hell but a broom closet worked just as well.

I looked up from Hajime, my baby angel, and asked, "Grandpa would you like to hold her?"

"What?" Iruka's eyes went wide with happiness, "You mean that you would let me? I've heard that you've been telling everyone who's dared to ask you tell them to mildly put 'fuck off'" he chuckled nervously.

"That's a moot point; they weren't family, you on the other hand, are."

He just about beamed with pride, "I can't believe I'm a grandpa, I thought that this day would never come." Iruka said truthfully without realizing…

I saw a look of pain in Kakashi's eye as he stopped his tile-counting and looked at his brunette longingly. I felt so bad for him; it was apparent that they couldn't have children, and that is what Iruka wanted. He wanted to be a mommy to, and Kakshi couldn't give him that, even if he really wanted to as well. The white haired porno reader knew that and probably blamed himself for it also.

I scooted closer to my father and warned, "Now watch her head…" then I carefully handed her to him. Without her though, my last bit of everything, I felt completely devoid and just wanted her back in my arms, to just snatch her back from him. But this was Iruka, I told myself again, with his soft understanding brown eyes and his friendly smile. I trusted those eyes and that smile more then I trusted what was left of me.

"Isn't she precious…" he whispered with overjoyed tears claiming his cheeks, and mine for that matter.

"I know they're my treasures, my babies…" I wiped some of my tears on the back of my sleeve; I had done enough crying for one life time thank you very much. "Hey…why don't you see if Kakashi wants to hold her?"

"Are you sure?" I nodded. "Well, okay are you coming?"

I shook my head, "Naw, I trust you, just be sure to bring her back soon okay?"

"Alright…"

I smiled maybe; finally things could finally start to look okay. Not great or even good, but okay where things are what they are and that is that, I could look up to the sun and be happy to be alive for once. Yeah, things were defiantly going to be okay…

**END OF NARUTOS POV**

"Kakashi! Kakashi, would you like to hold Hajime?" Iruka looked up hopefully at the love of his life, smiling a bit at him, hoping to God that Kakashi liked children. They hadn't really ever discussed it much, it was a sore spot between the two both knowing that there wasn't any use in talking about them when Iruka couldn't have them. Kakashi had tried once, but he ended up giving up because Iruka had basically given him the cold shoulder, he wanted a baby to. A little one to call their own and Iruka didn't have a livid demon inside of him to help them out.

Kakashi lifted his hand and stroked his lover's cheek, brushing some of the tears away, then speaking through his mask. "Sure…"

Iruka smiled again, placing Kakashi's arms around the child right so that he would not drop her onto the floor. The brunette couldn't help but giggle a bit at the sight, here was Kakashi a tough ninja, one who was in almost all the books, looking very confused with a baby in his arms. Though it was all very sincere, and equally cute.

"You know…" Iruka started, unsure of what is was exactly that he wanted to say. "I've always wanted children, I think that's why went into teaching, because I grew up without parents myself. And I wanted to know what it was like to have a family…"

"Iruka…" Kakashi started, he didn't want to hear this, not now.

"No, please let me finish…I've been wanting to say this for a long time…" Iruka swallowed. "I do want children, but Kakashi I would rather be with you…"

Kakashi exhaled pulling his mask off of his lips and kissed Iruka lovingly trying to put all of his emotions into just that kiss, looking back into beautiful brown eyes and wondered how someone like him had ended up with such a great creature to love him.

Iruka read the emotion loud and clear leaning into his lover's free arm, while he put his mask back on, and that was enough. It was enough.

**End of Chapter**

Okay, I hate typing!! HATE IT!! But whatever…I don't like this much, but I wanted to see if I could pull off a first person chapter and factoring everything in I think I did okay! But still in a way it SUCKS! But that's okay; I kinda think the end was cute…

Anyway…I need inspiration and I'm tuning to you. How do you think that Sasuke should come back, I mean how it should happen? Should Naruto immediately open back up to him, or should he be a little distant considering Naruto thinks that he's going to leave again without saying goodbye? Or what? I'd love to hear from you, it would really make my day! Love always!


	10. Home, Bitter Sweet, Home

THANKS TO ALL REVIEWERS I'M TAKING EVERYONES ADVICE IN ONE WAY OR ANOUTHER!

Oh and I'm still grounded, much to my own displeasure, this is called sneak typing which I'm not allowed to be doing so if I get caught I'm in some major trouble…yeah well okay!

Oh…Naruto is 14 now and Hajime is ten months old!

(Insert border line here)

"I want this one." said Naruto solidly. He stood in front of a spacious window that had a seating area that was adorned with deep brown cushions so that the blonde boy would be able to sit with a bowl of ramen and long for someone who he was very dependent on for his own survival to come home. It was close enough to the Konoha entry gate so that he was able to see exactly who was coming or going at any exact moment of the day. The sun was beating down hard on the snow outside through the window pane casting strange mischievous shadows onto his face.

"Mommy!" squealed Hajime despite the fact that she had a pacifier in her mouth. She had been, a mere three to four seconds ago, contently resting in her grandfathers arms.

Naruto's eyes lit up, turning from the window that he loved so dearly; he loved it because if Sasuke ever did decide to come back from where ever it was that he had run off to the blonde boy would be one of the first people in the whole village to know, and that would give him more time to figure out what is was that he wanted to do.

He walked quickly over the thick multicolored carpet to get to Iruka who was only a few paces away from him. Immediately sliding Hajime out of her grandfather's arms, who was still a head and a neck taller the Naruto, and into his own. Wrapping a motherly arm around his daughter's waist after setting her on his right hip. He pressed his lips delicately to her nose before she latched onto him and set her head on his shoulder, all the while sucking vigorously on her pacifier.

The blonde child had learned all that he could about raising a baby as a teenage single mother; he had spent day after day looking for book upon CD about when things happened, how they would happen. Then he had managed to gain a round about understanding of the business of how his child would grow up (no part of these first ten months of him being a mother was in any of those books. Children, unfortunately, were not manufactured with an owner's manual or a limitless warranty.) So he had stopped trying to guess the future to relish his baby now before all of those memories he could have made were wasted.

Though there was one thing that Naruto wanted his baby ay all times to never question and understand was that she was and always would be loved especially by her mom. She was loved by a whole village of people and had a selective place to call her home and in this aspect forever had no bounds. Unlike him, she had a family who was there to lift her up to the heaven, and when she sprouted her wings to cheer her when she would fly. That is why he would tell her that he loved her over and over again, enjoyed cuddling with her no matter what they were doing, he kissed her fingertips and her toes her belly button and her nose. He only wished that he was able to give Hajime another sibling; a second little brother or sister that way she could have everything that Naruto had wished for so passionately.

It had been so _hard _but Naruto had figured that nothing in this life worth something was ever easy. He harbored slight bags under his eyes from having to wake up every so often during the night, because Hajime was hungry, or needed a bottle, or needed a diaper change, or wished for some company or when he had to coax her from a seemingly bad dream. It had been difficult, really difficult considering it would have been easier if the child's father had stuck around, to at least, at the very least say goodbye. But Hajime was one of the lucky ones who was worth it; he would've shot the older boy himself if he had to chose whether the boy he loved or his daughter had to live (not that he ever would he hoped.).

He had moved into his old apartment soon after his baby was born. Iruka, of course, had advised him to stay.

**Flashback**

Iruka was standing firm his foot itching to be stamped crudely and harshly down onto the floor. "For god sakes, Naruto, your only thirteen and have a baby you are not ready to be alone on this."

Naruto looked up from his child briefly who was staring blankly up at the Uchiha seal mobile Naruto had found and hung over her crib. "Iruka I'm going with your blessing or without it!" He whispered. He was just as stubborn as Iruka, and Iruka had no one to blame but himself for that. "And, for your information, I'm almost fourteen!"

"Oh, that's makes everything better knowing that your fourteenth birthday is only five months off! I'm telling you that you are not going to be able to do this all by yourself, and you shouldn't have to…. You're my son and she is my grand baby just stay a little while longer, a month or so, please." He begged.

Naruto was almost tempted by the offer; he twitched his fingers nervously thinking it over. Iruka did make sense, though Naruto hated to admit that, what could one more month hurt? Naruto shut his eyes tight trying to block out the words, if only thoughts could be taken back, like as soon as they were out fly straight back in. He knew what it would eventually hurt…his relationship with his daughter is what would be flushed down the tubes because if Naruto stayed another month, he would stay forever. Iruka would gladly take Hajime off of Naruto's hands and he would leave all of this baby business behind him for the life he would have had before she was even conceived. It made his heart break into tinier pieces to think that he could ever walk away from such a helpless being, one that _needed _him. But he knew, without a shadow of doubt, that that is the way that this would work even if he stayed for a time period that seemed so short.

"No…"

Iruka's eyes got sad and weepy at the fact that the child he had always tried so hard to be a good father for felt like he was so utterly alone when he wasn't; not anymore. Hajime was a baby who needed constant care and attention, but Naruto was just a baby too.

**End of da minor flashback**

Naruto swayed his baby from side to side humming a soft lullaby in her ear. Her eyes dropping as she was ready to fall fast asleep, the suck on her pacifier came to halt and it hung lazily on her bottom teeth. Naruto fished out her baby blanket in the lovely blue bag that had been pack and un-packed a million and six times; it was still on his fathers shoulder. Naruto wrapped the blanket around his baby, making sure she was warm and cozy while she went to sleep all the while keeping up a steady soft hum into her raven colored hair.

"Where'd you learn that song?" Whispered Iruka so that he would not disturb Hajime from her sleep. "I've never heard it before…" He shifted the blue bag behind him so that it was no longer in the way.

His steady rhythm suddenly then picked back up one of his small hands running through his daughters a sort of undefined sadness in his eyes as he stared blankly down at the floor. He smiled a closed lip smile and spoke softly. "Sasuke thought it to me when we were on a mission once, back before…. He said that it was one his mother had sung to him when he was really little." He shrugged. "It's the only one that Hajime likes…so…"

"Oh, Naruto, I'm…"

Naruto turned back to the window staring out at the Konoha gates again with a misunderstood deep longing for his own heart to suddenly to come bursting from those gates and find him. Just to come back to him so that he wouldn't feel such a gaping hole in his chest and he could find his happiness and become complete instead of this fake shell that he put on for his daughter and for Iruka.

"I want this one!" He repeated, as he studied the unfamiliar faces outside of his window passing outside, none of them even being close to what he had hoped would be there. He closed his eyes…remembering…though his mind told him that it was a bad idea.

Sasuke had always been there for Naruto when he had fallen sometimes with a smirk of superiority or a positively nasty remark but always had a hand out to pull him back to his feet again giving him a second try. The raven was his partner, he was sure of it, in battle and in love—Sakura had said once that they were a perfect match so Naruto couldn't help but wonder what he had done so very wrong to make Sasuke leave him. Had he not been good enough in bed…is that what had pushed Sasuke away?

Iruka put a friendly hand on the boys shoulder. Naruto tried his hardest not to flinch away from his own father as he tried to comfort him—but these days he really didn't like to be touched.

"Why don't we look at the rest of the house before you make up your mind, okay?" The brunette squeezed his son close to the side of his chest before stepping away knowing that Naruto wasn't really ready to have physical contact with other human beings besides his own children. After the scaring ordeal of giving birth to a baby born dead and one that had made it out alive; it had been difficult to push past that hurt to take care of his live child. Difficult couldn't even possibly express the severity of such a double edged sword situation, especially without the one whose flesh and blood was also uncoated in those children.

The blonde smiled, "Yeah sure," even though because of the wonderful view the rest of the house could've been compared to shit and shit would've won the day and Naruto still would've claimed that this was the house for him. Luckily the rest of the house was hardly shit; not even close.

There was a living room that would accommodate a sideways couch so very perfectly and also a large plasma screen over the cozy stone shelled fire place that would light up this room with a romantic glow—to bad it would never be used that way; how great would it be to make love in front of it. The carpet was multicolored and probably was able to hide stains easily even ones as gross to get out as throw up, spaghetti, and even blood.

A dinning room connected to the living room and to the kitchen, on the same wall. The floor was pergo the color was a deep kind of mahogany that was beautiful but also durable—which was good, really good. The walls were light beige finished off with a thin straight trim the same color as the floor that wrapped completely around the whole room. It was a lovely space that had window after window to light up the whole room with ray upon ray of the glorious sunshine or moonlight. And there was artificial lighting, too, a crystal chandelier pegged right in the middle of the ceiling. With a table and some chairs, not to mention a high chair, they would be set to have life in that room; Naruto could almost taste the first thanksgiving that he would spend here with family all around him. Clanking forks on plates filled with turkey and sweet potatoes mixed in with the sound of bad jokes and drunken laughter…to Naruto that was heaven here on earth.

Through the swinging door, which was on the left side of a wall that separated the living room and this room, you came to the kitchen. It had built in stainless steal microwave over an electric stove that could boil water in less than sixty seconds. The double door refrigerator and a separate space for the freezer at the very bottom plus a water and an ice dispenser in the door (Oh fancy). There was a dishwasher and a trash compactor. The counter tops were tan marble and Naruto would have his island in the middle that also served as a bar. Two door cabinets with drawers and running water, the works!

The bathroom was nothing special it had a separate bath and shower that sat on a white tiled floor (_little white boxes_) a royal thrown for whoever's kingly dairy air.

There were three relatively large bedrooms and a great back yard that practically yearned for a swimming pool, but not until Hajime was older.

"What's the third bedroom going to be used for?" Iruka asked somewhat skeptically. He was still dead set on Naruto and his daughter coming back to live with him and Kakashi. Knowing full well that his son wouldn't go for it, already having been independent into the month of November; nine months on his own, but he had to at least give it some sort of a shot, right? Damn straight, his pride wouldn't let it go.

"A guest bedroom, Iruka, that way when we come to visit _our_ son we will have a place to, uh, _sleep._" Kakashi said to a feisty Iruka which in all retro specked was making him horny and if they were at home right now…well his pants were tight enough he need not think of all the things he could do to help release all of his lovers pent up frustrations. Although that is what he had been doing almost every single night…because of which a very strange thing happened; he had no need of his little orange book when he could have sex on the spot with the man that he loved and who loved him back.

Kakashi wrapped his arms around Iruka's shoulders from behind breathing heavily into his right ear (Iruka knew exactly what that meant, not much sleep and a tough time walking in the morning.). "Right, Naruto?"

"Huh?" Naruto looked up from the game of patty cake with a smiley Hajime who had just woken up from her nap and was now sitting up on her blanket with her mother on the floor. "Yeah, sure, whatever." He finished lifting up his daughter's shirt to blow raspberries on her belly button and she just laughed and laughed…what a happy child that she would turn out to be.

"See…"

"Naruto are you sure that this is the one that you want?" Iruka lifted an eyebrow his arms still crossed praying that the boy would say no and then he would at least have another day to pound some sense into what they all hoped was under that mass of blonde hair.

Blondie looked towards the window for a fraction of a second before turning his attention back to his raven haired sweetheart who was cutely gnawing on a purple wooden J block but not before Iruka caught that look and wanted to say something, anything, about it. About how Sasuke wasn't coming back and even though Naruto did love him so very much and Iruka's heart hurt for himhe needed to leave the past and delve into the present with his daughter so that he could lead her towards a bright future. But Iruka couldn't, he knew what it was like to be away from the man that he loved at any given time.

Two months, that was all that Iruka could handle. If any of Kakashi's missions were longer then that the brunette would laps into a deadly silence where one couldn't even tell if he was breathing. So that maybe Kakashi would turn it down. For Iruka, no matter the pay, he did; he always did.

"Yeah, it's sure got all the bells and whistles. It's everything that I had always dreamt of having." If only he was a little older. If only Sasuke (both of them) were here to see and live in such a house with Naruto and maybe, one day, they would all be able to call it home.

Iruka closed his eyes with a long exaggerated sigh; he leaned into Kakashi's chest enjoying the warmth he found there. It was a simple comfort, but hell, it sure was nice.

"I guess, I'll call the retaliator and see what small fortune we will have to pay for this house…"

"Money isn't an issue." Naruto stated, never looking away from Hajime or letting that goofy face for his daughter fade not for even a second.

Iruka's head snapped up, almost hitting Kakashi in the chin. "What are you talking about?" Money not an issue? Puh-lease, money was always an issue. That damn green paper made the whole world go around, sad but so true.

Naruto got his wallet out of his back pocket and pulled out a platinum credit card with his name on it then handed it to Iruka. "See money isn't an issue."

"Oh shiny," Was Kakashi's input.

"Where'd you get this?"

Naruto shrugged. "Tsunade-baa-chan gave it to me."

"This is an Uchiha credit card! You can't use this. It's stealing!" He outraged.

"It's not stealing, per say." Said Kakashi.

"Then what is it, wise guy?"

Kakashi snorted. "Child support, duh?"

**End of chapter ten**

Okay, so I let one of my friends who basically got me into this whole yaoi thing (although I discovered Sasunaru all by myself) anyways, she was all 'cant you switch it around so that theres more Narusasu in it then Sasunaru' I snatched my story from her then and shunned her from my life! Because for real how in the world does Naruto seem more dominant? Come on? Anybody?

Okay one, he's more girly. Two, he's short. Three, he likes to be taken care of. Four, he's like total girl beautiful. Five, I like him as an Uke. So Nhh!

And Sasuke is all dominating and mine and he is very protecting and has all that damn pride so that he would never allow Naruto to be dominant not even once!

So if you people ask me for Narusasu I will cuss you out. That is fair warning!

But please don't let that stop you from reviewing! If you like please review! I'll take anything (except narusasu shit) I want to hear your suggestions and input! So please! Here I am begging!

Sorry but I had to say so! So um I'll see you next chapter. All my love!


	11. Part One: The Raven

**mrk33**—yeah that's what I was trying to do. Make it seem like he was really letting Sasuke go but at the same time trying to hold on to the lovely idea that he was going to come back for Naruto. So I think that I pulled it off pretty well. Do you?

**Joni-Lee**—Of course he's coming back the whole story is based around the distant thought that he's coming back and how they are going to tell him about all about…well everything.

**Hunter Hatake and Neko Uchiha**—Thanks it means a lot.

**Lanie12777**—Yes Sasunaru is the bomb! I love it so much! Woohoo!

**blusum—**Well I figured since Sasuke's rich and everything he wouldn't mind if a few hundred thousand dollars went missing…right?

**Gaara'sLuver1—**Yes, it is really sad when the baby dies but I thought that…well it added a couple story's to the chapter more plot and plus think about when Naruto had to tell Sasuke about both the babies. I guess that's why I did it, I guess.

**greeneboy313**—I'm sorry that you didn't like it.

**Sasunarulover4life**—Thanks you all of my love!

Okay…just so you all know this chapter was really difficult for me to write because I didn't know how I wanted to introduce this character (maybe back into the story maybe not. Muahahahaha!) and also to talk about the holiday and stuff that was going on…I just hope that's its not boring…Eh? Anyway Read and review please!

—Insert some sort of border line here—

Naruto crept up slowly to Hajime's crib, her Uchiha clan symbol mobile making a soft jingle from where it was set above her. She was sleeping soundlessly flipped over from the position the blonde boy had originally laid her in and now on her stomach with her arms tucked underneath her. Her covers had been strewn to the other end of the bed, but in such a way that she was still holding onto the end of it. She usually just wore a diaper to sleep on account of how hot she seemed to get after it got dark. The eleven month olds hair was getting longer every day at this point in time; it was now cute curls just beneath her ears.

The blonde boy tippy toed up quietly leaning over the white railing so that he could properly hover over and admire his child at the same time. He tucked some of her hair behind her ear a small loving smile gracing his face for a moment until it was lost in a kiss implanted on his daughter's cheek. Hajime woke up briefly giving Naruto a surprised blank stare, then realizing that it was just her insomniac of a mother rolling her head to the other side and went back to sleep.

Motherhood, oh the joy of it, especially when Naruto was wide awake and even ready to give her all of the attention that he could spare she would just sleep the day away. Then whenever the blonde boy wanted just one morning to pass out until at least nine A.M., it was that day that she chose to be awake at the wee hours in the morning craving her mothers care.

Sometimes it was frustrating being a mother of someone who relied so dearly and solely in the blonde especially when she cried and cried and Naruto didn't know what to do; but that was the way that Naruto wanted it. He needed her to only need him to keep them both alive for the time being as the young boys nightmares grew increasingly worse. A couple more nights of this and he would be completely drained, running negative to the statement which was empty.

God, the nightmares; or actually it was only one nightmare that haunted him but it was played out in so many different ways. It was so very vindictive of life to make him feel like he was always going to be the failure, the monster, and the problem. His dream was him getting angry or just a little to frustrated or sometimes just making an asinine mistake and in the process killing the only tangible thing keeping him alive; his own baby.

What if one day he got tiered, to tiered to hold her up anymore and he dropped her? That fall would have meant the difference between death and permanent brain damage for someone as small as her.

What if he turned away for a minute to get something from under the bathroom sink and when he turned back, a matter of seconds have passed, and her head would be lolling under the slight amount of bath water…and what if he was to late in saving her like he had been to late in saving himself?

Naruto had bad luck and fate seemed to like to play sick jokes on him when he had already had so many bad things happen to him. He had done and would do anything that he could do to prevent anything like that to ever in any sort of fashion come true. Not even knowing if anything like that was going to…was somehow going to go horribly wrong, but he never wanted it to because if it did Naruto would have no way to reverse it.

He stared down at her affectionately smiling lightly once more although there was a distant hurt in his eyes. A distinct hurt because of those awful nightmares that plagued his thoughts whether he was awake or asleep at night. Then there was another different kind of agony built off of that one and that was his lack of companionship—that space in his heart specifically for his _best friend _to fill. His house was large after all (don't get him wrong it was lovely in all aspects) but it was…empty. Every time he came here it reminded him of how terribly alone that he was…or he felt that he was.

The blonde boy left as quietly as he came pausing slightly at the door gazing at his slumbering children that same smile on his lips and that same pain in his eyes as he whispered, "Merry Christmas…" Before stealing into the kitchen and it was like he hadn't gone into her room in the first place.

Naruto made himself a mug brimming with steamy hot chocolate; there were two full gallons of eggnog in the fridge but he would break into those later when his family arrived to celebrate this almost very merry Christmas day—though something was still missing for the blonde child and he knew exactly what that was…. And on this day he would finally get to introduce Santa clause into his almost year old daughters life. A jolly round old man in a fluffy red suit who brought good little boys and girls their hearts desires on Christmas morning. A guy who ate your cookies and who lived up in the north pole with all his toy making elves and he was a man who made one night magical. It wasn't the kind of magic that one could find in a performers hat or a kit of some sort but it was the kind that you had to _believe _in to make work.

He took a small sip of his cocoa so that it wouldn't spill onto the floor as he walked slowly, deliberately to the window; the sole reason he had even bought such a house, the window and of course the view that came with it. Setting his mug on the sill then he sat himself on the halve rounded benches his short legs out in front of him—it was a sight of ramen bowl imprinted pajama pants. Then he took his drink back into his hands and crossed his feet.

Naruto could sit in this very spot for hours on end that is when Hajime was asleep safely in her crib or Hajime was being cared for by Iruka or one of her other many family members and in these moments didn't need her mother right there. The blonde didn't really search for the love of his life anymore seeing no point to it, not anymore. He sat in this spot hiding behind this shelter of this windowpane and waited for the raven to find him; sometimes he was with his thoughts and other times without them. Each time he never got his hopes up because every second of every day he saw and knew that Hajime was growing up and Sasuke was missing this; if only he could see how beautiful that she was. He was angry and disappointed and frustrated with the raven for not even knowing of his own flesh and blood's existence.

Yeah, at one point it had been a heart numbing kind of pain, the kind that he had tried to run away from then slammed into because it had never really lost its grip on him in the first place. But now it was just a dull ache that he lived beside where the agony had faded but it had never quite gone away….

Naruto closed his eyes for a naked moment; he still had it though, even when he tried to cover it up and forget about it, he still had that _love _for his raven. And he still had the memories. He had chosen to build walls around that place, to tuck that small part of him that still made him Naruto away; where the abuse and the betrayal never could quite touch. That was where his love for Sasuke and the times that they shared were stored. Dusty old crates the might have been locked up inside of him, some happy, most sad but they were the things that he would keep with him always. Neither human hands nor demon will could penetrate there and take all of that far away.

Sighing he opened his eyes and continued to stare at the glass not consciously sure if he was looking at the window or what he hoped lied beyond it.

The village was absolutely breath taking this time of the year; people decorated every square inch with lights and props and streamers of red and green. It was the one time of the year where almost everyone got together and believed in miracles through prayer and through the magic; that made it separate from anything else. People sung together, ate together, they opened their hearts and homes to those who were less fortunate while also selfishly buying presents with money they didn't have on things they didn't need for themselves.

Naruto hadn't ever really celebrated Christmas apart from a few shed tears over his morning bowl of ramen; his one and only present to himself over the years. But not this year, this year things were going to be different. Naruto had a mission for this to be his best holiday ever; he wasn't going to stop at anything to make sure that this was the best that it could be; putting out all of the stops. He had bought lights and little arts and crafts and ornaments and a beautiful porcelain angel with golden curls and the face of perfection to sit atop an eight foot tree. When the blonde boy took a deep breath in he smelled cinnamon and the holly and all throughout this he could actually _feel _the magic pooling in his own heart.

That's why he had invited his whole adopted family to come and help him celebration of this day for himself and for his wonderful daughter. He wanted his large house to be packed with happy drunken faces, joyous music, and the opening of freshly wrapped presents that were wrapped with thoughts of that person and love.

Everyone would come and be merry and everything would be like a fantastic dream come true. Hajime would smile and smile. His daughters rosy cheeked laughter was Naruto being made whole for that split second she was happy. And at the end of this blessed night he would rock her tiny body to sleep to his own favorite Christmas jingle and her grandmother's song.

This was the second red and green holiday that they would be spending in Sasuke absents from the village to go god knows where but not before knocking the blonde boy up. But that first Christmas Naruto had been six months pregnant and it was still way too early for him to celebrate anything without knowing that Sasuke was out there some where safe and that he had a good ass reason for doing what he had done. Last year had left a more promising scar on the huge crater in his soul…leaving him with a blank mask and a fake smile he himself finding no true emotion to put there.

Naruto closed his eyes once more; it was all that he could do to keep himself from crying. That stupid salt water running fresh over his whiskered cheeks that showed how pathetic the blonde boy really was—how gullible and even _easy _that he was—he wouldn't even let one tear out because if he did then the flood gate of emotions would open up and he would never be able to get that first tear back. And they would all slowly painfully bleed from his mouth, from his eyes, from his heart. He couldn't let that happen, not here, not in a time that he was supposed to be happy solely based on what today was; but to Naruto today was just another day without the one he loved, and him trying to make the best of that.

But he had to go on; he had to be strong for his daughter even if he was still just a child. Iruka was right in every aspect, Naruto knew this though he hated to admit it, he was still a kid bent on childish dreams of the future.

Naruto put his mug down on the floor next to him placing his palm on the frigid glass tingling his fingers and opened his eyes again the tears almost spilling over. And for brief seconds he saw the love of his whole entire existence walk through those gates and he could imagine Sasuke having no other reason for coming back then to find Naruto and love him far after death—to take Naruto into his arms just for the sake of holding him. How they would tell him about their daughter and about their boy didn't matter for the moment. Naruto could imagine how sweet the reunion would be…

…and then his time was up and the blonde child came crashing down into the cruel reality. When Sasuke did come back he would bring the bittersweet memories and Naruto would have to remember how angry he was at the bastard for everything he had ever done to make him hurt the way he did when he allowed himself to feel the pain.

But at this time he had fallen prey to it. He leaned his forehead on the glass next to his hand and he cried, he cried and it was not a release for he just could not let it go. The tears ran over his whiskers and his cheeks burnt with shame.

'_Child' _His thoughts taunted him. _'Weak little child.' _

_Ding-dong _

The ringing in his ears wouldn't go away and he was forced to look away from the snow drift and he realized that he had indeed been sitting there for hours and that Hajime would be waking up soon. But first things first who the hell was at the door at this time in the morning, if that person woke up Hajime Naruto was going to be ticked.

He looked back at the glass bringing his hand to his chest where his heart had long since gone from to fist it there. "Merry Christmas Sasuke…"

The door bell sounded again and Naruto got up and practically ran to the door but not before wiping his eyes of all of those depressing little wet things. And if this prick rang the doorbell one more time when normal people were supposed to be asleep then Naruto was going to leave a pretty dent in their face.

Naruto threw open the door to greet a perfect stranger and even though this guy was way taller then Naruto he felt like beating his head into the ground.

…wait…black hair? Black eyes? Tall? Sasuke?

Naruto couldn't believe it! Sasuke had come back to find him even after all of this time had passed, almost two years and finally the raven haired boy was home. Naruto had never given up on this day, he had never really let his love for the boys go, and this was the sweetest moment so far. He was _back_ and this time Naruto would make sure that he would never leave him alone ever again. And in this one life post phoning second it was just like he'd always imagined only so much…better. Indescribable, even. This wasn't just time going by, it was a moment frozen so Naruto could get his full view of it and relish it all while it was happening.

Naruto was just about to jump on him when the raven said, "Hey can I come in I swear my penis is about to freeze and fall off?"

It was like a good slap I the face as Naruto looked at him stunned…he had never realized that it had been this cold before.

The blonde boy looked closer through his painted picture of his raven but then he knew because the face was all wrong, everything was all wrong with this man because he. was. not. Sasuke…. The hair was to short and too black; Sasuke's hair had resembled a ducks butt and turned blue sometimes in the light. This mans eyes were to happy to carefree; Sasuke's eyes had that far away glaze sometimes when he was thinking about his past and they were as flat as two wet black stones in his sockets…except on the rare occasion when the blonde boy managed to make him smile. And his voice was not the deep soothing one that Sasuke had once whispered Naruto's name so passionately with.

Naruto had gotten his hopes up…again, this man was not Sasuke and it was like him leaving all over again when he now knew that his raven had not come home to him, was not searching for him, and did not want him. Naruto had been waiting for nothing. He had been hoping all this time on the solid foundation of nothing. His wishes were only questions, and his dreams were only sleep. -1-

How many times could Naruto fool himself into thinking that Sasuke would magically appear one day on his doorstep and he would be able to suddenly forget all the hurt that he had caused the blonde boy and take him back, if he wanted to be taken at all? How many times could Naruto even have the slightest thought that the raven returned any of his feelings and loved him…and only wanted to come back to Naruto?

What they had shared that night had not been love it had been sex nothing more, nothing more to Sasuke but practically everything to Naruto.

Too many times…

"Hey, kid?" Naruto gave him a sharp glare.

"You…?" Naruto growled darkly, "What's your name?"

"Sai…"

And with that Naruto opened him home to a complete stranger, one who had given him such hope and then despair….it was Christmas after all but if the man talked that dirty around his daughter it was off with his head.

**End of chapter eleven**

-1- Okay you know the wishes were only questions, dreams were only sleep bit that was in one of my poems for you peoples information.

Oh and I was listening to 'I will always love you' by Whitney Houston and it made me sad.

I'm sorry about this chapter but please let me know if you think its sad enough because I wanted to add some drama but I think that maybe the build to it was a little to long and like droning because I feel like I say the same thing over and over again but I don't know maybe that's just me. Oh and what I said about Sasuke not loving Naruto is just what is running through Naruto's head and is not, by any means, true! Okay just had to let you know.

Oh and I should warn you people there will be some Sainaru but its one sided Naruto loves Sasuke, not Sai. But I had to Sai is a very important character!

So does anyone else notice how I usually put Hajime to sleep? Either she is sleeping or falls asleep. But don't worry the next chapter is the party and I'm going to have her awake and things I just don't know what babies are really like…so yeah I'm kinda screwed but that's alright I'll pull it off somehow.

Yeah well all my love, all those who have read here's a cookie! All those who review will get my eternal undying love and plus two cookies what a deal, just give me a heads up saying that you thought my story was cool or sucked or the grammar is so terrible or my writings immature. Give me feed back I wanna know what you people think about it. So here I am begging again!

WOOHOO! Love you all uber much! See you next chapter!


	12. The Wrong Raven

NaTsUkO-ChAn—Sorry if he seems even more out or character 'cause I tried to go and look him up to get his personality right an

**NaTsUkO-ChAn**—Sorry if he seems even more out or character 'cause I tried to go and look him up to get his personality right and I think I just succeeded in making fun of his character…oh well…

**blusum**—I really am sorry I just really enjoy drama. And two, count 'em TWO chapters before the beloved Sasuke comes back and everything is alright again…sort of!

**Sasunarulover4life**—I like what you said—sniffles—but I only got four reviews on that chapter no love for me! Anyway no you don't get two cookies…you get three because you read the chapter (one cookie) and then you reviewed (two cookies!) so that's three! Math can be fun sometimes!

**BrokenBloodDrops— —**pulls out own spiffy butter knife—Have at thee! —charges/battles— Yay! Butter knife wars! I love you for reviewing, and for your neato butter knife skills!

I'm really sorry this chapter is so late I feel like such a loser for not updating sooner but I've had all these sudden ideas for more fan fictions (like six new stories that only have the first chapter or prologue written) so I'm really sorry! So to make it up to you people I made this chapter really long!

Naruto led the strange man into his house; the man whose name had been appointed to Sai, no last name or even middle just…Sai…. Maybe he had a multiple personality disorder and Sai was just who this shell of a person was on Tuesdays. Though if anyone had a multiple personality disorder it would be Naruto who actually had two different souls taking residence inside of him—one of them was bound by the seal on his stomach and the other by his own skin. Oh well, Naruto didn't have to deal with the weirdo much longer, just until Tsunade showed up and then poof—of course not really _poof—_he would be out of his life, and more importantly his house, forever.

"Do you want something? Tea? Water?" The blonde child asked after a moment of deciphering whether or not he should be nice to the guy who had had the audacity to bang on his door around six o' clock in the morning…even though he had already been awake.

He directed Sai to his couch and made him sit there; he complied with Naruto's request silently. He seemed distracted by how many lights that there were on the Christmas tree and all the rest around the house, the red and green reflecting in his coal black eyes. Naruto snorted mentally he wondered how long a brand new nickel would captivate his attention.

The dude looked at the blonde after a moment of processing the shorter's words. Naruto inwardly cringed when he did; it should have been illegal to have a face that so greatly resembled that of the one that he loved. His smile seemed like a façade, though, of emotions that could have been placed there, but weren't—reminding Naruto how he must have looked to those around him when emptiness was all that he felt. This man seemed like the type who had been taught to smile because it was a polite gesture to please people instead of acquiring actual happiness that was shown through exposing ones pearly whites. But this type of smile did not touch his eyes…maybe not even his brain…like it was an unconscious thing that he did because he had been doing it for so very long.

Naruto felt pity for him just because the blonde despised the guy right off of the bat didn't mean that he had such a right to even think nasty thoughts about him; after all he basically knew nothing about him. Although Naruto couldn't really find the hurt in it, it's not like he could read minds or anything else abnormal.

"Tea." Sai said not un-kindly, but not kindly either.

Naruto huffed biting back the stream of insults that he wanted to very badly to spit in his face for merely having a close enough face to that of Sasuke, but he couldn't he had to use his little legs and walk away from the temptation to change that face, so that he didn't remind him so much of the raven, with his fists. He stomped away sighing rather dramatically as if those small actions were going to create a large chasm under Sai's feet and send him down to his inevitable doom, but he really didn't wish that…it would ruin his house…

Maybe it was just because the little blonde was in a mean mood but as he put in the packet of tea stuffs in the hot water watching it change from clear to an interesting brown color he felt like spitting in it. He even started to clear his throat so that he could at least somewhat pretend that he was going to defile his drink; he could just imagine watching it swirl around as he spun it in with his silver spoon. Then he would watch Sai drink it, on the outside he would only be slightly chuckling at the thought but in his mind he would be declaring victory! He would claim the battlefield even before the battle; it was like putting up an umbrella without even the chance of rain…but what did Naruto care.

Naruto just sighed, this time softly, and continued to stir the tea halve way mindlessly, the he took the mug back into his hands and then to Sai who was still staring at the Christmas tree and the angel of perfection sitting atop it. He turned back so that he was facing forward noticing that Naruto was back and that he was looking at him with this expression on his face; one where he was trying to decide whether or not to call a mental hospital or the pound…he could probably get away with putting Kiba in a pound but what about him?

Sai smiled that smile again that aggravated the pee water out of Naruto and took the steaming tea from him as Naruto quickly warned that it was still hot. The blonde child sat in a chair that was beside the couch where Sai was planted and continued to stare at him. There was just as much in the mans eyes as there were in his smile, Naruto noted, just as much nothing as nothing was before. They did not reflect the loneliness and hunger in Naruto's eyes for something greater then what he had now. Something that was internally lifting besides his daughter and other than his family—although they did manage to give him a great amount of hope and love and support—but there still happened to be that one little piece missing, the one that Naruto was wilting away without. But in Sai there wasn't even brokenness; there didn't seem to be anything inside of him that would be able to break. No loved ones, no heart, no soul.

The blonde boy curled his hands together in his lap tearing his eyes away from the _wrong _raven to stare at them, now occasionally peaking through his bangs at the strange man, still hating him; hating him because he could not be Sasuke. He allowed his thoughts to wander, though he knew with every inch of common sense that it was a happiness threatening idea to see what wasn't really there. He let himself visualize Sasuke through this man that so greatly resembled him…but did not resemble him. The vision was no where near Sasuke's level of perfection but it was living and it was breathing and Naruto could reach out and touch _him. _How easily Sasuke fit into the area, he could just imagine how the raven would caress him and look at him and even call his name.

_I love you, Naruto. I love you. _He would whisper with the blonde and Hajime in his lap, she would have a real father then not an imaginary one. _Mommy_, she would say, _Daddy_…

His inner conscience knew that it wasn't really Sasuke; it was Sai with a mask on in Naruto's mind, the face he knew, but didn't know so well; he couldn't ever let himself forget that it wasn't real. Though he longed to loose himself in the thought that maybe this could be a very merry Christmas for him also—more so then it already would be—because here, in this world, it was not Sai who showed up at the door, Sai didn't even exist, but it was his love. And in here his love loved him the same.

He fidgeted with the hemming of his pajama shirt, his hand wringing around themselves while creating a steady tempo as he bounced one foot on the hard wood floor. Naruto was a bit anxious as he stared at the stranger finding obvious holes in his imagination so he just released it and it feel away like cobwebs filtered to the pile of so many other n_ot-real _Sasuke's muddled up in that one part of his inner being—because Sasuke was Sasuke, and Sai was not. And when it did leave his eyes he didn't feel anything just the chronicle pain that was always there, and also just a little resentment towards Sai for having such a likeness to his raven even if it really was not much.

He contemplated the pros and cons of knowing that it had not been the best of ideas to let a man whose face he did now know, and had not seen before into his house and then had allowed his heart to ache over him, but really over Sasuke. Especially since this Sai could be a member of some odd crap that wanted, not him, but the Kyubbi to bring back to their leader and sucking the demon from him. Or another scenario he could be a crazed mass axe murderer with super aids bent on world domination through blood—lots of blood—and vengeance!

His eyes flickered momentarily to the phone, was that really the best chance that he had right now at survival to see if Tsunade had any information on him coming into the village, if she did he could probably distract the man long enough to get his baby and take her away before he killed them or took him. Not really figuring in the slight possibility that he could beat him or kill him because that would take to much time; a clone would probably work fine. What if, though, when Naruto attempted to tell someone about Sai's presences that it was then he would go into killer mode, would that put Hajime in danger?

Reaching for the phone calmly he took it off of its hook as if it didn't really matter who he was calling at six almost six thirty in the morning. His eyes stayed on Sai watching the man for any kind of reaction that would spring him into his instincts, but Sai remained very relaxed in the tan cushions cautiously sipping at his tea—as if he did not know emotional pain, but instead a hell of a lot of physical pain—afraid that it might burn his tongue, because just like Naruto had for warned it was indeed very hot.

Naruto grabbed for the phone quickly dialing the number he knew by heart, pressing the phone to his ear he eyes staying on Sai's not moving figure incase he suddenly decided to go crazy the whole time. Hearing it ring in the background but the only thing he really noticed was the slurping sound of that man and his liquid substance—the way his teeth clinked against it when he put it to his mouth—also how his orbs were unfocused as if he had put himself on auto pilot or was stalling his engine.

The phone cut off mid ring and it was suddenly Tsunade's voice instead. "Whoever the hell this is you had better be prepared to die on Christ-fucking-mas, whether I'm the stupid Hokage or not!" She yelled obviously sporting a hefty hang over from her late night activities.

"Tsunade, listen, it's me." Naruto said like this was nothing at all which is what it probably was. "I just wanted to let you know that there's someone in my house…"

"Naruto are you okay? Is Hajime okay? Shit, I'm coming over!"

"No!" Naruto almost yelled causing Sai to look up at him and smile then go back to his empty cup, missing the tea that he had finished mere seconds ago. "He hasn't done anything; he's just here in my house, drinking tea. Hajime's still asleep; after all it is only six in the morning. I just wanted to check him out. See if he was okay, you know, safe." He ended loud enough for the other in the room to hear but he didn't respond at all he kind of just returned to auto pilot looking at his empty mug. So Naruto put his hand on the phone and held that end away from his mouth. "There's some more on the stove if you want it…"

Sai smiled again and got up off of the cushions. Damn the man was tall, which made Naruto wonder how much Sasuke had grown, how much more handsome had he become? The blonde shook his head of such things; _don't wish_, he thought_, don't start, for wishing only wounds the heart. _

"Name?" He heard Tsunade said groggily reminding him of his previous mission…at least she wasn't pissed off like before, that was good, he hadn't really planned on dieing today.

"Sai…something or other…he's in the kitchen now getting some more tea."

Tsunade was silent, no grumbling, no protesting, no nothing…it was like she had hung up on him, but she couldn't have because if she had Naruto would hear a dial tone by now. Her silence scared him and made him look frantically at the other man in case he tried to sneak into his daughters room, but soon enough he came and sat on the couch and turning only enough of himself on to drink what he had put in the mug. But now he was worried that his nightmares would come true today in a way that his mind had never predicted; his feet were already on the floor ready to run when Tsunade told him that he was a crazy mass axe murderer with super aids.

"Tsunade, what's wrong?" His voice barley above a whisper as he gripped the phone tightly in his hands awaiting some sort of an answer from the other end of the line.

"Nothing, Naruto," she sighed in a somewhat sad manor. "Nothing at all. Sai won't do anything; he's here on a mission, okay? There's just something we need to talk about later is all, but we can't talk about it over the phone…that wouldn't be right."

"Okay…?" The blonde boy said breathing a heavy sigh of relief. "Later then." he confirmed and the line went dead. He brought the phone away from his ear and studied it for a bit; Tsunade never acted like that, never. She was never exclusive, just usually got straight to the point of things not even thinking about the feelings of those around her; just about what needed to be done and said. This, he thought looking back at Sai, was big. Big and probably painful…EW.

He put the phone back on its hook, and continued to stare at Sai thinking about how many questions he should ask him, how many that he wanted to ask him because there was something about him that Tsunade wanted to keep from him…at least until they talked later, but that didn't matter he wanted to know now. He was impatient by nature, and he wanted to know what secret was being kept from Naruto about Sai.

But he couldn't find the right words to ask a stranger 'what the hell he was even doing here?' so he just locked his eyes on him watching him finish cup after cup of tea. That is until he asked Naruto where the bathroom was, and Naruto told him still extremely aware that no matter what Tsunade had said any human being had the capability of being dangerous.

Sighing once more he got up from where he was sitting, once Sai had returned to the couch to make more tea, Hajime's breakfast, and to check on all the food he had made previously.

A soft knock was herd at the front door, Naruto glanced at the clock and he realized that it was already eight thirty in the morning, the he looked to Sai who hadn't moved an inch from where he was seated from the beginning still smiling and staring at a blank T.V. screen as if his favorite sit com was on; when really it was turned off. And it would remain turned off for it had no need to be turned on, at least not today, Naruto was determined to make the best of the rest of the day even if it had been slightly dismembered when Sai showed up on his door step, complaining about his penis, but since then he had said barley a word.

The blonde child walked to the door already knowing who it was as he opened the door and let them in; Kakashi and Iruka they had promised that they would swing by early and help him decorate the large house…which he had sort of done the night before in all of his excitement for the morning to come and all he needed now was to light a few scented candles. He had wanted his house to have a homey feel instead of just a Christmas-y one.

Iruka pulled Naruto into a hug the moment the door was open enough for him to do so. "How's my grand baby?"

"Sleeping…" Naruto replied. It was always good to see his parents they had this way of making him feel better, like with them he was more secure like he wasn't about to break down because the burden of a lost love and children of that lost love was a little to much to bare. They made him feel almost normal again, or at the very least stable, they were the closest things that he had to a home and to a family.

"Hm, weird isn't she like year old hell right about now?" stepped in Kakashi shaking snow off of his coat before holding his arms out to them. They both stepped forward, giggling slightly as they bumped heads even though Naruto only reached Kakashi's collar bone and Iruka barley reached his lovers nose.

After the group hug was over they all stepped away from each other, happy smiles on there faces; Naruto could bet by Iruka's slight limp that they had done there own celebrating this morning.

"Hajime will probably wake up soon; she never sleeps in past nine anyway."

"Ah, she has the good habit of waking up early, she gets that from my side, you know?" Iruka winked and stuck out his tongue adding to the already good mood that they had brought into the house with them and that made Naruto so elated that he all but forgot the stranger in the living room, the one that had brought this mood down in the first place, but he was glad to have such a family who loved him and made sure to make him happy, especially on Christmas.

Naruto hurried them inside the house then remembered, "Oh, there's some guy who showed up here this morning…" Iruka and Kakashi exchanged worried glances that the blonde child pretended not to notice. "He's says his name is Sai. I know what your thinking," Although he had no idea what they were thinking, "but I got it covered, I already called Tsunade and she said that we'd have to talk later about it. You guys don't know what that's all about, do you?" The both shook their heads a little too quickly and that small act made Naruto's gut clench in worry and fear about whatever kind of conversation that would turn out to be, if his parents were lying to him. But he was going to have to believe that everything would turn out alright in the end. How could it not?

They sunk into the couch next to Sai, holding hands; tan skin contrasted against pale flesh.

"So, you're Sai?" Iruka asked in an attempt to make small talk.

Sai smiled that stupid ass smile and then said, "Yeah, I am." Iruka hated that smile on his face as well—it reminded him of all the times that Naruto had smiled like that to get people to believe that he was okay, when really he was dying on the inside.

The brunette opened his mouth to speak again, but was cut off when a small, "Momma," was heard in the back round of Naruto cooking away busily in the kitchen, and he immediately backed away from the stove turning the stoves heat down so that nothing could catch on fire and went forward to go and retrieve his daughter, most of what kept him sane, from her room.

And, oh there she was! Her sweet little curls sticking to one side of her face, the sleep still in her eyes as she reached out for her mother, her arms sticking through the slits in her crib as she leaned against it. Slight separation anxiety in those midnight iris's of hers. Another little, "Momma," escaped her lips again as she tried to reach further through the bars to her mother, who should just come and pick her up already.

He did, he held her close, carefully crushing her to his flat chest. "Merry Christmas, sweetheart." he whispered, twirling her around once then settling her back extremely close to him.

"Mea'y ch'ismas, momma." she yawned noiselessly tucking her little head under her mothers chin, and fisting the front of his pajama shirt with love.

He swung her back and forth as he walked back toward the kitchen with her in tow. "How's my little girl this morning? He asked, knowing full well the answer, lacing his fingers through her thick raven locks, humming non-committedly the song that had now become her lullaby.

"Hung'y, momma, I is hung'y." Naruto laughed and Hajime giggled along, happy that her momma was also happy today.

"That's good 'cause I made you pancakes, eggs, and orange juice," he told her as he set her in her high chair and went to obtain her food. "Oh, and baby, guess who came to visit?"

Her eyes lit up and she clapped excitedly, "Gran-gran!" she guessed. Naruto laughed again and nodded kissing her on the forehead while sliding two silver dolor pancakes with a side of eggs and a sippy cup full of orange juice just as he had promised. Hajime went cave baby on her food as soon as it was placed in front of her, most of it ending up, of her face and on the floor instead of in her mouth—she got her eating habits from her mother.

"Is that my grand baby I hear?" Iruka said walking into the kitchen to see if the loud slurping and smacking had indeed been his grandchild eating and fully awake like he had thought she was; not that anyone would be hard pressed to mistake those sounds as her or Naruto when they both attempted to breathe there food.

"Gran-gran!" she squealed throwing her hands up to greet him the rest of her food forgotten. He scooped her up balancing her tiny frame on his hip, his arm securely under her butt as he twisted her around once her hair whipping out behind her, and two separate giggles filled the kitchen. Sai and Kakashi watched silently from the doorway. The white haired man had a small loving smile on his face at the expression his lover wore he was just wishing he could _show _him how beautiful he looked right now, in this moment, but of course he would have to show him later in a separate room from the rest of them.

But the expressions both Iruka and Naruto had that were caused by such a small being was exactly why Sai was confused; he couldn't grasp the emotion there. He didn't understand how such an emotion would have the ability to make someone glow like that and be pure smiles and joy and whatnot. Looking upon them, a happy family, made him feel suddenly empty, especially since the smile on the short ones face was halve way completed.

Though he quickly snapped out of such a daze when the blonde called his name, "Sai, I would like you to meet my daughter, Hajime." he nodded with that smile on his face again when a baby was presented before him, but not given to him to hold only family had such a right and Sai was an acquaintance at best, and just that by about the skin of his teeth. Only because Iruka, Kakashi, and Tsunade didn't really seemed disturbed by his presence, though that only meant that something was up something bigger then he had originally thought.

"And this," he said keeping up with his introductions, "is my father, Iruka." He paused smiling widely up at them even Sai whose false expression never faltered. "And this guy on the right is my second father, Kakashi…"

"Pop-pop!" Hajime yelled out stretching towards him as if to back her mommy up even though she really didn't understand that these people were not born family, only that they were.

"I mean," Naruto worried concerned with the mans wide-eyed silence, "if that's okay with you?"

"Of course it is!" he said reaching down to hug all of them quite fiercely; they were his parents. He and Iruka were both dads and Naruto, his knuckle headed student, was their child the one who had made that possible. He had always considered Naruto to be like a son to him, it was just good to know that he felt the same.

"It's very nice to meet you all." Sai said practically destroying the particularly hallmark-y moment with his cold uncaring voice. He stuck out a pale hand politely.

"Sure…" Iruka spat bitterly shaking the younger but taller boys hand with what almost looked like forming disgust in his eyes which was odd, the brunette did hate a few people, but never people that he hadn't even formally gotten to know. But he just turned back around to face them as if him acting that way was normal Kakashi had done the same; almost as if that was what he had been expecting because he reached down to grabbed at his lovers hand, squeezing it gently and interlacing their fingers.

Iruka smiled at him, if anyone knew how to make him feel good, it was Kakashi, and he kissed the man even though he still had his mask on, the gesture was all that counted, for it was one filled with love.

"Okay," Naruto giggled. "I'm going to go get Hajime and myself ready for the party. Be good."

They were nut only because the all too not so pleasant surprise of Sai showing up on of all people Naruto's door step, although Kakashi had tried to make some moves insisting that they had a good thirty to thirty three minutes before Naruto came out of the back of the house; by then they could be done cleaned up with a range of ten to twelve minutes to spare. But Iruka had pushed his lover away from him grumbling about not being in the mood and throwing Sai one particularly dirty look—Sai's presence had not affected Kakashi's ability to get horny from just the sight alone of his lover and didn't see why he should be denied because of another man. Still he did respect his lover and would just fuck him senseless later.

"You know, you don't usually grip my shirt this tight, unless were…"

"Kakashi!" Iruka yelled thunking his lover but leaving one hand to fist the front of his shirt in anger. Sai had picked the most inopportune moment to come here, and today of all days in the year today they had to give Naruto some more bad news; they had to ruin what could be the makings of a happy memory for him, but now all _this_ had pretty much been flushed down the tubes.

Kakashi wrapped his arms around his small lover's waist pulling him close. Iruka accepted the comfort resting his cheek on the white haired mans shoulder and sighing loudly, thankful that Sai had returned to the living room leaving them alone in the kitchen knowing that his presence was not need or for that matter wanted _at all._ This way he couldn't destroy every moment of joy with his unfeeling manor completely.

"Don't you worry now," he whispered into Iruka's ear, rocking him gently from side to side lovingly. "Everything will work itself out, you'll see."

Iruka shook his head in the crook of Kakashi's neck breathing as of he were about to cry but couldn't find the tears which resulted in his love tightening his hold on the one he loved so dearly, not that he minded. "It wont, I know it won't. It can't. That boy in there lost his parents the day he was born and he has blamed himself, thinking himself a monster, when he's just a child. He was a mom at age thirteen and knows love that haunts him even now at fourteen and Kakashi he, he has no one…"

"He had us, were there for him."

"It's not the same and you know it, and I, I know it too. He's fallen in love with someone who would never feel the same. He deserves to have someone who loves him like you do love me, who hold him like you hold me, someone who could return his feelings whole heartedly without revenge or some other crap getting in the way. To have Naruto come first for someone; he didn't deserve to be left behind with child neglected and lonely, he's too good for that. Sasuke could never love him the same…" he sobbed.

"That's not true."

Iruka sniffled looking up at his love's masked face. "What-what isn't true?"

Kakashi sighed, "I'll that Sasuke left _because _of Naruto, to put Naruto, not his own emotions, _first _and that it pained him as much if not more harshly then it did Naruto—I mean could you imagine leaving me behind without saying goodbye because it was what was best. I know my pupil he does feel strong ass emotions for our son, he loves him dearly enough to let him go for his own good. I'll bet that he couldn't go though without Naruto knowing somewhat about how he felt and I don't believe that Sasuke had the intentions of bedding Naruto. And no way in hell could he have ever predicted that our son would become pregnant." He continued to whisper knowing full well that Naruto was just in the back room and could come out and hear what they were saying; though it would probably be good for him. But, they didn't want him to hear, in case what they did say was really a lie.

"If Sasuke does lo-love our son then why go? Why not stay and love him like you say he does?"

"Like I said for his own good, to protect him, and I think him for that." Kakashi paused putting his thoughts in order to make Iruka understand just how much love it took for Sasuke to be able to leave and although it did hurt Naruto this way would be better then if he had given in to his feelings and stayed. Things could have only been good for a little while and then chaos would rain on them for god knows how long, this way, because Sasuke had left, they could be together and happy in the end.

"Okay then, do you remember Itachi?" The brunette nodded not voicing how pointless he thought that this question was. "Do you also remember what it was that Itachi had come here for, what he had wanted?"

Iruka gasped putting two and two together and breathed, "Kyubbi…" shakily.

Kakashi just nodded. "Itachi is corrupt and he is evil, he has become the very root of that word; if he had gotten his hands on Naruto that day our son would be gone right now and it would be Sasuke mourning the loss of his love. Sasuke saved Naruto that day, he passes it off as revenge shit, but even Sasuke knew that he was no where near ready to face his brother yet. But he took all of that damage anyway so that Naruto could come out of all of that alive and unscathed. He loved Naruto even then and he was very much aware of those feelings, even of he had no idea what to do with them…"

"That-that was when you were in the hospital." Iruka shook his head as he was smothered by the weight of it all, he had been hit by a ton of bricks; the memories that he had thought to be dead for a long while now. "If I had almost lost Naruto, too, I wouldn't have been able to take that…"

"Okay guys its official Hajime is the most beautiful baby girl in the world." Naruto walked out with his daughter in his arms who had on one green sock and one red sock and her hair ties matched them perfectly which basically set the mood for the rest of both their out fits; let your imaginations run wild as Naruto's had.

"We'll talk later." Kakashi mouthed and they would talk later it was promise now and besides Kakashi would not get any until they did finish this conversation.

Iruka nodded and reluctantly broke away from the comfort that he felt, the peace that was always accompanied with Kakashi's embrace, to laugh at Naruto's out fit choice for both himself and his daughter.

—whew—that took freaking forever and I had to spilt this chapter in halve! I know it's not all that much longer then normal but it is longer so deal with it.

In the next chapter there's like a lot of Nejikiba 'cause there absolutely adorable…then I'm mean to Naruto some more! Oh well…It adds more plot to the story line although I'm not sure if I need more plot…again I dunno…I kinda feel like this was sort of a filler chapter but like not…I don't know maybe I'm just in a state of writers block concerning this one story…

Anyway this is so late—as I said in the beginning—because I have like six new fully formed stories in my brain that I will probably never ever post! WOO-HOO!

Two more chapters before Sasuke comes back! I need ideas though as to what should happen when he does come back, I do know how I'm going to make him reappear and how I'm going to end the story (there will even be a lemon) but all that middle stuffs I'm not so sure about…so HELP ME if you don't want this story to turn to crap, although it's really not all that good…trust me I've written better…but yeah!

Same terms as last chapter! Review and you get cookies! Plus my infinite lbs of love!


	13. Part Three: The Replacement Raven

Okay so I finally figured out how to use this site after being on it for almost a year

Okay so I finally figured out how to use this site after being on it for almost a year. So if you reviewed you should have gotten a message back from me…as it is not many people reviewed my last chapter and that made me sad…but oh well on with the story.

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The rest of his adopted family arrived soon after some more awkward moments of a five way staring contest; Sai, Naruto, Iruka, and Kakashi had all their eyes lock on one another with a deep unsettling _hatred _there. And poor Hajime was left to play alone abundantly talented in the almost impossible feat of crossing her eyes-1-. Though roughly around ten family member after family member poured in through the front door baring loads of presents, more food then what Naruto had already made—more then enough to feed several third world countries—and they too harbored a horrible feeling for how this day would turn out. Even Hinata's face—the sweetest girl in the whole village who wouldn't hurt a fly, unless of course she had to—had shown signs of disgust and even her big heart hardened immediately towards Sai.

All of them knew something that he didn't. Every single one of them was let in on the secret of whom, or what Sai was and why he was here. Naruto was the only one out of the loop, it was him being kept out in the dark without the promise of light; he hated it.

Tsunade was the last to show up with her own set of presents and a note from Gaara saying that he was busy and that he couldn't afford to make it, but they would be getting presents in the mail; Naruto just hoped his wasn't a pinned voodoo doll representing a massacred Sasuke. She also let her extreme dislike for Sai be bluntly known, none of which the newcomer seemed to notice or mind.

Despite the ill feelings they felt for the new raven they all talked and chatted around the Christmas tree—even finding a space between Sakura and Tsunade to fit Sai who watched the large family with mock fascination—about who should open what first. They were unanimous, except for a flustered blonde, decreeing that Naruto and Hajime should open Kiba's present first; since all of them knew it would have to tinkle soon…

Naruto stood up from his seat on the floor where he had been leaning against Iruka's legs and had had his daughter in his lap to retrieve the semi-large gift and placed it directly in front of the raven haired girl. The wrapping paper was a beautiful shade of green with a plethora of cherry red dog biscuits on it. Hajime stared at it in year old awe because of how bright and pretty that it was. Naruto saw how she liked it and carefully pealed in away from the box so that she could have it to play with later on.

The box yelped loudly and wriggled making Naruto jump and the rest of them erupted in loud laughter at the almost pissed his pants expression that masked Naruto's features. After the initial shock had passed Naruto gave Kiba the mother of all dirty looks having halve a mind to throttle the taller boy; only by like two-tops inches. Kiba just grinned broadly, mischievously from ear to ear at the blonde's sour expression. His work here—to absolutely piss the blonde off—was done; besides that though Akamaru (sp) was in need of a friend now that he spent all of his time, free or not, with Neji.

"Puppy!" Hajime squealed when the small dog jumped at her face and smothered hr face with kisses, all the girls cooed like happy little pigeons.

"Okay, okay, that's enough!" Naruto pulled the tiny yellow dog off of his daughter. It was able to fit snuggly in his hands if he cupped them together like it had just barley started to open its eyes and ears. Why Kiba would give Naruto a gift that wasn't even able to pee properly by itself?

Damn, inconsiderate bastard.

"He needs a name you know?" Kiba snickered at Naruto's face while the blonde was trying to figure out what he would do with the thing—with no help from Kiba no less. Although he had to admit with its big chocolaty eyes and shaggy yellow fur-2-…Ah, fine, he'd keep it…but only because Hajime liked it so much, and that happened to be the only reason, thank-you-very-much. He didn't really like dogs he preferred birds and rabbits.

"'amen!" Hajime giggled taking the dog from her mother and smushed him to her chest, the set it in her lap and laughed when ever he wriggled perking his ears up for attention.

Kiba groaned apparently unhappy at the rest of the girls little aw's when Hajime patted the dog on the head mumbling 'good 'amen' and 'I wub you 'amen' cutely in that adorable little girl voice that only one two six years old have down pat.

"Come on guy's it's a boy dog! Why don't you just castrate him with a name like that? Because you know he does have a penis?"

"And you do!?" Naruto threw an awfully nasty look in his direction telling him that if he ever said that in front of his baby again he would be the one getting castrated, and to top it off he sneered when he was sure Hajime wasn't listening. "Kiba's a boys name and aren't you the girl in your relationship!"

"Like your one to talk! And for your information I've been seme like…" He flushed looking down at his hands as his face turned various shades of red and then purple; which finished his sentence for him. The correct answer would be, folks, never!

Neji chuckled; a very odd but light sound pulling the relatively small boy into his lap to whisper something hotly in his ear and have his hands travel down Kiba's face and then neck and finally sides. But before Kiba could turn around and kiss his boyfriend wetly openly there was a sharp pain at the back of his head. He turned back around leaving a pissed Neji unappeased to find a smirking Naruto who was now missing his left shoe; thankful that his daughter was still extremely focused on Ramen. He grinned foxily at Kiba wriggling his only socked toes drawing the dog-boys attention to the absent projectile.

Kiba huffed in irritation at how tight his pants now were leaning back against Neji's chest but only so that he could elbow him more efficiently muttering discontinued sentences like, "Hater. Party Pooper. Spawn of the devil. I hate you both."

Neji chuckled some more and the rest of the group—except Kiba—joined in and then he said to Naruto. "You should open mine next it goes along with Kiba-chans." He kissed his boyfriends neck letting him know who it was that held his leash and why he liked it this way.

The blonde nodded slightly secretly hating them; not them really, they were family, but instead their relationship. He couldn't help but wonder if he and Sasuke would have ended up like that, how they looked at each other and kissed with so much love; the dirty but lust filled looks and the sex puns mentioning what had to be great sex. If Sasuke would want to play with _his _fingers and _his _hair and let him sit on the ravens lap. Would he whisper sweet nothings in his ear about how much love they shared? Would Sasuke have done those types of things? Would Sasuke love him the way that the once cold hearted Neji loved Kiba?

Not knowing the answer almost made Naruto want to cry; how come everyone but Naruto didn't have to fake pure happiness, they just were. All except the newcomer Sai who sat on the floor between the two women who wanted to beat him until his skin color matched his hair color. He didn't really move just stared with a seemingly confused…or was that constipated?...expression on his face. Naruto had a growing suspicion that if he kept it like that much longer it would get stuck.

The blonde shook away those feelings and looked to the new present in his lap ripping away similarly decorated wrapping paper away—his daughter way to preoccupied with Ramen and her three aunts-3- to even pat attention—and he saw a small leather adjustable collar. Naruto threw back his head and laughed so hard that tears came to his eyes while everyone else just gave him soft looks and smiles at not having heard such an angelic sound in a long time. It didn't feel like he had lost it but instead regained a piece of himself through healing hands and ol' father time, or maybe he had just found it again; his joy.

He halve-way composed his freakish giggling as best he could crawling over to the tree fishing through the presents until he found the one that he wanted, placed it in Kiba's lap who was in Neji's the padded back to his daughter and to his sisters.

Both boys just stared down at it like they weren't sure of how to proceed. Kiba turned around so that he was straddling his boyfriend's hips and whispered. "Come on, open it." Neji still moved at snail speed tearing the tape at the edges as if he had no idea how this was supposed to be done, and that's because he didn't really. The only present he had even been given before was the one that he had gotten earlier that morning from Kiba…but that one hadn't really needed to be unwrapped.

He tore away the paper from the front of it his arms laced behind Kiba's back. Neji's eyebrow burrowed together in a blank mask of confusion his lips brushing against his boyfriend's ear when he spoke. "I don't own a dog…"

"Oh, contrar, you do!" Naruto stated already having put the leather collar on Ramen so he waggled a finger at the comfortable couple on the couch. "I know it's not as nice as the one that you got me." he babbled. "But I though that if it broke or something I could just go out and get you a new one…I got the one with the year long warranty, that's good. I'm glad that I did because-"

"Naruto, "Kiba cut the blonde off having turned back around in his boyfriends lap so that he could face them, snapping Naruto out of his stupor. "Neji really doesn't own a dog, what's he going to do with a collar?"

The blonde boy's eyes narrowed victoriously as he handed Hajime a piece of string to toy Ramen with. "He can make sure that his _bitch _can't get away." He mocked a bit sarcastically but perfectly serious at the same time. Watching happily as Neji unwrapped the red collar and set it around his boyfriend's neck and Kiba's face was the same color as the triangle tattoos on his face.

The whole ground laughed when Neji picked up another present from Naruto and this time he received a whip and a leash to accompany the collar.

-…-

Much later people filtered out of his house except for Kakashi, Iruka, Tsunade and Sai who were sitting on the couch even though it was nearing nine at night and they had been here since at least ten in the morning. Naruto had a dreamy look on his face and an emotion inside himself of pure contentness-4- this day had been more the he could have ever asked for, much more then he ever had thought that it would be and Hajime was also happy; that had been his main goal and he had gloriously succeeded without even really trying which made the blonde even more happy. Although he knew whose persons appearance would have made this day better, but maybe so much worse.

_No _He told himself scornfully as he waved goodbye to Lee who bounded down the drive way with joyous leaps of youth and then closed the door behind him since he was the last one out. _Don't even start. _

He walked into the living room where his remaining family and Sai sat. "Neji and Kiba sure wanted to get home quickly." Kakashi grumbled about not getting any and Iruka told him to quite frankly hush up.

"Hey, would you guys like to sleep over because I could set up the guest room real quick, I could blow up a matrices for Sai, Tsunade you can take my bed and I'll sleep on the couch…okay?" He asked hopefully at the three members of his family, a small real smile gracing his face with its presence.

"Sure," they all said in unison even Sai who had a vague idea that Naruto's smile was a rare thing but he had no clue as to why that was but even he wanted to be able to see it all the time when Naruto was happy he looked even more beautiful then the sunrise; but he supposed that even day breaks. That confused him more then their Christmas festivities earlier that he hadn't been allowed to participate in because he was not a part of them, he was not close to them like they were to each other. The food had been good and giving and receiving presents was always nice but the point of it all he couldn't quite grasp.

"Mmkay…" hummed Naruto taking a halve asleep Hajime from Iruka and went to put her to bed then returned to his friends dragging several blankets and large pillows behind him after ten or so minutes of leaving them to occupy them selves.

"Naruto," Iruka said softly, "Sit." he patted the space next to him witch Naruto instantly filled settling into the cushions until he got comfortable nest to his father. "Naruto we have another gift just for you from all or us including Sakura but she said her parents wanted her back before nine so she couldn't stay to give it to you also."

"Really?" He smiled at Iruka as Ramen curled up in his lap and he started to lightly stroke the dogs sandy fur as if out of habit.

"Yeah really, brat." Tsunade grumbled wringing her hands in search of sake but Naruto hadn't allowed her to bring any into the house so she had to settle for self spiked egg-nog. How come when she badly needed to get shit faced drunk her alcohol was no where to be found?

"Okay well what is it?" His smiled transformed into a smirk as he motioned for Tsunade's egg-nog. She reluctantly handed it over to the blonde boy who snatched it away from her taking a deep whiff of the stuff before making a face and then proceeded to pour it out in the trash can by his feet that they had used to clean up the mountain of wrapping paper and tape. And just to be smug he handed it back to her completely empty.

"You know I said no alcohol in the house, what if Hajime got a hold of that. You're not a very good role model you know that?" he rightly accused.

"Look who's talking Mister I-became-a-mom-at-age-thirteen-and-I'm-still-single." she snorted then felt guilty when he winced at her words. "Naruto I'm sorry, no alcohol makes me irritable."

"'S Okay." He squeaked not able to look her in the eye. Iruka gave her a look mouthing 'good going' he was so very angry with himself for having to kill this Naruto the one that he had missed for so long; the one who smiled continually and was actually _happy. _

"Naruto," Iruka pat a hand on his shoulder and squeezed lightly. He pulled the present from his bag and put it in the blonde boys lap. It wasn't wrapped there wasn't any point to it to be formally wrapped it would have been harder that was, it was better to get the depression over first hand. It was better this way.

The blonde boys eyes went wide hardly breathing staring at the blue scrapbook that read '_Book Of Memories Dedicated To Those Missing' _He ran his small fingers gingerly over the indentation of the black lettering, tears running full force down his scarred cheeks. The breath ran ragged through his dysfunctional lungs, blood attempting to pump into and out of his broken heart. Even his brain couldn't work properly until a hand reached out and touched his cheek brushing some of the tears away with the pad of his thumb.

"Thank you, it's so beautiful, thank you."

The brunette's eyes were sad as he whispered almost as ragged as his son, "Open it."

Tan hands hesitated when they reached for the front cover his whole arm involuntarily shaking like they were in the middle of an earthquake. Finally, it fell open he gasped painfully as the sensation burned down his throat and it constricted around itself making it harder to breathe. There was his lovers face with all of them; Sakura, Naruto, Kakashi…and Sasuke. Sasuke the boy he had missed so dearly, loved so wholly, wanted back to at least see again so badly he would have traded almost anything for just that; even his hopes and dreams.

Within seconds he slammed it shut and shoved it onto the floor; bring up his knees to clutch them tightly to his chest. Iruka's arms were around him in an instant, he had predicted a similar reaction, he pulled the blonde to his chest carefully being sure not to freak him out and to hold him tight enough so that the blonde boy could feel the warmth and comfort he was trying to give but loose enough so that if he wanted he could break away; which was hard for Iruka when he just wanted to tuck the blonde boy and _make _him forget the raven even if he didn't want to.

"Why?" Why? Why? Just everything was going so good and he actually felt like he used to, like a whole person. Normal even, human for one night then they had to destroy that with that book that showed him a time of true happiness. That was the first time Naruto was accepted as a human being into other human beings hearts; back in prehistoric times when he could be with Sasuke, even before he loved him more then friends should. Before…when life was good.

"It was going to be for…Sasuke…when he came back" Kakashi said bringing them both into his lap, Tsunade at their sides running her fingers through his blonde hair. "It shows him everything he's been missing and we thought that since Sai's here we should give it to you, so that you can keep it for when Sasuke returns…okay?" He explained caressing his lovers and sons backs while they cried together.

"Why because Sai's here?" He hiccupped burring closer to them as if that would get the ravens face out of his head, get his name off of his lips, wipe away the memories from his brain; just leave him and return once Sasuke did…but only when Sasuke did.

Kakashi looked to Tsunade signaling that it was her turn to explain why Sai had turned up on his doorstep, "We didn't give it to you because Sai's appearance, we all hate it that he showed up today of all days he could of pick out of the year, but he did. And were sorry for all the shit were about to put you through. I guess that why we made this, so that you can fill it with memories for your daughter or the Uchiha-brat if he ever decides to stop being stupid and come back to you." She sighed at the streaming eyes of blue staring at her in wide eyed confusion. in all honesty they didn't understand it either, its just when Sakura suggested it so that he could have a book to put those unforgettable memories of the raven and so that the blonde could have an easier time explaining everything if Sasuke came back to him; they knew that this is what he hoped for with all of his being and plus, it had seemed like a really good idea at the time.

Maybe this was a way to say that they too believed that there was a chance of the raven's return back to Konoha. Maybe they were trying to give him hope before they crushed what was left of that dream because of what they had to tell him next. Maybe they had been trying not to help him forget but instead make it so that it didn't hurt him to remember…

At a loss for words the busty women cradled him so that there were three pairs of arms surrounding him to make sure that he stayed okay but the boy did not feel secure, it was like—even though he knew that he was loved—he wasn't safe.

"So-so why is Sai here?" Naruto sobbed not quite over the loss in his dismembered heart as he remembered Sasuke's face when he was angry or sad, thoughtful…happy, even the face of extreme pleasure when they had made love—or possibly just had sex-4-—the night before Naruto had woken up from that dream and into this nightmare.

And each memory stabbed at his heart as he remembered his eyes. Jab. His hair. Jab. His voice. Jab. Every little detail of the raven inside and out. Jab. Jab. Jab. The agony got to a point as he continued to remember against his will and because of that he felt like and because of that he felt like he had been hit by a rock of astronomical proportion then left under it halve alive…to die. Die alone and painfully in his blood, in his memories, and with all the regret of never telling Sasuke how much that he loved him, and forced to face the fact that he was slowly leavi9ng Hajime behind without him there with her just like her father.

That was kind of what he wanted to do though was to crawl under a rock and leave this life he didn't feel that was worth living. Dieing would be freedom at least from this pain. From this agony; the indescribable kind, that you wouldn't know of until you've _felt_ it. Really felt it deep down where every moment is the pain and no one around you can make it subside for even a moment. Even if you try so hard to begin again.

"You know as well as I do that teams need three members to be able to go on missions and actually be considered a team under the guidance of their sensei's, right?" Naruto nodded, he knew that there _were _three people in his group. "And since there has to be three people in a group Sai has come here to be Sasuke's temporary replacement…" Sai Tsunade in the softest tone she could manage.

Naruto shoved them away with a horrified expression on his face and he watched their features as if there was the answer to why they would do this to him. Why, of all people, why had they been the ones to hurt him this time? Did they really think that that guy could do better on the team then Sasuke, could he really live up to the raven's standard? Besides Sasuke didn't _need _to be replaced he _**would**_come back one day…to his home…wouldn't he? Not that it mattered really Naruto would wait for him forever.

To build up his hope then shoot it down so that his wishes were just some bright star in the sky where he could not reach. He clutched at his heart at the edges of it which were on fire and more and more of him was just turning to ash and this time the people he had trusted to most had been the ones this time to strike the match. His parents, his loved ones, had all deceived him; thinking that everything would turn out alright, that this pain could only be a memory and that it wouldn't hurt anymore. That someday the agony would only be a scrap book to him.

He glared at Sai with an utmost expression of hatred; what a lie. What a lie.

The blonde child stood up stiffly distrust dawning in red tinged eyes as the salty bitter tears escape him and rolled down his whiskered cheeks. He picked up the book of memories from where he had thrown it on the floor and walked to his room. Loathing them for lying to him, or not telling the whole truth when he thought that they always would.

He flipped through the pages of the book on his bed still clad in red and green and allowed himself to remember that which he had never really forgotten.

Meanwhile Iruka, Kakashi, Tsunade, and Sai sat in the living room stuck dumb at such a hate filled reaction until Iruka wrapped himself around his lover and breathed. "Not like this, not like this."

Tsunade stood up then and grunted; "I'll take Sai back to my office and get him settled." they nodded in unison understanding that it was something that had to be done.

Then they too left Naruto to his daughter, his empty house, and to the memories that haunted his normal nightmares and even his dreams when he fell asleep with the book in his hands and wrapped in a silky piece of midnight wrapped around his small frame; the one he couldn't leave behind.

_Had it always been a lie? _

_--_

-1- Okay I just learned how to cross my eyes! Yay me!

-2- Guess, what breed he is come one guess!

-3- Just thought I'd clarify that those people are Ino, Sakura and Hinata.

-4- Okay it's my personal belief that making love and having sex are, by far, not the same thing…if you know what I mean.

That's all I got.

REVIEW!

Bye!


	14. Don't you know how I feel about you?

Alrighty then! I'm back! And Sasuke will be to in the next chapter; there no use making it a surprise it's all leading in that direction anyways. I have the next two chapters of this story also written, I just don't know when ill find the time to re-write them and then to get on the stupid computer and type them—I hope by next week I can get then next one up and stop being such a loser but I have no friggin idea! School is a bitch, parents are ridding my ass about wanting to read something of mine and being the homophobes that they are I cant exactly hand them this—or any—of my fanfictions, kiss their cheeks, and say enjoy in a totally fake French accent! No it just wouldn't work like that! Not that any of you care…but really…life is terrible.

—Blah!

Sai was everywhere. He had to be. He was now a part of the team but he was not considered a part of them. Granted he was an overwhelmingly good fighter, and he was exceptionally strong, they could give him that much. He showed them the expertise that he had in battle that they did not, more then willing to teach them and because of him they eventually got to go on C and even B ranked missions. His personality was clouded but also cocky, and he liked to use penis several times as a long string of words that have absolutely no point what's so ever in being created. And all of that was okay too, really it was; the only time it wasn't okay was when Hajime was with them because Naruto hadn't been able to find a sitter, but that was very rare. The closest Sai ever got to Naruto's daughter in the first month since his arrival were pictures and stories he bared proudly about her adventures tottering around the house and mastering the furniture, but even that was restricted territory for him.

Naruto had avoided the man at all costs. At first he hated him for taking Sasuke's place on the teams even though Sasuke's shoes hadn't the need to be filled. As if they expected a member on the team to fill the empty space in their hearts.

The blonde had been foolish (he could openly admit that now) keeping Hajime from the rest of her family just to spite them. Hating them with every fiber of his being for doing _this _to him, but doing what exactly, he blamed them as if it had always been their fault. They had put him through so much agony because the blonde boy had once profoundly believed that maybe the team was the only reason Sasuke would come back to them, and his adopted family had taken that away.

But, really, he didn't hate them; he didn't hate anyone. Not Iruka, not Kakashi, or Tsunade. After all they were family and had only wanted the very best for their son or grandson in some cases. He needed to train his body to go on missions if it was still his life long dream the Hokage one day, and they had seen that when he hadn't. Naruto had come to realize that, aside from his immediate dislike for the guy, he didn't even really hate Sai. He _had _been so very angry with them and far too quick at jumping the extra leap and calling that anger hate. So much bad had happen because of that little mistake although it was just the anger talking.

He just loathed that he had been in such haste to find anything to make himself honestly believe that he could hate them or Sai. Sai really hadn't done a thing to Naruto; he was just following his orders. The blonde had come to understand this after a long period of thought (which really didn't suit him at all) that who he was actually furious with wasn't Sai it was the boy who had cut him the deepest with that sharp knife of lies. He was angry at Sasuke, like he had been from the beginning, for leaving him for a snake. The raven had gone to chase after a bad man who could give him forbidden knowledge to make him strong enough to kill his brother; he would trade away his soul for this. That was who he hated and also who he loved. That was who he wanted to stay away, but also that he wished had never left.

The blonde had just been plain disappointed. He had been let down that it was Sai and not Sasuke who had come to fill the empty spot on their team. Because he knew that Sai couldn't protect him like he had felt that Sasuke could, no one but the raven made him feel completely safe. He didn't trust Sai. He didn't trust Sai to stay with the team and he had hoped that soon enough that spot would be empty again. The place would be abandoned once more for when Sasuke came back to them; came back to Naruto maybe out of love and maybe out of hate. Maybe he wanted to kill the blonde or have a fight until the death, but maybe his actions would be ones of love.

Though Sai, Naruto concluded after being around the man for a month or so, wasn't all bad. In a way it was nice having another team member even if that person wasn't Sasuke. The boy liked going on missions again. However, even after spending hours and hours together Sai was still a mystery to Naruto, and him to Sai.

The black haired man also claimed quite often that he had drawn a thousand pictures but Naruto hadn't seen any besides the ones that he brought to life. Naruto was intrigued but also confused by this for he had never seen or heard about anything remotely similar to Sai's trade before. Especially confused because Sai had the ability to bring non-living things to life…but he had the qualities of a corpse.

He eventually shook his chilly exterior though, and they, both of them, warmed up to each other. Both started giving off almost real smiles and considered the other a friend; not best friends, mind you, Naruto did not compare this bond to the one that he had once shared with Sasuke. But they were team mates.

A day or so past his realization that Sai wasn't all that bad and that they had only done what they thought was best and that they would never want to purposely hurt him he showed up at his parents door step one night with baby Hajime on his hip—who hadn't had anyone there for her first birthday—and begged them for forgiveness. He explained that he was the most selfish person on the planet, and the rudest, and how he had acted like a spoiled rotten child, and he repeatedly told them how sorry he was for turning his back on them. But Iruka would hear none of it. The brunette had just shaken his head, his eyes burning with un-shed tears and he opened his arms to his son and whispered, "Welcome home," And then they never spoke of it again.

Welcome _home_, who knew such simple words could make him feel so at ease after doing what he had done to them. He had expected them to turn him away at the door because he had already had all the chances that they would give him but they still welcomed him _home_. They welcomed him home, and Naruto finally felt like this was his home even without Sasuke, he belonged here with his family. And they truly did love him.

The only person who wasn't at ease was Sai who knew that slowly but surely he was falling for the blonde, and he was falling hard. It was difficult growing to love someone who had already promised their whole self to another. Sai didn't know how he had managed these past six months having first hand knowledge that Naruto was now stitched away in his heart, threaded by the new emotions tugging on the vital organ chugging away in his chest. He had even let Naruto see how much he cared for the boy, how much he loved him. The blonde had visibly stiffened when he told him. "Take it back," He had said, "Take it back. I won't accept it." How many times had the boy repeated that he was a wasted effort when he was so in love with someone else?

And still Sai tried again.

And again…

And again…

Increasing his chances with the blonde but continuing to break his heart.

1—1

Sai had entered the house with a much practiced stealth, taking off his sandals at the door. It was a common courtesy and he didn't want them to squelch against the floor, being traitors and giving his presence away. After doing this he followed the shadows into a dark living room.

The blonde was breathtakingly beautiful when bathed in the moonlight. The light from the stars made him glow and illuminated his crystal eyes especially when washed with his tears. Sai stood still in the doorway and took in the midnight light pooling around Naruto's whole being in a friend-like manor but at the same time setting the mood for his heart broken state. His blue eyes gazed hungrily out his window, his wanton eyes searching for one soul in particular, the one on the whole earth that he had just found out that he didn't know as well as he thought.

Anger; anger befell Sai's whole driving force as he cleaned at the doorway in an absolute but silent furry. How could this Sasuke ever have left such an angel behind for a devil? Oh yes, Sai knew clearly of the younger ravens betrayal. One night when Naruto's nightmares haunted him, with the life that he could have had and other gruesome images of his daughter's death, to the point where he wasn't able to take it anymore, he called up Sai and told him everything; even a very vague statement about how Hajime had come to be. If that raven hadn't left him Naruto wouldn't have to go through all of this…this pain that stuck to the fragments of his heart worse than bitter taffy.

Sai had to admit thought how grateful he was to the raven for leaving; if he hadn't Sai and Naruto wouldn't have ever met. And Sai couldn't picture his life without the blonde's cheerful mood (the one that only came in on good days) or the helpful hand he used to push Sai to become who he was today; for he was only who he was because Naruto had believed in him. He believed that Sai could move past his text book training and live with human emotions. Living with a beating heart was heavy but at least it was real.

"Sai, go away…" Naruto sighed. He knew Sai's chakra signature so well by now that he knew it was him the moment upon entering his house. The blonde didn't want Sai to see him like this; all withering and broken. He didn't want him to look at him in a period where he gave his true emotions away to these four walls and to nothing and no one else. He didn't want to seem weak in front of his friends; in front of anyone.

"Naruto, I…" Sai took a step forward from the shadows his arm extending toward the blonde.

"Sai, please, I can't talk to you right now." Naruto turned back to the window away from his friend hoping and praying that Sai would listen to him just this once and go home. Just leave him be and let him cry, he would be smiley for everyone tomorrow. Right now though he needed to seep into the darkness, though it wouldn't really matter now he had strayed so far from the light…he just never wanted Sai to pity him for being this way even if they were friends.

"Naruto, what's the matter?" The blonde hung his head, his shoulders shaking from the small sobs he was giving off. "I want to help you!" He was yelling now. Yelling because he was fucking frustrated seeing as he couldn't get it through the boys think skull that the blonde would be so much better off forgetting about someone who clearly had forgotten about him; someone who made him cry. Naruto deserved a person who would take care of him and would be a father figure to Hajime. Sai could be both of those things and more if that was what Naruto wanted. He knew that he could love the blonde more then anyone else in this world, much more then that bastard Sasuke could. Sai would and had already made Naruto smile in an almost happy way.

"You can't!" Naruto's bottom lip quivered so the blonde boy bit down on it and began to chew it nervously. He looked over at Sai through his bangs and look of pity and sadness in his own eyes. "You're not Sasuke. You can't help me."

Sai took a step back in shook at his loves words; he remembered that he had forgotten. How in the hell could he have forgotten? It was on this day two years ago that Naruto had had his heart broken into millions of little bits and pieces. It was the one thing that duck tape couldn't even fix. Today Naruto's face had lost its ability to genuinely smile, and Naruto had been put through a shredder to appear before him in beautiful strips of ribbon. It was this day that Naruto's true self had grown legs and tagged along with the boy that the blonde loved so dearly leaving this shell of a person behind in its wake. In this solitary night two years ago Hajime and Sasuke Jr. had been conceived. Today…

Naruto brought his knees up to his chest and buried his face in the folds of his pajama pants. "Just go Sai, just go." He sobbed his words racked with emotion.

But of course Sai would never be the same as that trickster raven, he would be the same as that Sasuke who had left Naruto alone all this time without even the decency to give him a goodbye; if this was the Uchiha's pride then he would gladly spit upon it and grind it into dust. He could be Naruto's knight in shinning armor if he could.

Sai came over and sat beside his love that hid his face from view. Sai cupped his cheek and forced the blondes blue eyes to meet his black ones. Sai traced his whiskered cheeks with the pad of his thumb meaning the action to be soothing and heart felt. "Don't you know how I feel about you?" He spoke softly with as much passion and love as he could manage, the harshness of his breath bleeding through the sincerity of his emotions. Consciously he leaned forward to capture those plush lips; one kiss, just one, that's all that it would take to make Naruto his. One kiss to have him, keep him, love him, and more importantly to take away all of this…

"It's not yours to take ways." The blonde whispered. He hadn't moved, he hadn't turned away from what he knew was coming, but still Sai stopped in his tracks and leaned away letting his hand drop into his lap like a dead thing that he was no longer in control of. "I love Sasuke. When he returns to me I want him to pick up the pieces. I want to know of _his_ love for me. Your not him Sai, and you can't take his place."

Naruto was right Sai couldn't be whatever Naruto wanted because Sasuke was all that he wanted. Sai could easily mimic Sasuke actions; he would be able to make himself close enough to the younger raven in such a way that he could be layered on top of the original and match up down to the last hair on his chinny chin chin. Although, to Naruto that wouldn't matter at all. They would never be the same. He knew that.

"How can you still believe that he is going to return to you? He left you after having sex with you and abandoned you on a cold matrices naked as the day you were born, and this is the tanks that he gets; your unyielding love. He doesn't fucking deserve it! How can you believe that he's coming back, but you can't believe me when I say that I love you? Why do you insist on holding onto someone who didn't even have the guts to tell you goodbye after stealing away your virginity and your h-heart? He didn't even leave you something as simple as a note!" Sai's head was very heavy all of a sudden and fell into his hands. Was this the first time he felt like weeping? He couldn't remember.

Naruto's hand was on Sai's shoulder as if he was the one in need of comfort. "That's not a proven truth Sai."

"What isn't?" He looked up from his hands where he had rested his pounding head in exasperation; being in love with Naruto was so exasperating sometimes.

"Well," The blonde boy looked sheepish drawing back to his side of the window seat, "I never actually looked for a note or anything. After Iruka carried me home that day I couldn't bring myself to go back and look for a goodbye note because it would hurt too much to. It was easier to face that he stole my heart then into the night than to go back and relive…what happened between us there." Naruto slumped over, but when Sai tried to reach out to hold him Naruto just sat right back up shaking his head at the action.

"Then lets go look," Sai whispered as if anything louder then that would break the blonde. "If it will prove to you that he didn't even care enough about you to even leave a note."

"It'll prove nothing, and even if it did it wouldn't matter. I will still love him Sai, you have no idea how I wish that I could just for give him and forget; you make it sound so simple. But I love him and this quest won't change that." Naruto said. He shook despite the fact that his house was comfortably warm.

"You're…scared? Sai's eye brows furrowed together; he had never felt the emotion himself but he had heard quite a bit about it over his life time.

"Yes," he admitted feeling absolutely pathetic. "I'm scared. I'm scared that you're right. I'm scared to go back there…alone." Thunder shook from his small body, clouds hazed over his eyes, and his once sky blue eyes produced rains; buckets and buckets of rain.

"You won't be alone," Sai said profoundly confused. "I'll be there." He went forward once again cupping the boy's cheek but he turned his head away.

"No," Naruto shook his head. "I mean, I'm scared to go back there without him.

"Please," Sai begged. "What id there is a note?" What if he did leave you something?" Sai was whispering again with what he considered to be a caressing tone to his voice. If Sasuke had left something for Naruto then his love and hope for the ravens return would only grow, but, assuming they found nothing, only his hate and wish that Sasuke would never come home would enlarge until it shoved that feeling the blonde had mistaken as love out of the way. Sai wouldn't ever even think of leaving Naruto behind after making love to him the way that Sasuke had.

"Why are you trying to help him?"

"Because I love you, and I'm not helping him. I wont you to see how much he doesn't care about you and how much that I do!" He said putting emphasis on every single word.

"No matter what we do or don't find I'll still love him Sai. I'll still love him."

"I know," _but I want you to love me. _

Naruto sighed and stood up, "If it will get you off of my back…" his voice crackled exampling how torn he was between actually going and staying here in the comfort of his house. Because of his expression Sai almost changed his mind and told him to sit back down but heart break aside; if that's what it would take for the boy to open his god damn eyes, then heart break is what Sai would give him.

"Alright, lead the way."

1—1

They walked to Sasuke's old apartment in silence for there was barley any breathing room between the two. Then they were outside of Sasuke's front door as if waiting for him to come and let them in. Sai listened attentively to Naruto's breathing pattern, it was heavy and constricted like there was coarse rope being knotted around his small neck. It was also broken somehow, split into discontinued gasps as he exhaled and inhaled but there was barley any difference between them as if his lungs were collapsing on the spot. Anyone could tell that he was frightened, Sai wouldn't have been surprised if suddenly the side of Naruto's pant leg was soaked; but he did nothing but stand back at a respectable distance and watch the show. It wasn't like the blonde boy would allow him to help anyway.

"I-I can't do this, Sai, I-I can't-I can't go in there." A shiver passed over the boy ignoring the mid-summer weather.

Sai did step closer but only so that Naruto could hear him. "It's just a room Naruto; this room hasn't haunted your every waking thought has it?" Sai said moving forward onto the ravens threshold and Wa La! with a good jerk of the knob the door opened easily enough and he stepped inside. Even if Naruto couldn't bare to step inside here he, at least, was going to find out if Sasuke said goodbye to the blonde after taking so many different things from him.

He flipped the light switch on and off. "Electricity works," he smirked back at the boy.

"Sai don't" Naruto scowled, but the older boy paid him no mind and continued to intrude. "Fine I'm coming." And he was at the black haired mans side in a second who look down at him triumphantly.

It looked like nothing had been touched in these past two years. Dust coated every surface, there even seemed to be small particles of it floating in the air that only the trained eye could see. Sai got the vibe that even though it was an inanimate object this place, too, was mourning for its master to come back home because what it a home without inhabitance. It was a pitifully sad sight to Sai who was actually quite a cleanly person and believed firmly in the teaching of personal hygiene at a young age. After all, that had been his job for a very long time; his missions consisted of cleaning up the messes that were made, sometimes, that included wiping them like a stain from planet earth.

They stopped walking in front of the open bedroom door. There Naruto's face paled in milliseconds.

"Hey," Sai put his hand on Naruto's shoulder and squeezed it lightly, "I'll look in the bedroom, and you take the living room and the kitchen alright?" Naruto made no noise but he nodded and then was gone.

Sai advanced on the room clearly avoiding the bed pushed up against one wall where he could now complete the image in his mind of Sasuke pounding into the blonde, them both tangled in the blue linen on Naruto's mattress back home. The picture made him sick to his stomach with jealousy.

Personal problems with this specific part of the apartment aside he began searching for something, anything that could have been from the raven as a goodbye to the boy rummaging through the rest of his flat. Finding nothing but an increasing appetite to scrub away all the filth surrounding the bed he dejectedly went to its blanket less mattress and continued his search.

And Eureka! After a moment or two of useless scrounging there was a folded up piece of paper on the floor a little ways under the bed frame. Sai snatched it up, think first and foremost of his love who would be greatly overjoyed upon seeing this note. So much hope this one measly sheet of paper would bring him.

He ran to the door in his own euphoria at actually having a chance to see the blonde real true smile aimed at him. About to call Naruto's name aloud and proclaim the good news…but the words got stuck in his throat. Sai brought up his hand to his face and opened it feeling positively torn in between his choices. This note would make the boy he claimed to love so happy, and he could be passing up his chance to see that smile displayed on his beautiful face instead of the ones he plastered on in the morning to disguise his broken heart. It would resurrect his sprit from the grave and he would laminate it and tuck it away in that dumb picture book he had been given last Christmas.

That happiness would be directed at Sai but it would not be for him; it would be for Sasuke and this note would make Naruto even more hard pressed to turn to Sai for love and affection despite all that Sai knew that he could offer him. The blonde love for his enemy would stand firm on the foundation of this note and he really would wait for ever just to be the first to welcome the raven haired boy home. That would leave Sai no room to wriggle his way inside the boy's heart. And he just couldn't have that.

So making up his mind he put the note away n his pants pocket making sure that none of it showed, that way it couldn't give him away so easily.

He walked coolly to the living room only to find it in complete disarray. And upon entering Naruto lifted head from where he sat isolated in his mess his eyes brimming with so many twinkles of hope in his eyes. And Sai's hand almost reached into his pocket to fork over the note, the thought of him smiling was almost to tantalizing for his own good.

Almost.

"Nothing Naruto. I'm sorry." He said putting on the show of his life and went to comfort the blonde who didn't hesitate this time to let Sai hold him.

1—1

_My dearest Naruto, _

_Wait for me_

_Love always_

_Sasuke _

Review please!


	15. Time

Killing had been an all too easy task for the raven. There is a statistic that explains how human beings don't know if they can kill another human being until faced with the choice. Though for Sasuke the prospect of it had hardly been a challenge, more like he had seen an opportunity to knock down the obstacles in the middle of his path and he had taken it. He was no fool though, and he'd only struck when he was absolutely sure that he had the upper hand against the one who had thought him and gave him all of this power (actually it was kind of ironic how it all played out). It would not have been wise trying to slaughter the snake the moment that the raven had entered his domain; of which the man thought he had so well control. Believe me when I saw that Sasuke wanted to just kill him or at least give him a good run for his money so that he could hurry back to the boy he loved so whole heartedly.

Patients had become a virtue while staying amidst Orochimaru and his self indulgent home; a pristine palace chock full of smoke and mirrors. Almost like a fun house except it was not fun and it was way to large to be considered a house, and here instead of clowns with juggling talents he had four armed ninja's able to spin spidery webs. In this three ringed circus he had learned how to fight with the strength of twenty Ambu black ops, that and how to not let his emotions get in the way of his training. Having the sole intention of keeping his blonde love safe he filed his emotions deep inside of his subconscious only to take out and admire like a greedy child when he permitted himself sleep, and even then he could not completely lose himself; one eyes had to be kept open.

Day in and day out he trained to be better then his brother, but first and foremost better then Orochimaru and Kabuto; those were the three people who would steal his love away from him and use the demon inside of him for their own intentions.

So he learned all that he was able just by watching, listening, and paying close attention to the thick environment around him—one where people disappeared left and right—while keeping up appearances that he didn't give a shit about anyone or anything but his own ambitions. He had been educated how to properly defend himself and how to wisely strike his opponent; where to hit and how. Accomplishing this wasn't just through hand to hand combat or when Orochimaru threw him into the crossfire giving him one word of advice, live. Orochimaru had also let him in on his plans to expand and dominate all the villages surrounding his even with such a little army to work with.

Because of this Sasuke had studied that trust was a weakness for, eventually, it was what caused the snakes down fall. He had been ignorant enough to trust someone who had the goal of destroying him and his god-forsaken empire from the beginning.

He trusted that the raven would actually honor their trade; the necessary skills to eliminate Itachi for Sasuke's body as a covering for his soul to wear. But Sasuke couldn't, no matter how firmly he believed in being a man of his word, he had someone to get back to and he wouldn't very well let someone have his body when it already belonged to Naruto. He couldn't allow himself to be taken from this earth when he had someone left to survive for.

And because of his will killing him had had been easy almost normal. He had almost relished in the sweet cracking of his neck and, his favorite part, the look of death shrouding his features. If he had brought the blood to his lips he would have almost exhilarated in the bitter disgusting taste. He had found a permanent way to deal with him, to shut him up forever. Then he shook the man's spiritual presence and planned to forget everything about the man who took away that chance to be with his dobe. He had no pity for his death. Pity required having some sort of affection for the man. He didn't even really hate him; for hate was an emotion that needed a heart to have. Sasuke had freely given that heart away. So he had nothing but his skill to associate himself with Orochimaru and therefore it made it easier to leave the memory of him behind.

And after that part of his revenge was over he had moved onto his next victim, and finding him and been the only semi-difficult part of killing him, his last of kin. Fighting him, he had expected that not to be easy, but they fought anyway. Sasuke with the help of his temporary team who had washed away just like a temporary tattoo; they had lost their lives to his cause just before he had delivered the final blow.

And that was that.

It was over.

He was free.

It did not matter that he was covered in quickly drying blood, his brothers and his own, he was free. Free from avenging his already avenged family. Free to go back to the one thing that he regretted leaving behind. He was now able to live his life with knowing that neither Orochimaru nor Itachi were alive and well, and now he could really just be with Naruto, who he loved with his whole existence. The only reason he had done what he did, all because he cared so deeply for him, although Naruto probably wouldn't be too happy that Sasuke had become a murderer in his name.

Killing in the coldest of blood had been simple—not the task but the act—but leaving his best friend behind had been one of the most difficult things that he had ever had to do; dragging his almost wasted body to a clearing and nursing himself back to perfect physical heath did not compare. He would not have made it this far if he had not promised himself that he would go back to the blonde. Surviving wouldn't have been worth it if he had nothing left to survive for. For him it was Naruto, who had always been his driving force, the beat to his once deceased heart, and the one thing he trusted even if he considered it a liability.

Although, Naruto was hardly a liability. Sasuke knew that the boy was more then capable of taking care of himself, but Sasuke had wanted to take care of him. Walking through the Konoha gates without him had been tough; to this day he wasn't sure how he had done that. How had he lived so long without a beating heart in his chest?

-Flashback-

It was warm in Sasuke's apartment but he was cold. Frozen in everything but time because it was trusted to pass by unnoticed when he wished that it would slow for a single second and allow him that one second to actually breath. But it would not slow its revolving tick tock, not even for an Uchiha, ones whose blood was absolutely pure in its line. Time would not let anyone control it besides its father and maybe mother time, but never a boy who just wished that he could spend a second more with his love. That's all that he could ask for was a second more frozen in time with his blonde, his dobe, his whole heart; it wasn't all that he wanted but a second more of time with his sure sounded nice because it was a second more he got to spend with Naruto.

Pale arms gripped tighter onto his tan beauty for he never wanted to let him go—not even in a million life times—but soon enough he would have to force himself to. Naruto sighed contently and in a halve awake sleep haze he nuzzled closer to the raven, and in turn his arms constricted tighter around him. Pressing their bodies flush against the other.

Sasuke tried desperately to burn the significant and also the insignificant things into his mind; the look of Naruto's body without cloths. He was an angel. Perfect in every single aspect and it made Sasuke wonder how anyone had ever mistaken him for a monster even if he did have one sealed inside of him. The sight of his sun kissed flesh, the red marks and love bites over his skinny but also toned limbs. His fingers and his toes, he burned the way that sweat had rolled down the curvature of his cute nose into his mind. His curves, only slightly feminine, and even the organ between his legs and the blonde curls that proved he didn't bleach his hair; Naruto was not particularly gifted in that area, but even so Sasuke loved every inch of him.

He made his hands never forget the feel of him, of running his hands over the boys' chest, through his soft hair, and all over his lower back side (AKA-his ass). The feel of his pert nipples when he rolled them between his fingers and between his teeth. The simple gesture of holding his hand or his lovely lips pressed against the ravens.  
And he didn't think that he could ever forget the feel of being inside of him, when their bodies had moved together as one, even if he did want to for some strange reason. The feel of making love with someone who had stolen his heart at five years of age and who had kept it exceptionally safe all of this time.

The sound of his moaning the ravens name; screaming his name when he did certain things. Sasuke had wanted to push it, to see how strongly lust could drip from his voice when Sasuke teased him for so long, but there would be other times and places to do so once he had returned. The sound alone of Naruto was enough to drive him wild.

The taste of the blonde—like salty sweet taffy which was more then perfect for Sasuke who did not enjoy overly sweet things as if Naruto's specific taste had been fashioned for Sasuke and no one but Sasuke.

The smell of them in the air tangled throughout his entire apartment and nicely accompanied by the sweet smelling night wind blowing through his open window. The scent of Naruto and him together making love was marked all over this place especially in this room, rubbed into these sheets. It was beautiful—like Naruto himself—and it made Sasuke feel absolutely alive when he was here with Naruto lying together in the aftermath of their love making.

He would never forget, even if he lived as long as god, never.

Naruto was sound asleep dreaming, calmly from the easy going breaths that Sasuke felt rise in the boy's chest and they also trembled against his neck. The raven untangled their fingers and absentmindedly ran his fingers through his blonde hair, fiddling with the ends of it. He was pretty amazed at how it could remain so soft even after such a rigorous activity.

The older boy looked out the window and sighed.

Time had not frozen itself in place for him, and now the clock indicated that it was time to go. It was the moment where he had to complete the act of hurt toward the boy who held Sasuke's life in his hands; bringing pain to Naruto would be a wound inflicted upon himself. His heart ached like never before. It wasn't like he was cutting those strings that tied them together but he was stretching them to their limit until almost his whole soul was pulled form his skin/

Naruto whimpered from loss of warmth when Sasuke painstakingly removed himself from the blonde's side. He slid his legs over the side and was hit by and immediate cold gust of wind. Naruto was flopping from side to side behind him trying to find the raven and hold him close once more. Sasuke turned back to the tossing boy and quickly brought the silky comforter to his chin, carefully tucking him in place. And then he stood—nakedness the farthest thing from his mind—Naruto consumed his thoughts, and only Naruto, especially how much hatred there would be in his love if he really did what he had to do, like bad blood.

After he watched Naruto settle back into a deep happy sleep Sasuke moved away and fetched some clean cloths out of his drawers not even bothering with a badly needed shower as he slid on his all black attire; he wanted to keep the blonde's scent with him as long as humanly possible.

He grabbed a pen and a small slip of paper off of his desk and sat back down on the edge of his bed by Naruto's feet. Sasuke put a hand on Naruto's upper thigh while groping for the right words to properly express how he was feeling, but he couldn't find them. He sat, stared at Naruto's adorable sleeping face, and probed his mind expecting a stroke of genius to hit him, but it never came. He didn't know what the right thing to say was, or even if he wanted to write this note at all—it would be a wasted effort if he did what he wanted, if he shook Naruto from his sleep and tell him to get dressed as quickly as he could, but Sasuke didn't have the heart to wake him much less tear him from his home; from his family.

Deciding on the only pathetic words that would come to mind he scribbled them down in his always elegant scrawl. He was not at all satisfied with it when he sat the note on his dresser next to the bed and put his pen along side it. Sasuke contented himself, though, with knowing that he would come back one day and then he could properly proclaim his love for the blonde. He would win him again even if in the future he got tired of waiting and then belonged to another; which he hoped to god would never happen.

Sasuke's eyes turned back to his sleeping love who had no idea how badly the raven was about to destroy the both of them. He shifted his weight so that he was right above the blonde and for a moment marveled in his intense beauty. How would he find the will to leave such a creature? How could he go when he loved him so much?

"I'm sorry." He whispered emotion ringing clear and true in his voice, although he didn't find the bleeding of his emotions all that strange.

Even though Sasuke was not normally a sentimental person the blonde beneath him filled him with distinct emotions that he hadn't felt in a very long time, and also things that were positively new to him. It was to the point where he thought that he would explode because he knew that his body wasn't meant to hold this much of his heart for just one person. But Sasuke had to remind himself that this was Naruto, the boy he would gladly _feel _emotions and the like for. To outsiders that may seem like an unimportant part of loving someone, but if anyone really knew him they would see how big of a deal that just experiencing affection for the blonde was.

And the fact that it was more then just a feeling he had for his dobe it was a whole stake of his physical being and also his mental one and forked them over all because of this dumb thing that he had learned as love. It had taken a hold of his heart and it drove him toward Naruto until he had to admit those feelings…

How ever, he had had no idea that it would scale to this point. He had wanted but one kiss, maybe two, but he never thought that he alone would have the privilege to be able to have the blonde's virginity; he never thought that he would get to make love to him. It had been the best memory that he had ever experienced and he wished that their love making could have lasted forever; past oblivion and into the after life, but like all things now all of that was just a memory. One of his most prized but still just a memory.

If he stayed it would continue to be a reality.

The thought was tantalizing but impossible. He touched the snakes seal on his neck. Absolutely impossible.

He gingerly ran his fingertips over the lines in the boys face—his three whisker marks, his small dimples, the fold of each of his eyelids, over his lips, and the inner and outer shell of his small ears—permitting his hands to remember everything about this boy he was destined to leave behind, but the one that he would come back for because of the love; because Naruto was his magic, his angel, his dobe.

Sasuke then brushed the blonde strands of hair out of his way and pressed his lips to the exposed patch of skin there. His lips found the boys left and then his right eye, every whisker on each cheek, down his jaw line—from the lobe of on ear down to his chin and then on to the next lobe. Then he kissed the boys ears again allowing himself a small nibble on each; this elicited a small gasp from the sleeping child and this cause Sasuke to back off a bit until he went back to his dreams. He came forward again and trailed kisses down his petite button nose. After a moments hesitation he pressed his lips to Naruto's in a haste movement; wishing that the boy was awake to feel his once in a life time ministrations.

What he had not been expecting was for Naruto's own lips to curve upward and kiss back even though he was still dead asleep. "Sasuke…?" or maybe not so dead asleep because his eyes—big, beautiful, and blue—opened and stared at the raven with so much admiration and love that it would have broken the older boy's heart if there had been anything at all left to break.

"Sasuke…" The blonde boy said pushing himself up onto his elbows unsteadily, "You look sad. Wha's da ma''er?" He mumbled in a sleep deprived state and quickly put his hand over his mouth to stifle a yawn that consumed his face.

The corners of Sasuke's mouth turned up in a smile. Even when he was about to leave them both devastated he was still able to smile at the blonde boys antics, and facial gestures, and purely at the raw beauty of him. My god, that was true, how was it not impossible to be this astonishing; he was like the eighth wonder of the world. Even when his chin crinkled distastefully in the yawn he was perfect. Absolutely so.

"Nothings that matter." He lied in a tone that mothers use to coo frightened children back to sleep and placed Naruto's head back on his pillow. Eyelids already dropping, Sasuke had the feeling that the blonde wouldn't remember any part of this conversation in the morning; he couldn't decide if he was grateful for it or loathed the thought of him forgetting. "Go back to sleep sweat heart." He caressed the boy's cheek and re-tucked him into a cocoon of blankets and ran his fingers through the hair of his love for the last time. The last time in a very long while.

"Sasuke?" Naruto whispered trying his best to stay awake, but his eyelids just were pulled by f=gravity more and more. Sasuke smirked at how cute he could be without even trying.

"Hm," he answered continuing to massage his loves scalp.

"I love you…"

Sasuke's throat closed up but he managed to return a strangled, "I love you too, sweetheart. So much." And he bent down to once again kiss his beloved's forehead. He watched as Naruto allowed himself to drift into a deep, deep sleep where he would be dreaming of the raven and his words of love that he wouldn't remember in the morning anyway and he wouldn't have a single fear of waking up without the raven. He was dreaming of happy things, warm comforting memories flittered through his mind, and he had no worries about waking up alone and that was just how Sasuke was about to leave him. Alone.

It was the first time since Sasuke parent's deaths that he felt like weeping. The flood gates hung by the lock on the chain. But the best emotion of sadness he could let fall before the blonde child, who he had ripped out his heart for, was to allow a few stray tears to prickle the back of his eyes. He could give him no more then that. Uchiha's did not cry.

He wiped away the imaginary tears off of his cheek with the back of his hand and stood away from the bed. His wanton eyes turned toward the Paine glass of the window finding beams of light reflecting off of it; dawn was on the horizon. Time to go, really this time. And still he went back to Naruto's side planning to give him just a bit more of a goodbye. Sasuke touched the boys face and let out a silent sigh finding the stinging pain in his chest getting worse and worse; he was already missing the boy even before he actually left him.

"Goodbye…" he whispered feeling as if he had committed a massive sin against himself and against Naruto, "…for now." That didn't make the darkness subside any, not when he was about to walk away from the light. He let his lips linger on the blondes for a couple of seconds feeling his heart come alive within that moment and pump a little of his blood around. Naruto was the only one his heart belonged to, the only one who had it all along and the raven hadn't even noticed until a couple of months ago.

And as selfish as he was he sort of wished that he had never noticed it, saying good bye wouldn't be that hard if he didn't love him so much. All in all though he was glad. Glad because his dobe loved him too.

Then he was gone.

1—1

He had never given up, never forgotten any miniscule detail about the blonde, and he had never broken his promise to the blonde boy he left behind three and a halve years ago (God that's a long time without the blonde, but it had seemed longer. seconds dragged like centuries, years, he had lived without life for three of them) and he had most certainly kept the promise he made to himself.

After all was said and done, and Sasuke had no more missions, he ran as fast as his legs would carry him—that is when he was well enough after the gruesome battle that raged with his brother. He had been running for four days straight. He had not stopped once; not to eat, or drink, not to sleep, not even to get some of the feeling back in his legs. His own body and health were of no concern when he was so close to getting to return to his love once again. If his eyes permitted him a last look upon Naruto's faces then he would die4 a happy man. And if he got to hold Naruto once more, his heart would come alive again and would pound in the most joyous way, and he acted like this because it was crystal clear that Sasuke loved Naruto.

Loved him with everything that he had, and no amount of money could ever take that away.

And now, the gates of Konoha, the place of his childhood, were in view and his beloved lie just beyond that. How static the once stoic teen was to greet him in this life.

His legs faltered just inside the gates, but he maintained his feet and stopped. Sunlight filtered down on his face for the first time in years.

He had made it back.

Finally he was here.

His mother had told him just before she was murdered that home is where the heart is.

It felt so good to be home!

--

Okay A-should I be mean to Sasuke B-Should I be nice to Sasuke?

Feedback? I love you all!

Review please!


	16. The Real Raven

Peoples faces fell prey to shock when they realized that it was an older version of the younger Uchiha prodigy strolling through town with a nothing expression on his face. They paid him plenty of mind but he gave them nothing in return. Not even a little growl telling them to just back off a little and leave him be. He was searching in his own way through his cold exterior. It would case a fuss if he screamed Naruto's name and began to interrogate anyone he passed in the street about the blondes where-a-bouts. They would think he had gone off of his rocker; and that would just not do. Uchiha's did not ask for help save for when it could not be avoided (the assistance he had gained from Orochimaru for example).

So he walked down the street calmly knowing that his dobe would come to him soon enough, it wasn't a very large village after all. That didn't mean that he wasn't looking for his love, but what good would it do him to rush around and make a mad fool out of himself; he cursed his up-bringing.

Besides he needed this little extra bit of time to get his thoughts in order; like what was he going to say when he did come in close contact with the blonde again? What excuse could he give for his absents: one that wasn't completely lame anyway? He was sure that a straight forward 'Sorry I took your virginity then high tailed it to Orochimaru's' just wouldn't do. But sadly enough that was one of the few things that would come to his mind, and to think he had once prided himself on his superior eloquence. He hated that even something as simple as thinking about Naruto made him this way; tongue tied. Sasuke was _not _girly in the least and here he could be found acting like a flustered school girl even if he did not look it.

He was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't take the time to notice how the villagers gawked at him like he was on an extraterrestrial parading the streets with a hool-la-hoop hugging everyone. Children stopped their games and pointed, everyone, young and old, did a double take when he passed by them; eyes wide, mouths open they flaunted their shock without shame.

1—1

Sakura was just stepping out of the grocery store where she had purchased little Hajime a birthday present. She and Hajime's mother had pooled their money to buy it. The pink haired girl was confused by the cluster of people surrounding…something? They intently followed this thing like it was the messiah come to rapture them all up to heaven and those who did not believe down to hell. Some of them were even weeping. Watering their cheeks with tears of either joy or sadness; she couldn't tell.

She hoisted her brown paper bag higher up onto her hip profoundly curious at what all the hall-a-ba-loo was about. Surely this gathering was not for Hajime's birthday today. No, that couldn't be it; no one outside of the family and friends cared that the raven was three years old today.

Her eyebrows creased together in utmost confusion as she watched them shuffle down the road after the tall figure, but for the life of her she could not get a good view as the man's face no matter how hard or at which angle she strained her neck to see over the mass of people. Damn them, she thought, she always wanted to be the first to know all the latest gossip when talking with her ex-Sasuke-fan-girl-acquaintances.

Sakura ran after the mob trying her best to get a better look at the guy…or really masculine girl? that they were following. But she couldn't! The mass's wouldn't let her, and she didn't particularly feel like a swim through the sea of people.

She happened to notice through that all of them were in this trance like state; what could have put them in this great mind-set of awe? Has some celebrity come to visit their lowly village? Perhaps and ex-con? Had someone risen from the graveyard right outside of town? She wondered meekly, letting her thoughts run rampant, raking her brain for any one person that could put the whole dang town in this state. She couldn't think of anyone besides Sasuke and she really hoped that it wasn't him…for Naruto's sake.

Done playing the 'wait and see' game she fished out a girl from the people and asked, "What's all the commotion about?"

"Well," the stranger's eyes lit up at the telling of the story. "I was walking from my garden with a pot of roses for my friend because she needed a little color in her windowsill; just to brighten it up a bit, you know? I was just walking along, minding my own business, and that's when I saw him!" He youthful eyes widened as she wriggled like she had to hurry to the restroom. She was younger then sixteen year old Sakura but a lot actually.

"Who? Who did you see?" She asked impatiently tiered of the girls pee-pee dance and was more then ready for her to get on with the story.

"Sasuke-kun…" She stopped mid-dance and said that in a tone that suggested she thought Sakura was mentally impaired. "Who else?" Who else indeed but the one person Sakura had hoped for it not to be, anyone but him.

Dread befell Sakura who thanked the girl who was more then grateful to return to the mass of people steadily growing larger. It had to be a mistake. The girl must have thought that she had seen Sasuke when really it was just someone else who resembled him. For him to really be back in this village was absolutely impossible. Sasuke couldn't be back. It just couldn't be true. The girl was so young; she could have easily mistaken him for someone else. She just couldn't accept that it was him.

In her disbelief she pulled another person aside and asked them the same question she had asked the girl giving him a tone of honest curiosity not unrivaled doom….and then, that person's answer was the _same_. All of their answers were the same. They were out and about in the town going something that was just a part of their everyday routine and they saw him. Saw who? Saw who? She'd ask them the panic setting in at her franticness for a different answer, for the right one, because it had to be someone else, anyone else but him.

But they disappointed her and they did it so god-damned happily, like it was the best thing that has ever happened in the history of history; which it wasn't. Not for her brother, Naruto, who had just barely began to cope with his personal loss of the raven, and now they were saying that he was _here_? Back, think of it, how would they say what needed to be said? How would they tell him he was a father? Assuming of course, that it was him which it just couldn't be.

It was obvious she didn't believe them; more like she didn't want to. She had to see him with her own eyes. So she pushed her way through her fellow villagers getting a few 'Hey!'s' and 'Watch where your going's' but she couldn't care less about them or what they thought. She needed to prove to the rest of them that they were wrong and have them admitted for deliria, and to check their water source, and god knows what they were taking.

She finally made it to the front and she could see and there was no mistaking him for someone else. Not after she had thought to love him for so long.

"Sasuke?" She whispered as her heart rate began to quicken but not because it was reacting to him, she had given up her love for him a long time ago, but it was reacting because she was nervous and scared for his return. Screw Sasuke, what in the world would they tell Naruto? What would they say to him? So much explaining to do and why was the Uchiha back after all of this time anyway? Or, she hoped, for whom? Life had over turned a new leaf and Sakura wasn't sure she liked what she saw.

He stopped when he heard his name and turned toward her. "Sakura?' he said. "You look well." What a very Uchiha-y thing to say like he had only seen her yesterday not almost four years ago. His expression was blank, uncaring and cold. Oh yes, how like an Uchiha.

Her first instinct was to hug him, to wrap her arms around him, to ask him how his trip was and a million other questions. To go along with this game, like he had only just come back from vacation. The second was to lash out with her fists and shout out her questions in an accusatory tone. But she took neither option and walked up to him. My how he had grown, well, almost for years tended to do that to people. Still he was much taller then when he was fourteen.

"Come with me." she said a bland note to her tone of voice no matter how loudly her inner Sakura screamed at the top of her lungs 'Pretend he's a punching bad and make him swallow his teeth!' and though the idea was awfully tempting she didn't listen. She decided that she would make time later to beat his face in, for now she had to bring his to Tsunade.

He nodded and followed her; the mob of people coming along for the ride.

Sakura was getting angry with them or getting in her way when she did the simple act of walking down the street because they had caused her to trip many times. And when she stumbled once more it happened to be on her last nerve. "Oh shove off!" She yelled finally taking her anger out on someone. They only watched Sasuke closely and immediately dissipated when he waved them away with the flick of his wrist which just pissed Sakura off more. They obeyed him like he was some sort of god come to give them their latest hopes and wishes. He was no god though, he was a human made of flesh and blood contrary to popular belief.

The raven and the cherry blossom stopped at a mediocre sized house that had a purple tricycle, a porch swing bombarded by toys on an assortment of open book, several balls were on the roof, and lots of jump ropes hanging over the porch rail, and other random children's things littered the front yard. The Uchiha looked down at his feet at the hop-scotch scribblings underneath them. Also the larger blonde then smaller raven haired stick figures covered every patch of the side walk. First impressions weren't always the best because Sasuke thought that a bunch of ingrate children must have lived in the house and sadly he wasn't that far off. And why were they stopping here anyway? The Hokage's office wasn't for a few more blocks, unless it had been moved here to this house filled with lots of ingrate children.

Sakura opened the gate and walked down the pathway and stood before a screen door held open with a plush doll and she faced the raven. "You stay here!" She commanded pointing to the ground like Sasuke was a disobedient puppy or something along those same lines. He didn't exactly appreciate being treated this way, but all the same he nodded and stood his ground in the spot aforementioned.

The cherry blossom sighed then took a deep breath and entered the house. She first went to the living room frantically searching for Tsunade, but her face wasn't among these.

"You guys seen Tsunade?" She asked putting her brown bag gift down wit the rest of Hajime's presents, many three year old kick knacks. She noticed the beautifully decorated cake with purple and orange flowers spider webbing all across the white icing then had Happy Birthday written with the sloppiest hand writing known to man—how very Naruto. She scooped some icing off of the bottom where little hands had already infiltrated and sucked it off of her fingers.

"Outside," Neji offered since he and Kiba were the only ones in the room.

"Why?" asked his counter part who instantly got up off of Neji's lap to look her straight in the eyes so that she could easily lie to him.

"Just look out the damn window." She instructed lazily, thrusting her thumb in that direction.

Kiba did as he was told wagging his ass a little to exaggeratedly because he knew that Neji was probably watching his the whole way and undressing him with his eyes; he liked to tease him every chance that he got. He smirked back at his boyfriend telling him that he knew exactly what he was doing and bent over to stick his head out of the window.

"Holy mother of god! What the fuck is that bastard doing here?" He roared coming up and hitting his head on the window's frame.

'So now you see why I need Tsunade." she crossed her arms over her semi-flat chest.

"Fuck Tsunade," he screamed stampeding over to the front entrance despite the stars in his vision from banging her head. "I'll the fucking fucktard myself." But Neji caught him before he could and brought him kicking and screaming back to the living room.

"Shut-up will you! Do you want Naruto coming here to see what the matter with you?" Sakura scolded and Kiba shut-up good and quick when she slapped that muzzle on him. "Now, I'm going to go get Tsunade so that I can get her take on the situation. In the meantime you are to do nothing to Sasuke no matter how badly you want to, you got that?" She raised a menising eyebrow.

"Sasuke?" Neji asked, bewildered that the raven had chosen to come back now of all times.

"I said I'd fuck up the fucktard, what other evidence did you want?" Kiba's was livid fighting off Neji's hands so that he could possibly get back to the door; he wanted to be able to attempt to kill the Uchiha because of what he had done to Naruto…If Neji had done that to him…he involuntarily shivered and reinstated his driving force. They didn't want Kiba to try and fight Sasuke; they both knew that he would probably just get his ass kicked if he tried.

"Guy's!" She yelled over the two of them although they weren't making noise. "Promise me you won't try anything." Her foot tapped menacingly on the carpet.

Kiba huffed like a puppy after a temper tantrum and leaned back in Neji's awaiting lap who immediately began to comfort him. "Fine," he pouted. Neji gave her a solitary nod and went back to hush his riled up lover, rocking the boy from side to side on the couch now that Kiba was finally giving in.

"Good," And she went to the backyard through the sliding glass door. Sakura spotted a grumpy Tsunade who was, to her great misfortune, sitting and talking with Naruto. How in the hell was she going to pull this off? Naruto had become deceptively clever because of becoming a mommy and could tell when anyone was lying to him. She'd just have to roll with it she supposed walking up to them.

"Hey guy's…" She said as enthusiastically as she could because that's how she was supposed to be today, but a plastic smile was the best she could manage when she looked at her brother and thought about who was on the porch.

Hey Sakura." They said at about the same time but Naruto had a little more vigor then Tsunade. "What cha need?" This time it was only Naruto who spoke such joy in his eyes and on his lips and she knew that he had almost regained it; that real true smile Sai always blabbed on and on about. Such happiness that he had with him now and that was why she was so keen on keeping their guest away from Naruto for the time being. Sasuke return was such a sore spot that had been rubbed raw for Naruto who still loved the raven more then anything (excluding his baby) in the world but he was such a kill joy subject.

She mentally sighed. Why now? Why after all of this time had he decided to come back to them? Sure, it would be awfully nice to have him back once they got all of this worked out (like telling the raven that he had a daughter and a son) but right now this charade was just troublesome. And it was going to be so very difficult explained things to both of them. Especially when there was no guaranty that any of this would go well because she had no prediction as to how Naruto was going to react to him. That was why they needed a plan of action or else all of this happiness was going down the tubes.

"Uh, I was just hoping I could borrow Tsunade for a bit." She held up her fingers to show him the tiny minute she needed with her and gave him a pleading smile; at least this one wasn't fake.

"Are you gonna show Tsunade what we gat Hajime for her birthday?" He all but whispered knowing that there were three year old ears lurking around here somewhere; she had already tried to sneak peaks at her presents a million times. To prevent this they had confined her and Ramen (her partner in crime) to the back yard and put Neji and Kiba on guard duty.

"Yeah I need some help wrapping it." She was amazed at how good that had sounded coming from her mouth; not like a lie at all.

"Oh, well I could help you." He offered setting down his glass and un-propping his feet.

"Uh, no that's okay, you sit there and relax. We'll be just a minute," _Smooth Sakura, smooth. _

She hurried waving her hands out in front of her wildly, okay, so maybe she wasn't as good of a liar as she thought that she was, and that was her trying her hardest at it too. Naruto was to good for this; for Sasuke to be out of his life for three years and seven months and then to pop back in one day acting like he had no cares in this world. As much as she did want to she couldn't trust the raven with Naruto, not after what he had done to him.

"You didn't buy her sake behind my back did you?" Sakura almost sighed with relief. Of course Naruto would never figure that Sasuke was back and that's why they were being so secretive; he would think that something so innocent was going on like her merely buying alcohol for the alcoholically deprived. This was one reason why she loved him so much; he always gave her an escape route.

"You got me," she chuckled, "I just got her one bottle though. I hid it in the flower basket thingy outside. So if you'll stay here and make absolutely sure that Hajime stays put I'll with her to get her quick fix and we'll be back in time to open presents." She laughed hamming it up a bit. "You know how grumpy she gets without her alcohol." But the ham died away in her throat as she waited for Naruto to buy her attempts to herd Tsunade into the house and onto the porch.

"Well…" he said patently, "I guess that would be…"

"Okay cool! See you!" Sakura jumped at the chance to pull Tsunade out of her chair and drag her to the living room.

"…alright." He finished. He sniffed. Something was up. How come every time something important came up he was the only on kept in the dark. He just hoped it wasn't the Sai incident all over again.

"Christ brat, what the fuck was that about?" Tsunade yelled fighting to regain control over her own arm. She had better receive actual sake for all of this running about besides the stuff that she had actually stashed in the flower baskets to high for little Hajime to reach.

"Chill, you'll see in a second." She growled and opened the front door to unveil a slightly cationic looking Sasuke who had been counting wood grains in the door.

"Holy hell," Tsunade said, in to much shock to scream…well this was certainly unexpected. "What the fuck do you think you're doing here Uchiha-brat?" Sasuke said nothing and did nothing besides look down at Tsunade. She found the same exact emptiness that was in Naruto's eyes the first two years that the raven was gone. Not like the raven mattered though, what did matter was what right did he think he had to come back now after all of this time had passed.

"My words exactly…" scowled Sasuke. Kiba nodded coming the porch to gang up on their new arrival.

"So what are we going to do?" Neji asked wrapping his arms around his boyfriend.

Tsunade sighed rubbing her temple while Sakura pinched the bridge of her nose. "Were going to do the only thing we can." The blonde women's arms folded over her chest with a constricted look on her face "were going to have to tell Naruto. But don't you dare think that you're off the hook, young man. What I ought to do is have you put to death for all the things that you put Naruto through." Sakura and Neji and Kiba all nodded in agreement.

"Tsunade," He bowed his head slightly, "you look well." He didn't need to be reminded of his transgressions he already knew how many sins he had committed.

"Are you broken?" asked Sakura giving him an incredulous look.

"Just go get Naruto." Tsunade barked refraining herself from pointing to the back yard where the blonde was located.

"Why should I?"

"Because I said so damn it!" She exploded then regained some of her composer. "Look. I don't like this situation and better then you do and believe me when I say that I would rather dispose of his testicles here and now a thousand times over instead of handing him over to Naruto. But also think about how Naruto's going to react if it isn't us who tell him first because by now the news has spread all over the town. Though he will not go unpunished; I'll probably only put under house arrest. Naruto wouldn't be very happy if I didn't hear him out before I sent him to the gallows." She blew out like one long breath and reached up to retrieve her alcohol. "So go get him." She downed the first halve of her bottle in one swig. Skills.

Sakura bowed and then disappeared for a minute or so, leaving them all uncomfortable on the porch. Then she came back with Naruto her hands clasped over his eyes. "What is it?" The blonde boy frowned in thought, "You better not have given me some kind of blind date."

Time ages us all but it had only made Naruto more beautiful. He had grown only about three inches taller. He was almost exactly the same, but different too. Either way he was more beautiful then ever. He was still the lithe innocent boy he remembered with the face of an angel.

"Momma!" A little girl squealed running up and latching onto Naruto's pant leg, barring her face into his thigh as if to hide in plain sight from a grown up Hinata running after her.

"Hey sweet heart," he bent over to free his leg and scooped her right up into his arms; Sakura managed to keep her hands over Naruto's eyes the whole time even when he began to swing the little girl from, side to side a tiny smile hidden in his cheeks.

"Sorry I couldn't keep her contained to the backyard. Slippery little thing." Hinata huffed with more confidence then he remembered. She ticked the little girls back and they just laughed and laughed until Hinata turned his way.

But he ignored the priceless look on her face; the little girl threw him off a bit. Who was she? Could she be Naruto's…daughter? Hinata and Naruto's baby. Sasuke couldn't have expected the blonde to come gallivanting back to him and let him make sweet love to him once more. No he couldn't have, but he had hoped for a similar reaction or at least one that didn't involve his and Hinata's child. a full blown blood relative; he could tell that she was Naruto's baby because the little girl had the same facial shape, lips nose, hands, and ears as Naruto, even her eyes were almost the same color. Though he could just barley associate the girls raven locks with Hinata's plain back ones.

A child; it absolutely blew Sasuke's mind. This he had not been expecting at all. There was no winning him back when Hinata and him shared blood. What he would have given to be the father of that precious baby girl.

"Hey did the party move to the front…yard?" Iruka said opening the screen door and as soon as he laid eyes on the strange or not so strange intruder his smile transfigured into a predatory growl as he mover in front of the blonde as if to block him from Sasuke voo-doo magic or something. "What the hell are you doing here?" Iruka's arms spread to protect his son from someone who had done and would bring harm to him.

"Who?" Naruto piped up curious beyond all belief.

They ignored him.

Kakashi strolled after his lover, his nose stuck in a once orange book (Naruto had made him fashion it with a paper bag book cover in case Hajime magically learned to read) "Hey, nice to see you again." Sasuke bowed his head ever so slightly to his old sensei. Iruka's glare turned to him and the silver haired man shrugged his shoulders quickly and brayed his nose deeper into the book well warn pages to escape Iruka's wrath until it turned back to Sasuke.

"Were you actually going to let him see Naruto this soon? He needs to be interrogated first. To make sure he isn't being controlled by that damn snake of a man." He was being oh so careful not to be to concrete so that Naruto could put the pieces together. Iruka's fists clenched and he ground his teeth together producing a god awful sound; this was to keep himself from doing anything rash, for doing anything to Sasuke that Naruto might make him regret later on.

Tsunade put one arm over her chest up under her elbow and pressed her fingers to her forehead. "If he was being controlled by that snake of a man he would have made his move upon seeing me or Sakura, and he would not have come alone. I know the man much better then you. This isn't him." She spat at his ignorance. Orochimaru liked big shows when he made his plan to strike, but she understood and let him have his reasons for his anger even if he was wrong about the things that he supposed about the snake man who used to be one of her very best friends.

"But still do you think it's wise to let," Iruka waved his hand in Sasuke direction angrily, "Him actually talk with Naruto so easily. We don't even know the reasons behind his actions, all of them." Iruka growled although Sasuke couldn't care less about the glares he was receiving from Naruto's family. Sasuke main and only focus was Naruto and Iruka knew it.

Tsunade grunted a small annoyed grunt, "You do remember the last time we kept Sai's identity from him, he didn't talk, much less look, at any of us for a month! Do you want this to be a repeat of that but ten times worse?" She grimaced as did Iruka he did indeed remember all the times he called and was hung up on.

"No I guess not, I just don't trust him." _Not with Naruto._

"Who, dang it?" Naruto interrupted stamping his foot harshly. Sasuke smirked; impatient as always, just as he remembered except Naruto would have actually cursed. Maybe becoming a parent changed his motor skills for the better—Sasuke hadn't liked it when he swore anyway it didn't suit his beautiful innocent face.

"Momma, who is that man?" Sasuke marveled at the little girls speech skills. Naruto had taught her well, plus she was cute a button.

"I dunno, Sakura won't let me see." This also threw Sasuke off, he had been expecting Hinata to answer, but she had not. Naruto had. Maybe she was not her child after all and Naruto and Hinata were not lovers, and the blonde was up for the taking especially for Sasuke's greedy hands.

"Momma, he looks like Daddy, from the pictures." She whispered into her mother's ear staring openly at who she believed looked exactly like her father. At least that is what she had been told all of her life by her mother. The many bed time stories she heard about her supposed father who was never around. She felt his absents because her mommy missed him so much.

Naruto's breath caught as he reached up to remove Sakura's hands. She did not fight him and let her finger blind fold fall away. No one moved, on one breathed as the two teens took in the others sight, drinking in the presence of the other. Naruto's eyes were wide with sock and part disbelief as if his mind was still playing tricks on him.

The blonde put Hajime down on her feet and she was quickly intercepted and had her attention refocused by a fierce tickling; her giggles pieced the dead air. Naruto pushed past his dad as if he wasn't even there; the man looked at him a twinkle of disapproval in his eyes but he did not stop him although he itched to run him back into the house and brainwash him into believing that this whole Sasuke-returning-business was just a lonely fragment of his imagination. But he couldn't. His heart wouldn't allow him to disrupt the expression of unabashed joy coveting all of Naruto's face, not just parts of it.

The blonde stepped up to the raven and reached the head height difference to touch the ravens face. To make sure that this—that he—was real. To make sure that this time it wasn't his mind toying with his fragile emotions like always.

And it wasn't! Underneath his fingertips was the real raven and not just some cheep imitation; not this time. This one his heart had been longing for since the day that he had awoken without him. "Your back." He whispered. Those words sounded foreign to even his own ears. It was different those words being true. It wasn't strange enough to be weird though, in fact Naruto enjoyed them tremendously.

Naruto's arm reeled back in a second and landed Sasuke with an excellent right hook. The ravens head turned to the side ever so slightly but it was not enough force to make him stagger.

The blonde looked down at his hand shakily; _damn that had felt good. _

Sakura's fist pumped the air.

"What was that for dobe?" Sasuke hissed remembering the good ol' days when the two bickered like an old married couple but still remained closer then brothers.

"You-you know exactly what that was for, teme." Naruto's sky blue eyes were swimming in his tears and without thinking about anything but how much pain he had been the cause of, Sasuke took a step forward and held the blonde child close to him. Naruto did not refuse him such a privilege. It made the older boys heart leap in his chest happily but he did notice Iruka's jaw tighten. How Iruka envied him.

Sasuke comforted his love best he could because he wasn't very good at it and didn't really know how. He ran his fingers through Naruto's hair and rubbed small circles into his back; his hands sneaking up under his winter jacket—it was the middle of January.

After finishing off her sake Tsuande contributed, "Lets go inside, it's fuc-freaking freezing out here." Everyone agreed simultaneously, all of them but Sasuke and Naruto who did nit move from their public display of affection. They were both far to content to move out of fear that the mirror would shatter and they would be left hollow once more; without the other. Sasuke in a skin cell prison without hope of breaking free, and Naruto a broken hearted single mother. For Sasuke there was no returning and Naruto had given up all hope of that dream of his ever coming true.

"Momma!" The little girl squealed and his love jerked away from the raven embrace in an instant just in time to catch her up into his arms. Sasuke almost growled at her for ruining their reunion moment. "Granny said that we can open presents now, and then we can have cake!"

"Did she?" Naruto sniffed and discreetly wiped away his tears. "Well we better get to it then."

"Hey, mister are you coming?" Hajime asked the picture of her dad come to life. Sasuke was completely perplexed at the invite even though he did not let it show. He nodded none the less, and felt awkward following them into the actually quite quant home; the front of the house didn't give away its true beauty.

Naruto sat leaving just enough room for Sasuke to sit with the rest of the family; the air was thick over their heads.

Hajime tore into her presents when she was instructed to do so and each time she would hold her treasure up to Naruto who would appease her with a smile and a 'That's nice, baby, be sure to thank whoever for whatever' but this was practiced speech. He had eyes only for Sasuke and Sasuke only for him.

He was back.

Finally

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HEY! Want to know more about Sasuke's time without Naruto? Review! Seriously or else I won't know what to write next chapter!!!! O.o

This was nice to Sasuke…right?

REVIEW!!


	17. Cake

IM ALIVE! MWAHAHAHAHA! But seriously I've been in hiatus for far too long. I'm sorry this chapter is late. I had no problems writing it, I just hate typing and therefore postponed the release date until I felt like sitting down and typing this. Alas I digress and will let you get on with the story, although most of you probably skipped ahead, I just wanted to say I was sorry.

Cake; it was wonderful. Especially when it was Naruto's daughters third birthday and it was even more wonderful because Sasuke was actually around to watch him enjoy it. Also the baked good served as a great distraction from the mentioning of the events of the last four years the raven was missing, not that Naruto wasn't excited to listen to Sasuke's side of the story. No, far from that. His own side he was the teensiest bit hesitant to share with his reappeared love. He was thinking that maybe Sasuke didn't want his high reputation stained by a child born by a boy. It was possible that the raven didn't even want to have children; not this young anyway.

So cheers to cake! May its ultimate sugary goodness always have this good of great timing.

He praised the cake while he finished lighting the three purple candles on Hajime's about to be devoured out of love baked good. She clapped enthusiastically for its ultimate sugary goodness as well, but for a completely different reason. The blonde boy chuckled at his daughters antics as did everyone around the table. He poked her cute button nose with his index finger softly, watching her cross her eyes to see and laughed. Also the raven was watching them from the corner of his eye, and all the family was keeping tabs on him. Naruto was secretly overjoyed that all the while Sasuke had his blackened eyes on him as well. That had to be a plus for that blonde. It had to mean something; it just had to.

Singing transpired, and some howling—on Ramen's part—and the muffled sound of noise makers making noise. Hajime puffed out her cheeks, more than ready to spit out her candles and dig in, but was stopped by two of her mother's fingers which popped her balloon cheeks. A bewildered look crossed her features before staring—steadily growing more confused—up at her mother.

"Make a wish baby," he justified his action. Hajime smiled and nodded fiercely her raven curls bouncing right along with her head. Biting her lip she began to then to turn the cogs in her brain, thinking very hard over what she was going to wish for because, according to her mom it would, by default, come true. Then she lit up like one of her birthday candles sending a toothy grin to the man in the back, and blowing out her birthday candles like a pro.

At the disappeared flame and melted wax she started clapping, and giggled, "Cake!" Even normally unsentimental Sasuke couldn't block the small smile that submerged onto his lips from the place he struggled to hide his emotions. That girl was just too cute; she took after her mother. Even if she meant that Naruto had been with, or even _belonged _to another man. He was able to shove the smile from his lips and back under the bed and they reverted back to their customary scowl. However, he couldn't bring himself to so much ass dislike the little girl. She was Naruto's. She was precious.

Picking up the knife Naruto cut thick slices of cake. When he was finished he passed them out with a wide smile. The whole family was blinded by its sheer brilliancy. It was perfectly clear how much the young boy—still a child in most of their eyes—loved the raven; more then he said he did even. And now that raven was back in the same fashion that he had left (without warning). Thus their son/grandson/ brother/mother was complete and just bubbled with positive energy. He glowed. So much so that he put the sun to shame. Iruka's heart lightened probably the most, not because of the smile on his lips, but instead the one in his eyes.

The blonde boy gathered up the last three pieces; absolutely oblivious to the stares he was receiving from everyone around the table, and a pair of curious black eyes. He placed one of the three pieces before his darling daughter who wasted no time devouring the baked sugar rush. The second piece he set out for himself and the last he brought nervously to his love in the back looking rather out of place; he somewhat reminded Naruto of a sore thumb.

"Um, h-hey," Naruto spoke through his bitten lip. His face was redder then a ripe tomato. Sasuke couldn't help but smirk down at him. "You want some cake?" He lifted the cake. "It's chocolate."

"No thank you, Naruto." Sasuke spoke like the gentleman he was raised to be. He was also partway in awe that little things like being able to speak his loves name with him being in close enough range to hear him would make him feel so glorified. So lucky. He was so lucky to have this angel standing there in front of him; and it all felt right.

"Oh yeah, you don't like sweets…that's right…" Naruto's expression conveyed that he was mentally beating himself for not remembering that one detail about the boy—now man—no matter how small. Especially because it was about this man, the one he had claimed to love. That was a part of Sasuke; that he didn't like sweets. And here he could be found swaying from foot to foot before the god of punctuality looking and feeling like an idiot. _If the shoe fits, right? _He thought bitterly, resisting the urge to hit something.

In case he further embarrassed himself, he turned to leave. The blood from the rest of his body was being sucked up to his cheeks. Naruto almost hated himself for being so easy to read; but that really wasn't why he hated himself.

However, he was able to even take a single step because a strong arm made its way around his waist and held him in place. His big blue eyes threatened to pop out of their sockets and roll around on the floor. "What are you doing?" Came his screechy voice as he halve heartedly struggled to escape.

"Hey," Sasuke said with a still tone calming the blonde instantly as he had done in a previous life. "Don't you dare beat yourself up. It's been four years almost." The raven swept blonde bangs from blue eyes and pressed his lips to the exposed patch of skin; he tasted just as he thought he would, only a hell of a lot better. He pulled away mostly because he noticed how hard the blonde was shaking in his boots. Besides that there was the death glare that Iruka was sending his way. The brunette clenched his spork so tightly it broke in two under the pressure, like he hoped Sasuke would, and bounced under the table. Sasuke wasn't intimidated. He would back off of his property if and only if Hajime's father showed up and Naruto ran into his arms instead of his.

Sasuke took the quivering cake from quivering hands and placed it on the tiny book shelf behind him, thus enabling him to pull Naruto close and box him in the circle of his arms. "I missed you," he breathed on a tan neck softly. He was pleased when Naruto practically melted into him.

"I missed you too," he whimpered, re-biting his lip and let his brain wonder about what time he was going to wake up alone, like usual. When this real live Sasuke would be cast to the pile of other raven haired illusions he had pealed from his dreams and pasted into reality. He hoped that he would never have to wake up alone again, this was the dream that he wanted to stay in forever as long as this Sasuke stayed in here with him. Maybe he had fallen asleep during the party and everyone, far too concerned with his heath, had decided not to wake him and had just carried him to bed.

That was the only thing that made sense because the raven couldn't really be here making all of his dreams come true. Still, he wanted to keep on producing little z's for a couple more hours. Dream or no, it felt nice to be in Sasuke's arms again. Hell, it felt nice to feel his presence again and be by his side once more. Naruto knew that it was where he belonged.

"You know that I didn't want…"

"Mommy!" Hajime squealed; that was two times now that she had ruined on particularly fluffy moment between them, and this time Sasuke really did scowl at her when Naruto pulled out of his arms to give his daughter his full attention. Sasuke had always envisioned competing with another man for Naruto's attention not some no-name brat. "Momma, Granny said that we could go and watch Finding Nemo, come on!" She tugged at his hand.

He giggled with her. "I'll be there in a minute. Start it without me, 'kay?" Naruto gave her a look and she gave him one to match.

She eventually gave in and pouted, "'kay." She couldn't defeat the master at puppy dog pouts.

"That's my good girl," he swooped in to kiss her on the cheek and tickle his little girl for a minute. Then he patted her on the butt and commanded her to, "Scoot," lovingly. She laughed again and led the swarm of Naruto's relatives, who had minds to stomp over and verbally abuse Sasuke ten times over for so much as touching Naruto after the hell that he put him through. They moved right along though when Naruto shooed them away with his hands.

The blonde turned around and walked back to Sasuke, his hands in his pockets and a new found blush pinching his cheeks. He stood about two feet from his love thinking that this distance would be a safe one. Naruto opened his mouth to spew something utterly useless about coming to watch Finding Nemo with him and his daughter. Sasuke's stomach erupted first with a loud growl sparing Naruto from the embarrassment. Timing of random little things was on his side today.

The blonde smiled and said instead, "Are you hungry?"

"A little," the raven admitted, "but it's nothing to worry about."

"Nonsense. We have plenty. You can have anything that you want," At Sasuke's expression he tacked at the end, "to eat…" The by the next flicker of emotion across the paler face. "As in food."

"But I only want you…." Naruto stood stunned at Sasuke's words. He gaped like a fish out of water and failed to notice the advancing raven, who took the opportunity to re-wrap his arms around his love and crush the smaller to his chest. "Would you be my next meal?" He whispered in the little spot right underneath the blonde's ear knowing that it was ticklish. After speaking he pressed his lips there knowing how much Naruto had liked it last time.

"**No!**" Naruto failed and was across the room, panting as if he had just run a marathon. And bracing the wall like that was the last thing he had left in this life. Blushing again his brain caught up with his actions, how he had left a confused Sasuke on the other side of the dining room. He allowed his body to relax on the wall. Slumping down to sit on his dairy air firmly before bringing up his knees and squeezing them 'till his knuckles turned white. Taking one raggedy breath after another; he was confused himself.

The blonde boy thought that this was what he had wanted, for Sasuke, the love of his whole existence, to want him back. That was still a part of it he decided, but it was only a small part because what if Sasuke only wanted him sexually? What if the raven's dreams didn't match up with Naruto's about the life that they could share if both parties were willing?

When he eventually let the raven tangle with him in his bed linens once more, would that be all the older wanted of him? Not a relationship and definitely not a daughter or a son.

"Naruto?" Sasuke whispered carefully having just snuck up on the blonde boy; to whom his whole heart belonged. Having caught his loves attention he took Naruto's chin lightly into his hand, forcing the face that had been hidden from him for too many years to look up at his eyes. This way he could see exactly what he had missed.

"Please, don't hide from me. It's been so long since I've been here to marvel in your beauty…" The boy's breath that had left him caught in his throat mouth hanging agape slightly; Sasuke was having a hard time not ravishing those full lips. It was apparently too soon after his appearance on the blonde's doorstep for the older to kiss the younger. He knew that he shouldn't. So he didn't. Especially when he thought about back to the previous few seconds where Naruto pushed him away; it was helpful though, now he knew which lines he couldn't cross.

Naruto blinked and bit his lip; Sasuke resigned himself from biting it for him. "Did you mean that?" He was so unsure. _Pathetic. _

A small groan escaped the raven's lips in frustration. "I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it, dobe." He sat directly next to Naruto so that they were touching. The blonde child was forced to cross his head to see Sasuke properly, his bottom lip still caught underneath his top teeth cutely. Sasuke leaned forward so that his lips could brush the shell of Naruto's ear when he spoke.

"You're so beautiful," he tapped his angel's chest. "Inside," the he placed his hand on the tanned cheek, running the pad of his thumb over his whiskers. Naruto unconsciously or not leaned into his touch, "And out." His loves eye lids fluttered as he held back tears. Hating now how Sasuke could melt him into a shivering puddle of tears in less than a few sweet nothings; he was turning the already feminine looking blonde boy into a full blown girl.

The boy shifted so that his head rested comfortably on his knees and wrapped his arms tightly around them again as if to cut off all of the circulation. This effectively got him out of Sasuke's hold casually; a pale hand slipped from the cheek and fell back to the raven's side. Causing Sasuke to sigh silently, he propped up one of his knees, throwing an arm over it coolly. He stayed still to watch the emotions in Naruto's face go to war as he contemplated something.

Naruto threw another worried glance Sasuke's way and a dark red patch on the ravens sleeve caught his eye. "Is that blood?" The blonde sat up, his eyes wider then saucers.

He didn't wait for the raven to answer before he crawled over the little space between them and rolled up the sleeve in question. Long pale fingers clasped around his small wrist physically stopping him from seeing what the raven had no intention of letting him see. "It's not a big deal dobe. They'll heal in due time, nothing to worry your pretty little head about." He said, but it was too late. Naruto was determined to roll up Sasuke's sleeve and be as worried as he pleased to be.

"Shut-up, teme," he shook off Sasuke's hand and continues where he had left off. The raven did not dispute him about how this whole thing was completely unnecessary. The older boy had no need to be taken care of, not like if he were some big blubbering girl. On the other hand, Naruto was the one who needed Sasuke's care, not that he was much of a girl either. He had made fun of Naruto when they were younger for having bi-gender features (mostly girls; his eyebrows and ears were about the only masculine parts about him.)

Naruto's gasp brought Sasuke back from his thoughts/memories. Blue eyes stared openly at the long, one inch deep cuts and burn marks on his arms alone. "What the fuck?" He said softly before beginning to examine them, checking for infection. His eyes then traveled upwards to Sasuke's chest. "Take off your shirt," He said keeping up a poker face, not a hint of humor in his voice.

"I'll take off mine if you take off yours." The older smirked.

The blonde's shirt was off in a matter of seconds, then he was tugging on Sasuke's in a mind set of making sure the love of his life was okay. He didn't realize the sexual connotations in his actions. The raven lifted up his arms so that Naruto could pry the unwanted material off of him. Sasuke had to resist the strong, almost crippling, urge to burst out laughing; for heaven's sake it was shocking how after one hour Naruto had cracked his shell and made emotions bubble up into his stony heart. His love and willingness to simply tolerate the blonde was phenomenal.

His eyes took the opportunity presented to scan Naruto's perfect body while he was so focused on checking every insignificant scratch on him.

…But…wait? What were those long jagged things on his stomach? Those weren't there last time he had seen Naruto without a shirt on; or any cloths at all for that matter. Curious Sasuke pushed Naruto at arm's length, ignoring the disgruntled noise he made. Sasuke traced one of the scars fondly and cast his love a look about them.

"They're stretch marks."

"Stretch marks?" The older questioned. "How did you get them?" He wondered aloud, his fingers till tracing the strange pattern on the tan stomach of his love, amazed at how they transfused so well with his Kyubbi mark which, at the time, wasn't present.

Naruto batted the pale hands away from his tummy, grabbed his discarded tee and put it back on. "I got them when I was carrying Hajime." Was the mumbled reply he gave Sasuke, ashamed that he had forgotten all about those damn marks on his stomach? And it showed, what with the way he fidgeted with the hem of his shirt and wouldn't meet those black eyes.

"Carrying? So you really are her _mother_?" Naruto nodded, half way relived that that was the question he asked. "And her father?" It was the hurt look in Sasuke's eyes flashing by for less than a second that struck worry back into Naruto and flushed all his relief down the toilet. However the blonde couldn't tell him the he _was_ the father, not yet.

"How about I cut you a deal?"

"Should I be afraid?" Sasuke teased.

Naruto laughed, and it felt wonderful to have that be real and to actually be happy, completely happy, and not just the mildly pleased he showed he family. "No, silly. How about you tell me what you've been up to these last four years, tonight. And I'll tell you everything about my last four years tomorrow." He wagered, still feeling that twinge of guilt for not just coming out and telling him he was a dad now. Take it or leave it. But he was too afraid, and couldn't. "Sound good?"

"Not really," Sasuke muttered way under his breath. He desired to know about Naruto's past without him before he had to explain to the younger and his family why. Not that he didn't want to tell the blonde everything; he just didn't want to have to wait another day for the other half of the story.

"What's her name again?" He asked, the hormones in his body making him miss the sight of tan flesh that was sitting there so delightfully in front of him for his eyes feasting pleasure. However it was his body that had to be exposed because Naruto had resumed his inspection.

"Hajime," Naruto whispered, beaming with pride.

"Hm, that's a beautiful name. Suits her; she's a beautiful girl. From what I've seen you're a good mother." The smile that he gave him had to be the most joyous one that Sasuke had ever seen on Naruto's face. God, soon he was going to have to physically restrain himself from kissing the buh-jesus out of the boy.

"Thanks," he blushed madly, then quickly changed the subject. "I have some antibiotic in the bathroom. Come on." Naruto stood, dusting off the invisible dust then held out a hand to Sasuke. The raven took it, but he didn't use the blonde leverage to pull himself up. It was to just be in contact with his love, therefore he decided against dropping the warm hand, allowing himself to be dragged into the living room where his family was waiting for them, quite impatiently by now.

Naruto stopped directly in front of the T.V. right when Dora was about to tell Marlin to 'just keep swimming.' Hajime wide widened as the cuts and bruises on her father's body. As did everyone else's.

"Sakura, could you help me with him," he raised their hands and shook them for effect, "please?"

"Sure baby," The pink haired girl got up and took the tan hand Naruto had outstretched for her. Sasuke couldn't stop himself from becoming a green monster for a moment or two because he was partly jealous that Naruto gave _her_ his hand at all. Even though he knew that the blonde had done the same for him. Still, he alone wanted the select privileged of showing signs of affection towards Naruto; he knew it was unreasonable. He knew.

They both dragged him to the bathroom and ordered him to sit on the toilet and to un-strap his sandals while they collected the antibiotics and gobs of cotton balls. He stiffened when Sakura touched him with peroxide filled balls of cotton, none the less he remained still though he longed to tell her to cut it out.

"Shit these are deep," she flipped short pink bangs out of her face to look at him, "What did you piss of enough to do this kind of damage?" The raven locked his jaw certainly never intending to tell her anything, although he was going to tell Naruto and the rest of the family later. He relaxed his mouth when the blonde let a hand linger on his shoulder curiously.

"My brother," his voice was like daggers that pierced Naruto's very soul. The raven went far away to a place where there was only Naruto. Sakura wasn't there. Sakura didn't even exist. However he was kind of being unfair, at least she had shed that silly obsession with him. "Seven days ago I fought him," he grinned somewhat evilly, "I won."

"How did you get here so fast, on foot? Without these wounds it's a ten day trip, yet you made it here in seven?"

"Four," he corrected.

"Why would you do that to your body?" Naruto fretted, kneeling at his loves side. "No wonder you were so hungry. To get here you would have to travel non-stop. Why would you even attempt something like that, especially when you're hurt?"

Black eyes Sakura's face and he decided letting Naruto know that he didn't want to just be the bastard who took his virginity, left him for dead and ruined his life was more important than showing her that he wasn't made of stone. "I wanted to get back to you as soon as possible. I never intended to be away for so long. All of my personal business was taken care of. I had no idea how long you were going to wait for me." He answered taking the beautiful face into his hands kissing his forehead lovingly, allowing his lips to wait there a bit longer than necessary; seeing as that was the most action he would be getting for awhile.

"I-I'll get you something to eat," Naruto stuttered quietly and sprinted out.

"Thank you," Sakura said swabbing away at his chest with those cotton balls. Her green eyes flickered from her work to his slightly tilted head. "I said thank you; for hurrying back to him. This is the happiest any of us have seen him in years. His smile wasn't even this bright when his children were born."

"Child_ren_?"

She put a finger to her lips as if shushing herself, a mischievous look in her eyes. "That's a secret. I'm sure Naruto will let you meet his son tomorrow when he tall you everything."

"You were listening to our conversation." He accused lightly, his mind reeling at the prospect of Naruto having a son.

She shrugged. "You guys were right in the living room , with your shirts off, talking loud enough to wake the dead. So it's not like I was eves dropping or anything. Merely overhearing. Besides he's my brother. I love him, and if you hurt him again so help me god," a low growl escaped from her.

"If I hurt him again, I'll go to you myself and beg for the worst punishment possible." He had a serious face, and the words themselves were so heartfelt that Sakura was moved. She had to stop cleaning his wounds to check if his mask truly did represent his statement. And it did.

She blinked at what emotion she found in those black eyes whispering, "You really love him, don't you?"

"Yes I do," he answered unblinking, "With all that I have to give him."

At that moment they both turned to a flustered Naruto who panted at the doorway with a tray of spaghetti and a tall glass of water; to Sasuke Naruto looked the most appetizing. "Sorry I took so long, the spaghetti was cold and I got lots of it 'cause I figured, after four days you know, you would be really, really hungry. And, so, yeah. Sorry." He babbled on continuously gulping for air, his heart was pounding so loud in his eyes at the sight of the slightly amused raven.

Sasuke reached for the tray politely taking it into his lap he said just as politely, "I do feel comfortable eating this while you guys are watching my mounds with peroxide."

Naruto's palm slapped his own forehead. "Duh! I'm sorry!" Sasuke caught the hand off of his ricocheting blonde's forehead and brought it to his lips. The blonde's cheeks lit up like a pine tree set on fire. Sakura was mildly entertained now that she knew that Sasuke was indeed going to try his damn hardest to care for her brother; at least, he had better.

All in all she was happy with his appearance. Although like the rest of the family she was eagerly awaiting Sasuke's side of the story, albeit it might have some nasty side effects, like reducing the hardened pink haired teen to tears as he had done to Naruto earlier this very day; the boy who hadn't been able to even so much as to produce tears for nearly two years now.

She shook her head at the love struck teens and worked away at Sasuke's cuts and things while his blackened eyes stared openly of the blondes beauty; studying every new and improved aspect of it. The cherry blossom was partly amazed with herself because how could she have missed this? How blind was she to close her eyes to the connection that looped around them as a pair? Two halves of a whole and all that. It was a great feat that she had deluded herself into thinking that she was the one meant to be on Sasuke's arm; that they had this sort of connection. How could she have just _been_ that way?

Back then Sakura was clinging to a broken thread that tied only to the hope of being with Sasuke Uchiha one day. But this! Whoa! It was a tangible thing all around her like she could reach out and touch it. She imagined that their love would be like a frightened animal or caged bird, but it wasn't broken. No it was strong. So strong that it coerced through her veins so clear and pulsating and she wasn't even a part of them besides the adoptive family member status. Other than that she was a lowly outsider with her nose pressed up against the glass.

She allowed herself to for a moment to visualize what it would be like to fill Naruto's shoes; to receive that love from Sasuke. And, for a second, she was crestfallen, but that was okay they were meant to be.

Shaking it off she coughed lightly while throwing the used cotton balls in the trash. Despite her brokenness towards the boy she claimed to have extreme feelings for she felt awful for being the one to ruin a moment of theirs. Because, after all, they were so cute. So cute in fact that she wanted to awe at them.

When she had part of their attention she said, "Since they're all clean and not infected I can heal them real quick and we can back to Finding Nemo, mmkay?"

As if in a daze Naruto took a step backwards, ashamed that he had just gawked at Sasuke for so long and not noticing what he was doing. "You guys don't need me for this part, do you?" Sakura shook her head, seeing that he was eager to leave and regain his brain. "Good I'm going to go and watch Finding Nemo with the birthday girl. You guys have fun."

Sakura laughed. "Oh, you know we will."

Naruto winked back. "Just don't do anything I wouldn't." She laughed again as he shut the door behind him.

The cherry blossom gave no warning before putting her palms face down on Sasuke's shoulders; who was slightly startled at the action. But only in secret, then green eyes closed and she muttered a spell lowly as if she wasn't even making any noise at all because of which the raven's cuts slithered away. They melted into his skin like they never existed. Sakura opened her eyes and put her hands back at her sides where they belonged. He was Naruto's property after all; it was almost pitiful how her heart panged at the thought.

"Shall we?" Sasuke asked standing and walking to the door without an answer.

He came into the living room still with a bare chest, and the air possibly got thicker when Naruto patted the seats next to him for both his sister and his best friend to come and sit by him. They both came and planted their dairy airs where he had indicated without hesitation.

Sasuke wasn't really one for animated movies, but little Hajime was to amusing to pass up. The button had as much sprit as her mother, that was for sure. She would just around and act out every scene in the movie, and sometimes she would barrel straight at Naruto who would scoop her up, spin her around, and send her sprinting in the opposite direction. They all laughed at her shenanigans and it made the whole Sasuke situation disappear; watching her be happy and silly like she normally was. She made all the stress in their bodies melt away and disperse to the farthest corners of their minds.

Though all to soon it was nearing nine o' clock, the credits rolling past on the screen, and she crawled into her mother's lap then she was fast asleep dreaming of lolly pops and pony's and whatever else it was three year olds dreamt about. Naruto stroked her hair lovingly, humming a familiar tune, Sasuke without thinking joined in. It was his mothers; he recognized it immediately, but why did Naruto sing it to his daughter?

The raven stood and lifted the tiny girl up out of Naruto's lap; she instantly wrapped her arms around his neck. He chuckled without making a sound, patting the girls back with care. "She's heavy," he whispered to the blonde who was standing now too.

Naruto nodded then smiled at how Hajime took to her father then he led Sasuke to her purple room. He made head way and pulled back the covers on her little big girl bed. He stood back and watched as Sasuke carefully laid her down, kissed her cheek, and brought the covers to her chin tucking her gently in. It was almost like he had done this before; tucked someone into bed. His raven haired love stood away and Naruto bent over his daughter placing his lips on her brow and prayed that she would be safe without anyone there.

When he was done, and his mommy wards surrounded her and held her in a tight embrace, they tip-toed out although the blonde knew that Hajime was a very heavy sleeper. They could have jumped up and down on her bed and she would've slept like the baby that she was.

Sasuke closed the door behind them softly. Naruto reached over and opened it so that there was a crack of light shining through, like her mother Hajime feared being in total darkness.

"She's a happy kid. You really did do well raising her so far," Sasuke noted as they walked back to face the dreaded family intervention that was surely about to take place. It was hard not to picture a swinging light bulb in a dismally grey room.

"It was a group effort," he sighed. "I wouldn't have gotten very far without my family backing me up every step of the way."

"Hm," in all honesty Sasuke really was looking forward to the interrogation to come. The raven was glad that finally he could live up to his promise all those years ago to properly express his love when he came home. He could tell his blonde beauty how he felt about the night that they shared before he had left him. More importantly that he was against the idea of going at all; he had wanted to wake up with Naruto in his arms and if at all possible have several second rounds later that day. Most importantly explain _why_ he had to go, even though it didn't sit right with him and had been eating at him for years and years. Also explain why leaving the boy was all for his sake. Just let him know that all Sasuke had ever done or would ever do was for him.

The two boys who were now very much in love reached the room in question after a period of very small, very slow steps in that direction. The family had gone so far as to resituate the room so that the two love seats were facing one another; one a two seater, and the other a four. Thankfully, there were no swinging light bulbs and the room was well lit.

Sasuke unabashed at the thought of being slung guilty accusations went to sit on the smaller couch. Naruto tottered close behind him scared out of his mind at the kinds of questions that they would ask; especially Kakashi.

The raven haired boy sat casually stretching his arm over Naruto's shoulders, but in a way that his arm stayed on the couch. He then smirked feeling somewhat good about the whole situation about to go down. He had more cards up his sleeve, so to speak, than they did. He didn't plan on giving them any reason to tear him away from his love. "What do you want to know?"

Iruka shrugged just as indifferent as the boy, almost man, who had appeared back through the thin air he disappeared into. "Everything," he deadpanned, before his own lover started firing off erotic questions of his own. "Tell us everything." Because that was all that they wanted to know. And no, it wasn't asking too much because he had been the sole breaker of Naruto's heart.

Sasuke nodded, he had expected as much and wondered where to begin. It would be far too sappy if he started on that dock when they were five. "I first met and fought Orochimaru during the second stage of the chuning exams." His voice was like thin ice, crackling with hatred at every step. "It was there that he gave me the curse mark, binding me to him. It was also then that I first saw Naruto taken over by the Kyubbi," Naruto stiffened at the mention of his other name. Sasuke noticed this and slid his arm down a little so that it looped around the blondes shoulders. "But that's another story. Orochimaru planned to come and collect me after he had finished some of his personal affairs; effectively killing off the third Hokage. I was determined to resist at first, but he promised me the strength to kill my brother, and when that didn't work he vowed that he would come back and murder everyone in the village. That way the only thing I had left was the future that he promised me. He then told me that it was a big decision and would give me two weeks to clearly think this over. The bastard was toying with me and I knew it; didn't matter much though, he would be waiting."

The raven exhaled, shifting a bit. "I tried thinking it through logically; and I came to one conclusion. He couldn't kill everyone in the village. We had the bigger army. Naruto had already fetched Tsunade. So…it just wasn't plausible. But then he had destroyed the third Hokage and I didn't want to be the only one out of a village of people left alive again.

"You," he spoke directly to Naruto, tuning out his family, "came to mind first, you know? Before I thought about the village or myself for that matter because of the emotions that I felt for you at the time." Staring deeply into cobalt blue eyes that captivated him so, "I had to at least tell you how I felt about you, even though what I really wanted to say was good bye. I couldn't bring myself to. You were a stubborn ass dobe. Insisting that we could take him, that's what you'd do. You would rationalize just like my brain had, but it wouldn't do either of us any good. I was bound to him. If his life force had suddenly gone out my life would have been threatened. You hadn't seen what he could do. There were these manipulative jitsus he had created just to have the element of surprise and eminent death. Moat if not all of them were vile and also involved a great deal of pain." Tsunade was bobbing her head up and down at his words. She, more than anyone, knew exactly what he was talking about.

"And when I did tell you, I had no previous intentions of it going that far, not that I'm not happy that it did, but you were so young; fresh into your teens and I took something so precious from you. You weren't ready. And in the long run it hurt us both more because through that act you became more attached to me, and I to you. I loved you so much I thought my heart would burst at that one shred that knew I had to _leave_ you." Naruto was in tears at this point, his chest swelled with happiness; the raven loved him. He buried his nose in the crook of Sasuke next, thus the older boy proceeded taking the small boy into his lap. He took extra time to breathe him in. Naruto settled against him, wrapping his arms around his neck.

The family also relaxed more at least words, now they were just eager to hear more because they were sure that Sasuke loved Naruto, that even though everything bad that could've happened, happened, he had always loved him.

"I couldn't leave you, not after letting my teenage hormones take the reins like that, but I didn't have the fucking balls to actually wake you and to tell you goodbye. Beyond the fact that you would have never let me leave, I didn't want to see the look you would give me; sadness did not fit a face I only ever wanted to see reflect joy. So I did the only thing that I could. I scribbled down the best words that would come to mind and left a silly note behind for you to find. I know that it was cowardly of me. I know." Sasuke wasn't big on emotional confessions, his voice, even now, resembled stone. All the same Naruto was worth the baring of his soul, he deserved to know everything.

Naruto sat up, looking at him with strange eyes, tears still drowning his whiskered cheeks. "You left me a note?" He crossed his head and stared deeply at the raven; who did, in fact after all of this time love him!

"Yes, I did."

The blonde boy bit his lip, "Where did you leave it?" He looked confused, reflecting the emotion Sasuke felt.

"In the bedroom," he answered thus confirming that Sai had been lying to him for the past two years almost. Constantly reminding him that Sasuke didn't love him, Sasuke wasn't ever going to come back, all in the futile attempt of wooing the boy. The black haired man thought to prove this every time by bringing up the heartbreaking fact that Sasuke didn't even so much as leave him a note. But he had. And Sai had known all along and never told him.

The family didn't understand just as much as Sasuke didn't, why was this news so upsetting to the blonde child, they all thought he would be happy. Sasuke didn't push his luck though by asking what was wrong, and cupped his dobe's neck laying his head back down on his shoulder and began to shush him back into a semi-responsive state. The rest of the family got up and came over, they put their hands on him, to let him know that they cared even if they had no idea what words would comfort him. So instead they sent silent prayers of comforting thoughts his way while running their fingers up and down his back in a soothing manor.

"Please stop! Please! I just-I just want to hear the rest of the story! Please!" They agreed to Naruto's request but they didn't return to their love seat. They squeezed onto the other side of the couch and on the floor so that they could be close to him when he was feeling so distressed. Sasuke being mighty observant picked his love up and fitted them close to one side of the four seat cushion couch.

The rest of them followed suit; some of them still having to sit on the floor, but not as many so that was okay. There was still more story to tell.

Sasuke just picked up where he had left off and spoke as if he were only speaking to his love. "It was cold without you, dreary and bleak. More than anything I wanted to turn back and run to you, but he was waiting, and he knew what were; what's inside of you. I was sure that it was part of his plan to use me, your friend, to lure you away. So that you too could be a part of his plan to pillage and over throw the world; typical bad guy bullshit. However, he didn't even mention you…. Then and there he offered me a trade, the necessary skills to kill my brother in exchange for my body as a new skin when his withered away. At that point I knew I had no choice and agreed; not that I honored the trade later on.

"To traveled to his lair, and there I trained day in with weapons and other hardened criminals, day out with books so that I would never be caught off guard. This went on for three years and only for the last couple months did I train with Orochimaru directly. Within those last two months I was plotting my revenge, acting not as strong as I was so that I could blind him into thinking that he was in no danger. The old fool thought that wisdom came by time and not by experience.

"I couldn't strike at night because the snake was overly paranoid and stayed up until ridicules hours in the morning, training and over looking his plans and such. Plans that I already knew; plans that the crack pot old fool had told me of his own free will, underestimating my powers of observation just because I was so much younger than him. I had been doing my research, so that when I took his life it was not a form of suicide. I studied up on the effects of still being bound to someone by that black magic when they happen to pass away.

"After several weeks of finding nothing that could help me, I stumbled across a way to rid myself completely of that curse that was keeping me from my vendetta and in turn getting home to you," he ran his hand through the boys blonde hair who smiled at the action. Naruto's heart fluttered like a bird caged in his chest cavity at the very touch of hands that had planted the very seeds that made him love and despise his life. "It was a jitsu where I would need some of Orochimaru's hair and blood. Acquiring both would be rather simple when I spared with him the next morning. The next step was to draw the exact seal and say the incantation, it was kind of cliché if you ask me. But if it works it works, and if it didn't I would just have to keep looking."

Tsunade interrupted, "I created that back when I was fresh out of the academy. I was simple and could remove and light to medium curse placed on a person," she smirked, bringing out her alcohol now that Naruto was distracted and Hajime asleep. "I called it reverse-a-curse. It was a silly name, but it worked well enough. I'm surprised the old snake didn't use anything stronger. What book did you find it in?"

"No book actually it had never been published. I found it stuck between the pages of an old curse resisting manual on normal note book paper. I didn't know it was of your make, thank you." He nodded almost unemotionally.

"You're welcome Uchiha brat," and she downed another bottle.

"Anyway, I preformed the jitsu right after I acquired the necessary ingredients. Then I put an end to his life, and I must admit that it was pleasing to do so, especially when it was him that kept me from you for so, so long…" Sasuke let a tiny halve-smile covet his lips and showed it to his love, only to relies that Naruto had fallen asleep. It didn't matter much, he could probably guess the rest of the story anyway.

"After that," Sasuke shrugged, openly touching the blonde boys face and concealing a smile at his very light snoring. He was so beautiful, even more so then before, at least more so then he remembered. He already felt like there was so much that he didn't know because there was, there were almost fours that were blank in his mind, and their separate tales had to be condensed into a couple of hours. "After that I avenged my family, protected my love, and kept all my promises…" The end.

He then stood, Naruto in his arms—where he should've always remained. "Goodnight," he said to them, "Thank you."

Iruka was the first to stand and walk over to him sons past and soon-to-be-lover, he placed a hand on Sasuke's bicep lightly, and forced his lips to twitch into a tight smile. "Take care of him…promise that you'll take care of him. That's-Its all I want." Iruka was almost in tears, he mind running through the list of horrible things that could happen because of the ravens return. His hand dropped limply to his side only to be snatched up by his lover.

"I promise," he answered Iruka solemnly in such a way that he hoped showed he had always planned to do just that.

"Now that that's settled," Kakashi butted in, "How was the sex?" Iruka began swatting at his arm.

"That is none of your business," Kakashi pouted at this answer but moved along at the command of his lover so that the rest of the family could ask the raven relatively the same thing—exempting the 'How was the sex?' comment. They had all wanted to make sure that Sasuke wasn't just back for the sex, even though that was a silly thing to return to a person for after four years of battling his foes for him. Sasuke could get sex from anyone, considering his dashing good looks and substantial bank account. Sasuke could even get sex from himself if he felt like getting that familiar with his hand . There was only one Naruto, and even if the two never made love again here is where he would stay; by the blonde boy's side, until the day that he died.

And he attempted to convey that to them letting just a pinch of his sincerity seep through his voice, not like when he was telling his story and most of it had been monotone, except for the bits when he spoke directly to the blonde boy drooling on his shoulder.

Soon they were all gone, though, much to Sasuke relief.

"Hey," Tsunade said sucking on her last sake bottle as if it were her pacifier and she was two, "don't think your off the hook just yet, we still haven't discussed your," she smirked, "punishment."

"I'm going to put Naruto to bed first," there was not any room for discussion.

She waved her hand. "Do what'cha got to do," she lifted up her bottle, "I've got more than enough company." Sheesh that was true she had drunk enough to incapacitate an elephant; maybe a herd of elephants. Probably the amount she consumed within about halve a month, yeah it was that bad.

He nodded, not all that concerned, and took Naruto to bed after weaving through the entire house trying to find his room. He found an empty room that wasn't plastered in orange, so Sasuke figured that it much have been the guest room. That was probably where the family planned for his to sleep but that wasn't happening, unless Naruto banished him to that place. The room across the hall had the blonde bay written all over it, even if there weren't ramen cups littering the floor like they had been in his old apartment, and the silk comforter was a midnight blue.

Sasuke laid the boy on his bed. "There we go," he breathed when Naruto sunk into the mattress happily. He then traveled his fingers up and over Naruto's sleeping face. "I wish I could have been to watch you grow more beautiful with each passing day," he put his forehead to Naruto's and kissed his sleeping eyes. "I love you."

The raven stood away from him running a hand through his own hair; now, all that he had to figure out was how to undress his love without raping the poor boy. He went down to Naruto's feet thinking that this would be a safe place to start, and stripped off his socks and shoes; in actuality it wasn't all that productive, but it was a start. Sasuke took a step up to Naruto's belt, slightly undoing it. Then he released by his sudden rush f testosterone that maybe, for the time being discarding the shirt would be best. Grapping the end on the piece of cotton in one swift movement he looped it up and over Naruto's head, taking the extra care not to wake him.

Naruto fell back to the bed when the shirt was off, mumbling about nothing, and his blonde hair floated about his face like a halo; bonifide proof that he was an angel. The whisper his pants zipper was quieted by Sasuke's loud breathing. Damn his teenage hormones. Damn them to hell! He was angry with himself because by trying to make Naruto more comfortable while he slept the raven was getting awfully excited, more so then he really should have been. He could fucking _help _it though, what with Naruto looking all cute and innocent.

Thank fully, when he moved to slip down the skinny jeans the blonde made it easier and less sensual by kicking his lips and that the underwear didn't come too. The raven throw the outfit into the pile of cloths on the floor with the dirtiest appearance. Turning back to his love he simply watched as Naruto rolled onto his side then curled up into a small ball; he went back to his side and tucked him into the covers.

He felt and remembered the fabric in his hands. Naruto had kept this first and last memory of them, even if it was just one of lust. Sasuke brought it to his nose and breathed it in; God, it still faintly smelled of them. That night flooded his mind and senses and didn't help with his steadily growing problem.

Like old times he wrapped his love up in the blanket, then stopped and blinked when the blonde began to call his name like a mantra but as if he didn't know that the raven was there at all, more like he was trying to find him, like he was trying to reach him from some faraway place. He moved his index finger down the bridge of Naruto's nose, making the boy find what he was searching for and drift away into a deep peaceful sleep; one that his sleep-deprived body badly needed, and had tried to compensate for, for years.

Black eyes stared intently at the precious boy before him, "I'm here, sweetheart. I know I'm a bit late, but I'll always be here." His tone dropped to a whisper. "I'll never leave you again. Never. You hear me never Naruto Uzumaki." Never. Never. Never. Even is Naruto didn't want to belong to him, he would stick like epoxy to the younger boy. He seemed as equally in love with him as he was with the blonde child. Except he had a daughter; Sasuke was curious about her, especially about his possible competition, her father.

Tsunade happened to be waiting though, so they could discuss his punishment. H stood up to his full height walking backwards to the door; that way his eyes could linger on his love for as long as possible. The raven closed the door in the same fashion that Hajime had been closed, with a sliver of light peaking through.

Sasuke traced one of the wood grains in the door, reminding himself that he was right here. Right behind this door, and the blonde wasn't going anywhere; that was for sure. Keeping that in mind he turned on his heal and continued to the living room where his punishment awaited him; a thousand years of death or something was what he was probably looking at, but he hoped she'd show him mercy.

However, he was slightly disappointed. There was no medieval torture equipment, which meant that Tsunade more than likely had a much worst form of punishment for him like confining him to his old apartment so that he wasn't able to be with Naruto every single second of every day. Not that he would be a good boy and do as he was told or anything. Sasuke had priorities and they had been forced when he laid eyes on the blonde. Not even the Hokage could keep him from this house, and it wasn't all to reassuring that she was a million times drunker than usual.

The raven sunk into the couch like he owned the place (which oddly enough she did.)

"I had to go to the bathroom and found that," she pointed to the food that Naruto had fixed for him and that he had forgotten in the restroom. "It's a little cold but…I figured that it was for you." She sat up on one of her elbows, her old joints groaning and popping the whole way. He just ignored her completely and picked up the tray of food that his love had made for him beginning to, like a gentleman. Chow down, all the while staring intently at the woman about to decide his fate.

"I have come to the conclusion that you are to be placed under…Naruto arrest." Sasuke was suddenly very thankful that she was hammered beyond belief or she would have never proposed this. "He had complete and total say on what to do with you. However, there are two conditions. One there had to be an elected official that reports to me if you take any sort of advantage of my grandson; his name is Sai. He'll be coming by tomorrow probably. Second, is that you must prove you love Naruto like your previous claim and also to love little Hajime no matter whose baby she is." Sasuke nodded, astonished by the much too reasonable conditions.

"That's it?" he asked sternly, swallowing some of the cold noodles with stale water.

"That's it." Tsunade said matter-o-factly, getting up and gathering her sake bottles before making her way, quite clumsily, to the front door. She stopped abruptly in the doorframe as if she was forgetting something and turned back to face him. "I know…you've heard this millions of times already…but take care of him. If you don't I'll kick your ass, that's a promise." Sasuke looked sincere when nodding, thus satisfied she went home.

When she was gone and his fate decided, he finished his food as quickly as humanly possible, still not feeling full but it was good to have some gas out in the tank. After he was done he went next door to the kitchen and put his plate in the sink that was already piled high with leftover dishes from the party.

Vowing to do those dishes, Sasuke returned to his loves bedside. Kneeling at the edge on the mattress he crossed his arms under his head, and cast a loving gaze on his dobe's magnificently beautiful sleeping face. Watching him inhale and exhale peacefully, a soft warm place in his heart caught on fire at the angelic sight laid out before him, and him only. Maybe he was just exercising one of his daily daydreams; although this imaginary Naruto put all the ones before him to shame. It felt real, which meant that Naruto was right here for the taking. At least there didn't seem to be any special other in the blonde's life besides his family; Naruto hadn't mentioned there being anyone else.

Pushing himself up to his elbows he hovered over the blonde for whom his ice heart melted and bucked against his ribcage.

"What's wrong, Sas-Sasu…teme?" Sasuke gazing down at the droopy blue eyes staring back up at him. Then his worried/sleepy face was lost in a yawn as he reached up to rub the sleep from his eyes. The raven smiled at him remembering a similar conversation.

He lifted the hand that was closest and brushed some of the hair out of Naruto's eyes. "Are you going to make this a habit, talking in your sleep?" he teased kissing the hand he took, fully enjoying the very bright blush that spread across his dobe's cheeks, what made it even more amusing was that only Naruto's face recognized his embarrassment.

"I-I'm not sleeping! I'm a-wake!" He protested slurring his words. Eyes fluttering closed then snapping open he yelled, "See!"

Sasuke frowned as if he were thinking, "I'm not convinced." Naruto hit him weakly on the arm with his free hand; a drowsy episode of anger. The raven let loose an itty bitty chuckle, it wasn't loud enough or long enough to be considered a laugh. All the same the blonde's lips tugged at the corners to reveal a sluggish baring of his pearly whites.

The teme stood, gathering the covers and tucking them to the tan chin, the same thing he had done almost a shocking four years ago, he pressed his lips to his forehead like he had done some many times earlier today. "Get some sleep."

Eyelids drooped at the command, lips smiled up at him though. "You too. You-you get some sleep too. If…uh, if I wake up in teh mornin' and you're not in teh bed across the…over there…I'll chop off stuffs." Sasuke just stroked his hair affectionately.

"I'm sure."

"Seriously…Sasu I'm not gonna go to sleep until you leave teh room," he had that determined look on his face and in his blue eyes again, even though he was tumbling down the hill to beddy-bye land rapidly. He did need his rest, but so did the raven considering he hadn't so much as closed his eyes for any other reason than to blink in four to seven days.

Therefore Sasuke gave in; he kissed his whiskered cheek right on the corner of his mouth and said, "I love you." He walked briskly to the guest room across the hall. He stopped, turned back and stared as Naruto breathed peacefully in a deep sleep once more. He grabbed the handle, but he paused without twisting it. A Hajime shaped silhouette popped up in his mind, he wondered so fiercely about her that unconsciously his feet moved towards her bed room door, and soon he found himself there.

Pushing it open, he tip-toed into her small purple bed; the young girl was almost as obsessed with purple as her mother was with orange. He knelt at the edge of her bed now and watched her sleep much more neutrally then the blonde boy; she swam in a calm sea of dreams not a thrashing current of nightmares.

Sasuke soon realized his cheek was on the plumb comforter and then blackness swallowed him.

--

This feels so lame to me.

Review anyway! XP!


	18. I must be dreaming

I Must Be Dreaming

--

Naruto awoke feeling good; spectacular even. Better than he had in a long time. Which was saying more than it should have because he had never felt anything but darkness fouling his skin when he spurned himself from his angelic nightmares or impossible dreams. Too often he had bolted up shaking like he had hypothermia, and was freezing to death. Funny thing was he was dying, but from the emptiness slowly chipping away at his heath; mental and physical.

But not this morning he was not dragging his feet to leave the sanctuary of his bedroom, where he could pretend all he wanted, where he could cry all he wanted, where he could fear all that he wanted. No. The blonde felt wonderful; how could he not? Sasuke, the reason he liked to stay locked away in a cover coffin, had come home, and had proclaimed his love in front of the blonde's family. It was more then he could have asked for, even more then he expected. However, despite all of this good his dreams were kept at bay. The inner side of his eyelids had remained blank as a white sheet of paper, and oddly enough it was peaceful. It was exactly what his boy needed; pure uninterrupted sleep. Not the horrid kind when he cried himself awake from whatever particular nasty nightmare the closeting of his lids subjected to him. The most popular was his daughter—the last tangible thing keeping him bound to the earth—dying. She left him every time for a death more beautiful than the life that he could offer her.

He did not even dream of the raven who had returned to him, he wasn't filtering in and out of his mind. The raven's real love had wrapped him in a blanket of hibernation. One where he left the dreams far behind him. He didn't need to submerge himself into the lies anymore. Everything was at it should have been from the beginning and he felt so safe. So many good things were going to happen now, or at least that's what Naruto hoped.

Oh! Sasuke, the man he loved so completely had come home for no other purpose then to let the blonde know that he loved him back and had never wanted to leave. As if still asleep, it was a dream come true.

Naruto couldn't lie down any longer; it was all too much to take in. He cast the covers from his body, then stopped before he sprinted into the guest room and made a fool of himself. He wanted to look presentable, or at the very least clean, when he went to wake Sasuke up. Tip-toeing to the hall closet he grabbed a towel for himself and proceeded to the bathroom. There was a reason he had tip-toed to be so quiet; he remembered back when they were a team and had gone missions as such. Sasuke had barley closed his eyes, muttering shallow complaints about the noise. He didn't even know that anyone else was awake, but watching cool-as-a-cucumber Sasuke fuss over something was too good to pass up for something as meaningless as sleep.

The blonde smiled as he recalled the memory without any pain in his heart. After closing the door he stepped out of his boxers. He caught a glimpse of his reflections and made a face at the mirror; what a cruel torturous invention. It wasn't much of a surprise that he despised his looks, especially now that he had these god-awful marks on his stomach. Saying to the whole world what a freak he really was for having a baby and being a boy and they thought that he was just some ugly kid who had a demon locked up inside of him.

Would Sasuke even begin to think that he was weird when he learned that he was the father? He seemed okay with it now, but would that all change when he knew that they were his, what if he left again? And this time all because of him for real, all because he was a monster. Naruto unconsciously touched his stomach; running is fingers over the lone, so out of place, scars.

Shaking himself he stepped under the shower head turning the knob all the way to scalding hot. Water, cold at first. Pounded down on his skull, plastering his hair to his face. It was nice, but also slick and oily as if all it could do was add to his filth. It got trapped in the scum all across his flesh because not even cleaning implements could free him from the imprisonment of these stains. With this mind set he grabbed the nearest sponge, soaped it up, and rubbed himself raw until his skin was all red and blotchy. He hoped that this would lessen the dirt that was clinging to him, but it couldn't. He never thought that it would unless someone else brushed the dirt off of him. Maybe, his heart piped up, Sasuke could be that someone.

Naruto shivered at the thought of _his_ touch.

He wrapped his own arms around his tiny frame; he sighed it just wasn't the same. The shampoo was cold on top of his head and then he washed, rinsed and repeated as directed by the Pantene Pro-V bottle.

Getting out of the shower he quickly dries himself off and put on his robe. He was itching to see Sasuke, now that he was back, how would the blonde ever get enough of him? Because he was so excited he didn't bother with the unnecessary parts of the morning where he would usually blow dry his hair, get dressed, and throw together some sort of breakfast before Hajime's head lifted from her pillow. He was to elated to stay within the boundaries of his every day routine.

Sasuke had gotten him all jumbled again, but this time it wasn't in a bad way; a broken way.

He was happy, and it was refreshing to escape from his normal rut of just barely getting by, procrastination, and a heartbreaking past. Naruto felt good now; about himself, the world, and even life in general was looking up. Though at one point it was seriously out to get him. And now it felt like he had some components of existing had joined his team; like love and happiness for example.

With a final run down of his appearance, he ran his fingers through his already spiking wet blonde hair. It would have to do, he was far to shaky to go and lay eyes on Sasuke that he didn't want to waste any time with his hair, or pants either.

He knew he must have had some kind of drug—happy pill—in his circulatory system. He was overjoyed to the extent where he wanted to jump, run, and skip through a meadow of swaying, singing flowers. He was seriously on crack; all he wanted really was one big happy family like the ones on those late night sitcoms. How long had he been waiting for one of those?

For forever; that's how long he had been wishing for one. A big happy family and Sasuke return of course. He was so close to gaining both. He thinks the Gods above for all of this good fortune.

One more attempt to tame his hair and he was on his way to the guest bedroom. He opened the door and…

…abandonment was not a part of the unfamiliar. But deluding himself into thinking that the raven really had some home to him was too much. How could his mind be that cruel? It's not like he wasn't used to disappointment, but he would've taken a kunai through the heart instead of this pain deep, throbbing inside of his chest. Then his episode was over, because he pushed it away from him.

He had things to do, and people to live for.

Wiping away a few stray tears he was off into his comfortable rut; the light inside of him flickering down to a stick of blackened wick.

--

Naruto couldn't feel his legs, or his fingertips, or his toes, not his face, not his chest. It was numb and soon that numbness turned back into a horrible agony, but he couldn't help from scolding himself. It was ridicules; this sort of pain had no purpose. This was not even about the man, he had no part to play, it was a dream; a very nice dream. It was such a realistic hallucination. He had _felt_ the raven under his fingertips, he had been held by him.

He rubbed the pad of his thumb over his fingertips, maybe he was defective. Then he shook his head, blonde hair whirling about him. If any what had happened was true; where was he? Where was that damned raven that Naruto loved and hated so much?

It was obvious, way too good to be true. He should have realized. He should have known that none of this could have a happily ever after…not for him. He reconciled himself by remembering that he had Hajime. She was just enough to keep his dead heart beating, though it was a useless organ sitting pretty in his chest cavity. She was enough to keep him alive so that he could give her the best life imaginable with or without her father ever coming home. Who needed him anyway?

_I do,_ a small voice said, and the walls within threatened to cave, but didn't. He had been dealing with this kind of pain for most of his life. It was never like this, never this overbearing, but close enough where as he could manage it.

Still, he leaned against the counter letting it support his full body weight for just a moment. It wasn't fair; none of this was fair at all. And yes, he had heard that life wasn't fair, but how much more pain would it put him through because of the damn raven who had a firm hold on his entire existence. And how that fantasy of him coming back to Naruto and letting him know of his everlasting love for the blonde was swept out from underneath him there was nothing left for him besides Hajime, not even any hope. He had no idea what he should cling to anymore; his daughter?

Of course, of course his daughter. Who else was there that needed him alive besides her? But how long could that last, until she was eighteen? Maybe sooner? Perhaps he would stay alive only to make sure that she had one parent she could come running to if she ever needed him.

Gosh, Naruto couldn't get over the fact that the illusion had been so nice, so soft and warm and welcoming, it was so believable. Nothing like all the other crazy, random dreams of Sasuke popping through the front door with a hand full of roses, and he would get down on a knee and serenade the blonde back into his heart; that had obvious flaws. But that, what he had experienced last night it had seemed so intact. Especially when Sasuke had expressed his love, his faithfulness to the blonde boy in calm, not rushed, not in a fake way.

He mixed the pancake batter with more vigor, shooing Ramen away with his foot.

He had to take into account that love was not like gum, and neither were everlasting. He had to stop forgetting that. It was so dobe-ish of him to keep believing in the fairy tale sprinkled with super charged lies and deception that laced every single good feeling.

The batter sizzled when it hit the pan in its little circular liquid form; he had to smile at the nickname Sasuke had given him when they were twelve, and how easily he could slip it into his mental banter.

Groaning he flipped the pancake with sloppy accuracy, and then hit his forehead with the palm of his hand. "Would you please just **get out of my head already?!**" This was always a great sign, talking to thin air. Sometimes he honestly felt like thin air was the only one who would listen to his desperate pleas, but maybe that was because it was the only thing he voiced his desperate pleas to.

He checked on the sausage when he had made a helping of pancakes, poking one of them with a fork. It came away clean; so unlike his heart. On the brink of breaking down, he took them off of the fire and turned off the stove.

Assembling his daughters food onto a plate kept his hands busy for a few more minutes, when he was finished he set it down next to a piece of chocolate cake on the table. Automatically his head turned to look at the little bookshelf in the corner; there was a piece of un-eaten chocolate cake there too. Dejectedly he picked them up and thought about how brutal this extra proof of the not-true dream that had practically re-tore him into many more millions of little pieces.

To get past the crippling pain, he smiled warily and licked some of the icing that had gotten onto his fingers, before washing the evidence down the garbage disposal.

Time to go watch up Hajime before her breakfast got cold. Still he walked as slow as a dead turtle to her room. Attempting to take this time to get his features in the right place, if he could do that maybe she wouldn't suspect anything. Eventually he was able to wince a happy smile onto his lips and pushed open her door.

"Breakfast is ready," is what he had been planning to say. He swallowed the words before they were ever fully formed. He was too preoccupied with the fact that there were two, count 'em two, raven haired lumps on his daughters little big girl bed, and one was considerably larger than the other.

"Shhhhh!" Hajime scolded, even though her mother had hardly been able to make a noise if he had wanted to. She sat up, "Daddy's sleeping!!"

The need to reassure his daughter that he was in perfect health switched on and he brought a finger to his lips teasingly, winked at her, and waved her over as to not disturb the sleeping raven who had not merely been a dream. Tears, happy exhilarated tears, pricked the back of his eyes momentarily but he blinked them away when his daughter came running at him full force after freeing herself from her constricting purple comforter.

The blonde bent over so that he was at her level, hoisted an eyebrow at her cute raven curls and ramen bowl pajamas. "Breakfast is ready," he said preparing for war.

"What is it?" She crossed her arms, just as ready to be picky.

"Pancakes," he deadpanned, also ready to confine her to the dining room chair until she ate more than half of her food, and she knew it too. Mommy always won.

"Bacon?"

"Sausage."

She smiled, "deal," and shook her mothers, also small, hand. She sprinted towards the dining room, and ultimately the filling of her empty belly.

He entered her room again, partly to prove to himself that the raven, his raven, who he had never stopped waiting for, and hadn't let that bastard Sai convince him of anything other than the raven coming home despite the rock solid 'evidence' he had claimed to have all of that time. How could he have doubted for a second that his realistic so-called dream was just that, but not that at all? It was far to mind boggling to be, plainly, a figment of his imagination. Sasuke had kept to his un-spoken promise to stay by the blonde boy's side for many millennia to come. He shouldn't have jumped to conclusions when he wasn't in the guest room; it had been a dumb thing to do. Naruto had momentarily lost it.

But not really, because here he was! Right here and he was a tangible person that was far too perfect to be inside of his head. The joy rose up to a rosy blossom on his whisker scared cheeks. He had too much happiness to keep inside so he bounded over to his love and leaped on top of him; half expecting him to poof away into the thin air he frequently asked advice from and held whole conversations with.

Sasuke woke with a jolt and practically threw Naruto onto the ground, but once he had his head he was down on the floor as well. "I'm sorry," he apologized pulling up the giddy blonde who pounced his raven again and held onto him for dear life, occasionally stroking his face.

The raven, with conviction and love, encircled his dobe around his waist, picking him up easily, and sat up against Hajime's bed with the younger boy comfortably in his lap. He couldn't refrain from pushing some of that blonde hair behind his ears and kissing his forehead just to have that sort of contact. Naruto relaxed onto his shoulder, wondering how he could feel so mended so quickly. He laid still contented with the hands running up and down his back and the raven hair that he played with absentmindedly. Sasuke having not showered for god knows how long smelled really good. Naruto was fond of his smell, sometimes, if he breathed in real deep, he could smell it in the blue silk that lay with him at night.

However, his racing thought process seemed set out to make sure he somehow found a way to make him feel awkward and embarrassed because just then he remembered that he hadn't bothered to put on any cloths this morning, only the robe. And he was straddling Sasuke with nothing else on underneath it, plus Sasuke was still shirtless which didn't help. The raven could get the wrong idea.

Feeling his love tense he pushed the boy at arm's length. This way he was able to look into those big beautiful blue eyes. Sasuke asked gently, "where's Hajime?" It had sort of a negative affect because his blonde got up off of his lap in a heartbeat then was running out the door. The best Sasuke could do was to keep close. Sasuke had figured that it wouldn't be the opportune moment for his reputation to mention his neglected-ness while Naruto's daughter was involved, and not when he was on a mommy rampage.

"Hajime?" the blonde called out when the dining room was empty, save for a cleaned plate and a half full glass of milk. Frantic, the blonde's mind reeled through all the scary as hell possibilities. He was more than prepared to suit up and check all of the houses, yards, and ditches in the village.

Sasuke went over and placed his hands on Naruto's hips, not contact the blonde seemed to calm down a little but not much. Then he simply stated, "The T.V.'s on." Making the boys heart lift incredibly. Naruto leaned into him, burring his face into the older boys toned chest and almost wept at his relief and stupidity.

"Some awesome Ninja I am," The blonde scoffed the words coming out half mumbled.

"Hm," Sasuke just held him close, kissing the top of his head before whispering. "What's for breakfast?" Naruto practically laughed out loud at such a normal request. Why was he still expecting something outlandishly impossible to happen so that he could tell whether or not he was still dreaming?

"Pancakes and Sausage; help yourself." He said hesitantly pulling away. "There's something I've got to do," and he stalked to the living room with that you-are-so-done-for look that Sasuke's mother used to give him to warm him that he could literally kiss his butt goodbye. The raven was sort of impressed that Hajime met Naruto-Zillah head on when he stomped up to her and placed his hands on his hips. Sasuke was starving, and did as he was told. He piled on a Naruto sized portion of breakfast, but he made sure that there was still an adequate amount left to attempt the feat of satisfying the blonde's never ending pit of a stomach.

When he waltzed into the living room Naruto was quietly telling Hajime something, Willy Wonka babbling on about chocolate in the background.

"…oh and where is your plate?"

Hajime sighed and tried to beat around actually doing the chore. "In the sink," she offered her mother a toothy, yet sorry, smile.

Naruto shook his head, his voice as sweet as vomit. "I don't think so, go put it away. And as punishment for lying I won pause your movie while you're gone," the blonde smirked in a knowing way. Sitting in the corner, otherwise those things called time outs, didn't faze the here year old. Confining her to the indoors on a beautiful day or taking away her T.V. time did the trick and made her learn her lesson.

"But! But! The best part is coming up!"

"Then you'd better hurry."

Amused, Sasuke sunk into the cushions and ate his meal with the same manors he was taught when he was little. Naruto got up off of the floor and sat down next to the raven. Sasuke unsatisfied with the space between them moved the blonde closer his left hand securely around the younger's hip. The raven could practically feel him blushing against his bare skin, but his love was more than cautious to lean against him when he was half naked like this. He wasn't too fond of the idea.

"Dobe, you have any extra cloths I could borrow?" He asked. He knew that mostly everything Naruto had to offer him would be much too small or another mans. Sasuke almost growled at someone else keeping their personal effects here.

The blonde nodded warily. "Yeah," he swallowed thickly, "some of Sai's things should fit you…" A flicker of emotion Sasuke couldn't place crossed the beautiful tan face for a millisecond. Then it was all smiles again. However that…something stayed deep in Naruto's eyes. After a moment of examining it the emotion he could now identify was hurt. "Do you want me to, uh, get some of his things for you?"

"Why are you always trying to get away, hm?" Sasuke drawled placing his plate and glass on the ground. He lifted the light blonde into his lap, tucking his securely under his chin, and held him so tightly to show that he was never going to let him go.

"I'm not!" The younger stretched some that he was more comfortable on Sasuke's lap. The older loosened his grip to let him do so, but his arms were like an iron vise around his waist once Naruto's head came crashing down on Sasuke's shoulder like a wave tossed onto a sandy shoreline signaling that he was done moving. The blonde was caged in his best friend's arms and yet, his heart had never felt so free. That was proof enough that he couldn't ever leave. He could only hope that Sasuke would stay by his side like he had promised he would, and keep on expressing his love like this.

Although, Sasuke was off thinking about this Sai person, and what he had done to Naruto, his Naruto. Automatically he tightened his grip but not so much as to break Naruto into two or anything, lest he forget that he had accomplished that already. However, concerning that man, he didn't want to push the blonde for answers when their relationship was staring on the rocks, so instead he whispered. "I love you."

"I know, the blonde sighed, his eyelashes tickling a pale neck. "I know."

"Me too? Me too?" Bounded in Naruto's daughter and she managed to fit right in between them perfectly, as if he had been designed between the two of them. She smiled up at them expectantly. Sasuke smoothed come stray curls away from her cute as a button face.

The raven leaned over and kissed her cheek, "you too," and he smiled, not smirked, at her when she giggled. How he wished that she was his.

Naruto beamed with happiness when he situated his daughter into the forever safe circle of his arms and buried his nose into her rose scented curls, breathing a long sigh. Everything was as it should be. All the fretting, worrying, waiting for the raven had pulled off tenfold. And then, like icing on top of the cake he did in fact get to eat too, the raven pulled them both close to his heart. A loving, rumbaing vibrated through him as he hummed his mothers tune. It was bliss.

And it continued to be so even when Hajime began fighting to see the end of her movie; when she got free she jumped and danced her jazz hands in full swing. She smiled and smiled, putting her typical theatrics to work to make her mother smile and smile. Just like now.

While he watched her from the warmth of his lovers lap, a pleasant almost permanent joy turned up the corners of his mouth; the exact way he hadn't been able to in the last four years. He was praying that many a morning he could wake up feeling the exact same that he did right then.

This love that covered him like a hard candy coating didn't even shatter, and peel away when there was a soft rap on the door. Sasuke, far to content to let the blonde get away, picked him up and carried him to the front door Naruto giggling almost the whole way. Opening the door, an arm securely under Naruto's butt to keep him up, reveled a lively Sakura. The blonde gave her a sheepish wave then resumed his place on Sasuke's shoulder, not having a single fear of being dropped. How could he? When wrapped up in such muscular arms he didn't have a care in the world.

A little raven headed blur came running up behind them, sprinted between her father's legs and pounced the cherry blossom screeching, "Sakura!"

Naruto whispered, "Put me down, please?" A twinge of regret laced into his words and even more in his eyes when Sasuke did let him down. The raven pressed his lips to the blonde's nose for a brief moment before saying.

"I'm going to go get dressed, where can I find some cloths?"

"Guest room and the bathroom is right next to it," he answered. Sasuke kissed both his cheeks, then disappeared down the hall. Naruto turned back to Sakura, a wide knowing grin consumed her face as she fervently whispered to Hajime and kept her little innocent mind away from her parent's public displays of affection. He stopped her when she opened her mouth to speak. "Don't you dare even think anything that I'll make you regret later!" He warned, pointing at her and giving her a look like he could really read her thoughts.

"I was just going to say that you two sure have gotten awfully comfortable with each other," she sing songed the last bit and invited herself into the house, pushing past a not-really agreeable Naruto who couldn't keep the damn smile from her face at her words. Not that he could help it really, he was practically spitting up pure unabashed happiness. An emotion that he had only felt once when Sasuke had made love to him. But this was hardly the time or place to be thinking about such scandalous things when he could hardly allow Sasuke to kiss him, and plus Sakura would tease him nonstop about it.

Naruto shrugged at what she said, then whispered giddily. "He loves me," and spun around once like a love struck teen—which is exactly what he was.

"I heard," she giggled back, releasing the wiggling Hajime so that she could catch the ever end of her movie. "So," she looked him in the eyes so seriously that he involuntarily gulped. Plus there was that smidge of sadness in her face even if she knew that she really didn't have any feelings for Sasuke. The blonde had guilt hit him like an anvil over the head. He had already forgotten about his friend once, and he had promised not to do it again. He felt like a failure. "Have you told him who Hajime's father is yet?" she said quite loudly.

"Shhhhh!" he covered her mouth with both of his hands; he hated it that she was still a little taller than him. "And no I haven't told him yet. So be nice and shut-it or you'll ruin everything." With a warning look he took his hands away from her mouth wiping the saliva off on his robe with a disgusted, "Yuck!"

Sakura crossed her arms, "so, when are you going to tell him?"

Blue eyes narrowed, "When are you going to get off my back?"

"Never."

"Are you always going to be this annoying?"

"Every day."

"Prying into my love life?"

"And you love me for it," she stuck out her tongue like a five year old, and being an adult Naruto returned the favor, but crossing his eyes as well to have more of an impact. "But seriously, when are you going to tell him," she stepped in closer, "that's he a dad?" Obviously she did not grasp the concept of whispering; her voice carried just like Naruto's, but at least he knew how to be discrete…or so he thought.

Naruto sighed, he was not going to be able to weasel his way out of her grip, not when she was such an instigator…and looked at him with those big, green, puppy dog eyes. "I'm telling his today, with my son and handy dandy scrapbook." He said as he went into the living room to watch Hajime curled up on the floor with Ramen singing along with the credits rolling across the screen a new DVD in her hand.

Groaning behind him the cherry blossom spat, "That's romantic," sarcastically and watched quite angrily when her puppet of observation rolled his eyes at her.

"I'm not going for romantic. Not throwing up, or looking like such a scrawny wimp is my angle. Besides he never said that he wanted to be dad, not of my children. I mean, come on Sakura I'm a boy!" he whispered just as loudly as she did.

"I mean, come on Naruto he was all over you!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," he griped. "Watch Hajime for me, I'm going to go get dressed." He said patting her arm with affection and heading toward his room. There was a flutter of cloth from the room across the hall, and Naruto almost gave in to that deep desire. The one to peek in and possibly catch a glimpse of his loves toned chest, he'd love to see if anything else had changed much. But that would be far too embarrassing if he was caught by either Sasuke or Sakura. More so if by Sakura who would never let him forget it and would hold it against him until he made her explode with his plasma gun, or he caught her doing something equally as juvenile with her new love interest; Ino.

He slipped into his room and then into his own cloths; an orange sweater and a pair of semi-tight jeans that flared some at the bottom so that his ankles didn't feel trapped. Looping an orange studded belt through his belt loops he then walked over to examine his appearance. He crossed his fingers and hoped that he could see just a little of whatever it was in him that Sasuke saw.

To his own eyes the picture was mediocre at best. Disappointed with the image that the mirror portrayed of him he stuck his tongue out at it to blatantly show it his disgust. Someone like Sasuke, a bottomless pit of sexiness deserved someone almost up to par, someone who wouldn't bring the raven any sort of shame. Naruto would, he could do that and more without even lifting his little finger. And he couldn't help but wonder why Sasuke had chosen him of all the candidates in the world were throwing themselves at his feet? Why him?

He laid his head against the reflective glass, enjoying the way it pressed against his forehead coolly. Staring into his own eyes he saw nothing there. Nothing special. Practically worthless.

Like an ice cube he froze when he found himself resting against the chest of another. "What are you thinking about?" his capturer purred into his ear. Blue eyes turned toward the mirror and they like the picture despite his own meager appearance. Sasuke and Naruto; together.

He turned to attach himself to the not half naked raven and answered, "You." But it came out as a shaky sigh because of the reflection, and his love. He was so very self conscious. He couldn't see what it was inside and outside of him that Sasuke saw. No matter though, he held high regards in Sasuke's heart; for above anyone else. Naruto decided that God, Ala, Kami, or all of the above must have made those black eyes special to think that something like him was so…he didn't even know what. He didn't think he was beautiful, just different than most others by a landslide and that was not a favor quality in a person most of the time. If Sasuke liked him, then he wouldn't complain.

"Hn," Sasuke mumbled holding his dear one close. "What about me?

Naruto shrugged, "Everything about you. I want to figure it all out again." That was only a tiny white lie because he was mostly thinking selfishly of himself, which he should stop. He now had everything he could ever possibly want. To ask for more or to change all of a sudden was out of the question. He had to stop being so fickle.

"I haven't changed much," the blonde in his arms snorted but said nothing. "Well what about you, when are you going to tell me about your past four years?" he questioned.

"Soon," was the boys reply, "soon."

--

Lunch was packed in a thick wicker basket courtesy of Sakura, Naruto, and Hajime who all pitched in and made sandwiches. The raven insisted that he help, but got banished to the living room time after time. He compromised with the blonde and did all of the dirty dishes. He had an interesting time experimenting with the concept of a mechanical dishwasher and got quite a few laughs out of his audience until Hajime marched over to help him, and Sakura and Naruto retreated to the living room.

Sakura squeezed the blonde to her bosom and hushed, "Good luck," quietly before releasing her hold on him and taking a step back. He smiled brightly and kissed her temple.

"Don't worry so much. I'll be fine. Everything will be fine." Naruto's sight passed right through her and looked intently at the wall behind her. Etched into his features was fear as clear as his crystal blue eyes. She tightened her hold on his hand reassuringly. It was obvious that he was talking more to himself then he was to her. It seemed like he needed a pep talk or two to be able to build up an extra but of courage to take the trip out to that grave site, sit, and tell his love everything. And to believe whole heartedly that the pros outweighed the cons when it didn't really seem like they did. He could borrow her courage if he needed it, she would freely give it away to him.

Sakura kissed his forehead in return and said, "He loves you." As if she truly did know just what to say. These words made him so much more at ease with the mountain he had to make move. A lazy, happy smile crossed his lips before he bit them and his face turned beat red in a heated blush. She hugged him close again. "Everything _will_ be fine, you'll see," she guaranteed.

"Momma," Hajime whined stomping into the living room. "We're ready. Come on!"

"So impatient," he scoffed, breaking from the pink haired girls hold on and chasing his daughter around, his hands becoming like small pinchers.

The raven haired girl made several ugly faces at her mother, and giggled. "You can't get me! You can't get me, mommy!" Then she would dash away with her three year old super charged power of getting away, no matter how small her legs actually were. Naruto was green with envy of his own flesh and blood, he wished he could get away from having to tell Sasuke anything and everything about his life in the last four years. He wanted the raven to know it all already.

Sasuke walked in on the catastrophic sight of Naruto chasing Hajime and Sakura being their cheerleader on the sidelines, making up not-rhyming cheers as she went. The blonde dived and caught the wiggling girl. He scooped her up and blew raspberries on her exposed tummy as punishment. When he put her down she ran straight to Sasuke and hid behind him, making some of the same faces at Naruto, who just shook his head and gave her the evil eye.

The younger walked up to them, "You ready?" the blonde said, breathless but not because of the running.

Sasuke nodded, he went over to Naruto's side and enjoyed it when Naruto leaned onto him for support without any delay or self doubt. Hajime, losing her shield and game, waltzed over to Sakura who helped her into her winter attire, that way she wouldn't freeze to death. The pink haired cherry blossom hoisted a bag filled with her presents onto her back. That way she could share her treasure with her brother.

To get the picnic basket and get going meant that one would have to leave the others side. And Naruto, for one, really didn't want to go anywhere. But Sakura, being their saving grave she brought them the basket. She had gone so far as to tie the scrapbook to the top with a big pink ribbon. Sasuke took it from her, thanking her politely and told the blonde he'd carry it. Naruto argued that he was more than capable of carrying a light weight basket across town, but lost the fight when Sasuke used his charm and lips to win. Bastard.

Hajime got impatient with their bickering and told them to bluntly, "Put a sock in it, and hurry up because she didn't have all day." Sakura agreed, not helping much, and snickered. "That's right," she wished Naruto luck times two and headed home.

Naruto got his orange coat and gave Sasuke one of Sai's that he had left there once before. Then they too left.

--

The brush was thick in several parts of this path where the thicket had over grown and infested the winding road. No one in the village even visited their dead loved ones in this grave yard for fear of ghosts. Sprits the inhabited the place where his son's body lie. Naruto had to wonder why people buried their dead here at all, only the ones in the same spot as Naruto ever came here, the ones who had lost children. The women and their husbands braised the hollow ground to visit the loves who once rested so safely in their bellies, but once out and beyond their mothers control the little, helpless beings just slipped away. All the parents were left with was the question why.

Even to this day Naruto found it so unfair that someone took him away. The blonde may have been a monster but he never deserved such a thing, like every other mother. Fate was just unusual and seemed to have it out for him. If it were a tangible thing it would have to die.

Naruto charged ahead of his best friend and daughter; they were too preoccupied with a staring contest to notice. He went to set up the picnic first before they came here and Sasuke saw. The blonde was so nervous. So scared he felt like he might die from cardiac arrest if his heart didn't quit pounding so hard in his chest. If his thoughts kept up like this he would for sure.

Maybe Sasuke would hate him, but not because he got pregnant and gave him all of this responsibility, but instead because it was his fault he had lost Sasuke, his son. Maybe Sasuke would change his mind then; what self respecting teenager wanted to be tied down?

And a tiny piece of his heart whispered to his brain that maybe if he left that would be in everyone's best interest. The blonde burned with shame as he thought on it; he had gotten so used to the idea that the raven wasn't ever coming around; maybe it would be better if the raven stayed away from them like Sai wanted. It would hurt, sure. Just thinking about it hurt, but not much more than the normal everyday pain that he had to bare when the older hadn't showed back up in his life. If Sasuke wanted to go, Naruto would let him leave.

The blonde had only ever wanted to make him happy.

"Hello," Naruto said to the grave where his son, Sasuke Jr., lie. He prayed that somehow, someway his words floated to his little boy up above him in that wide stretch of blue. "I miss you," and he kissed the headstone and stroked it with endearment because it really was all that he had of his son. He tried not to think about how much Sasuke must hate him, and how much Sasuke would.

In an attempt to fend off the tears he busied himself by spreading the gray blanket over the grassy plain, luckily there wasn't any snow. And he began to set out the sandwiches and drinks they packed. The scrapbook he set near the headstone. The pink ribbon blew away in the wind.

"Naruto!" Sasuke's voice boomed in the distance. He wasn't all that far off really. He would come out of the woods and see, and all the bliss would be but a memory.

"I'm-I'm over here!" Naruto yelled back, a knot twisting itself in his gut. He swallowed hard to ward away the bile in the back of his throat; he was not planning on throwing up if he could help it. Though when he thought about it…it didn't sound all bad because it might lesson the anxiety in his stomach, but it was too late to duck behind a bush. He was here.

Naruto figured that there must have been something in his expression that gave his feelings away because Sasuke came over, kissed his forehead, and held the blonde very close.

Hajime made a beeline for her brother and showed him all the things they got for their birthday. She talked animatedly to him and even occasionally pressed her ear to the ground, the grass tickling ever so softly, just to make sure that he was listening. She didn't understand that he wasn't really down there. That he couldn't hear her from there, if at all.

Time, for Naruto, went in the slowest of motion possible when Sasuke's eyes turned to see the headstone, and then turned away misunderstanding why his name was there.

Naruto gave him a wobbly smile, wondering what exactly was going through his head. He said in a hushed, almost choked, voice, "I'd like you to meet _our_ son." He watched as all the color drained from his already pale face, but he didn't run away screaming so possibly this was just the shock factor kicking in. The blonde sat and tugged on the larger hand of the motionless statue pulling him into a sitting position. Sasuke held the boy's hand firmly.

Sasuke stared at Hajime with brand new eyes, like he'd been baptized or came up spit shinned. Now, he could see all of the similarities between them. The hair was a big part of it. She had a crooked pinky on her left hand just like him, and her eyes reflected the two of them as one entity. He could even fathom the reason why he had been so blind as to not have noticed it the moment he laid eyes on her. But…caution was in his nature, he had to be sure.

"They're really mine?" He questioned, he didn't seem to have the ability to rip his eyes from that little girl; _his_ little girl.

The blonde hesitated out of habit, but nodded slowly biting his lip. "You're the only person I've ever…um, been with. So, I'm pretty sure you're her father. But, I understand if you don't want to stick around now that you know because of all the pressure I've put on your shoulders by telling you. If you want to go, I won't hold it against you." Sasuke was appalled that the blonde had said it so sincerely, as if it had been his expectation to begin with. He knew he had left his loved one without warning, without so much as a proper goodbye, but there wasn't a snowballs chance in hell he was going to take him up on his offer. Since the beginning he had wanted Naruto, and he had wished so desperately that he could be her father.

Aggravated, he swiftly took hold of the dobe and brought him into his lap, albeit gently. "I love you," he started out, rocking the blonde from side to side and mapping out his face with kisses. "And I love them. I was actually afraid that I wouldn't be able to make you mine, or stay in your heart, and an even harder time maintaining some involvement in her life if I wasn't their father." He paused, before cupping the face of the boy he loved so much and added. "I want you, and I want them." He couldn't think of a better way to express what he was saying then to bend his head and press his lips to Naruto's plush ones. The blonde's brain went foggy with their lips pressed together like this, in, technically, their first kiss. The sweetness of the thought was to tantalizing, too good to pass up, so he did just as his hormones commanded him.

The heat and the passion they shared wasn't like before, overwhelmingly pleasant yes—so much so that Naruto's tummy warmed at it; it was then that he felt his heart become fully alive—but it wasn't just full of lust. Sasuke's love rang true as a bell in it and Naruto lost his grip on reality. He wrapped his arms around Sasuke's neck to take the precautionary measure to make sure he didn't float away.

It felt so right. He couldn't keep from crying because he was so happy.

They broke apart, Sasuke rested his forehead against Naruto's wiping away some on the stray tears with the pad of his thumb. "Was that too fast?" He asked, genuinely concerned about how fast or slow their relationship progressed, and at what speed the younger wanted them to go. Since the blonde was all that mattered. He, for one, didn't want it to go along like last time; he'd love to make love, but first he needed to make sure that Naruto was comfortable with everything. If he was going to make this work between them he owed him that much.

Naruto merely waved him off. "Tears of joy," he explained smiling shyly. Sasuke returned the gesture and leaned down slightly to catch those lips again; what could he say other then he couldn't get enough. He couldn't help his desires, not when the blonde was so beautiful and right for him. Although, to his dismay the blonde bent his head so that he couldn't do what he wanted without forcing his head up.

"But, I don't think I'm ready to kiss all the time, or anything. Not-not yet." The blonde knew why, and it wasn't because he wasn't necessarily ready to let the raven kiss him, or more for that matter. He hoped that Sasuke didn't ask though, he would tell him, but he didn't want to. It was because Naruto still had a tiny spot inside of him rubbed raw and had a very extreme feeling Sasuke might leave again. The blonde didn't want to get to, to attached to the idea of him being around all of the time if he could turn around, go back, and the blonde would be alone.

Luckily he didn't ask. "Tease," he kid, and burrowed through the excessive amounts of spikes to kiss his head.

"I'm-I'm really, really sorry!" He did feel horrible that he had waited all this time for him, only to chicken out and beat around several bushes. He loved Sasuke, kissing should be as normal as breathing.

Although, to Sasuke it didn't matter. "I get to be _the father of your children_, there's _nothing_ for you to be sorry for." Naruto relaxed against him; he was far too good for the blonde. Nothing to be sorry for, what a thought! It never crossed his mind that he could be freed so easily from that obligation to apologize for every mistake he made.

"But," Sasuke drawled. "You still have a story to tell." This time it was Naruto's turn to have all the color drain from his face. It was still a story that he didn't want to tell; that would require re-living it all.

The raven picked up one of the sandwiches, keeping a careful eye on Hajime. She was dancing, falling down onto the soft grass, chasing butterflies, and singing as loud as her lungs would let her, and she was his. God, Naruto didn't have anyone else in his life besides her, Sasuke Jr., and his family of course, but on one romantically involved.

Naruto took in many deep breaths, denied the sandwich Sasuke offered him, got the scrapbook, and began the telling of his tale.

--

Naruto started where the book did with a picture of the younger team seven. Then he truly began with the day he was pregnant and threw up all over Sakura, not leaving a single detail out. He told him about the nine month period of hell in which he was with children. How that alone had kept him alive. He told him about his mood swings, his many food combinations, how the whole ordeal was really hard on his body because he wasn't designed to bare children. Naruto even spent a good five minutes expressing just how much he hated the damn wheel chair he had been confined to the last month of it. He told him about the baby shower, how he was being such a snot when it looked so beautiful, and not confessing that his back just hurt a lot. When Tsunade had told him he was having twins how he was so excited to be having two of Sasuke's babies. He then explained how and when and where they were brought into this world. How he had called out to Sasuke, how badly he had needed him then…

..and in a hushed tone how he had woken up only to find that one of his children had died. How he didn't know how to feel about it. How he had blamed the raven; why he blamed him.

The blonde told him everything that he could remember; even about Sai who had been trying for the past two years to gain his affection, about when they went to look for some sign of goodbye in the apartment. How Sai had told him that he had found nothing. He said all of this without pausing, barely coming out of his story to take a breath; save when he stopped to yeel at Hajime to get out of the bushes.

There were no secrets he kept to himself; no parts he edited to sound better and less painful. Naruto poured out the last four years of his time here on the earth and his soul then and there before Sasuke who let him speak by staying quiet the entire time. But it wasn't a bored quiet, it was a very attentive quiet that Sasuke was known for. Staying still and listening; a feat Naruto could never accomplish.

The raven was a bit shocked to say the least, but when he finished Sasuke didn't let the moment draw onto an awkward silence and he spoke kind but piercing words.

"If only I had been here…" Naruto had always thought the same.

"You did what you had to do. Just…don't do it again, okay?" his mind ran over his words and he amended quickly. "Not that Im saying your duties aren't important. I meant just don't leave me again. I don't think I could take it a second time around." He finished lame and flustered.

Sasuke chuckled, "Dobe."

"I'm not a dobe, teme!"

The raven shook his head. "I'm only going to go somewhere if I can take you and Hajime with me. And if I have to go alone in a mission I'll make sure Im only gone for a period of…four months…"

"Three," the blonde negotiated.

Sasuke eyed him, but caved when Naruto stuck out his lip and said please sweetly, it was too cute to resist. "…three months. Does that sound good to you?" Sasuke stole him; his arms hung loosly around the youngers waist and he started to knead an exposed patch of skin on his back right above the line of his jeans.

Ignoring the hands on his back and the blush on his cheeks he said, "Anything you say sounds good."

The raven smirked pleased with the reaction, and the deep blush that coveted that beautiful face again. "I love you, dobe." He words were whipered, a quiet rolling of the tongue, like silk.

"I love you too, teme." Just as quiet, a still night. Beautiful. Sasuke, under normal circumstances, would have had no reason to be reserved. More than anything he wanted to kiss the pink out of those full lips with so much heat and passion that Naruto wouldn't object to exclusive kissing. He wanted it to be a normal occurrence, or course spectacular, but not an awkward confusing thing. The raven would wait until the blonde was comfortable with more advanced displays of affection. So Sasuke could wait; for Naruto.

The younger of the two snuggled close, sharing the scrapbook between both their laps. Sasuke, to naruto's dismay, kept flipping through it trying to suck up and make his own memories. Lingering on the very pregnant Naruto who progressively got larger in each set of photos. Beside him Nauto would whine and beg the raven to skip ahead since he looked so fat and ugly. He never wanted Sasuke to see him like that.

"Quit calling my boyfriend ugly," Sasuke snapped, growling the words. He started Hajime who was leaping after a pair of frogs in the grass, Naruto seemed like a deer in the headlights.

The blonde cocked his head to one side, his blue eyes as wide as they could possibly be. "Boyfriend?" he whipered curiously. Wondering what exactly the raven(that loved him) thought of him, or what he wanted them to be. What he had always wanted them to be before he left all those years ago. If he truly wanted them to be…boyfriends? Because that's what Naruto needed, and wanted to hear from him. He imagined how positivally awe inspiring he would feel when he raven claimed him as his own. A small smile crept up onto the boys blushing face.

Coal met azul for a long moment. The older was the one to break eyes contact, and he purced his lips. "You're right that's not strong enough to properly express how I feel about you. Partners, then?" He said this because he wasn't sure the blonde would be to snug with it if he called them lovers, he didn't want Naruto to think he expected them to do explicate things.

"Partners?" Naruto asked bluntly. Tears pricked the back of his eyes. His smile going from a small and inconspicuous to an ear to ear grin in a happy daze. Thw words swirling around in his head like a rodent on speed making everything a little fuzzy. He must have been dreaming.

"Mine?"

"Yours," Naruto breathed a long sigh. He jumped up suddenly. "_**Hajime! What have I told you about going too far into the woods? Get your butt back out here where I can see you!**_" When Hajime came out of the trees Naruto gave her the 'I'm watching you' sign and plopped back down next to Sasuke keeping a steady eye on his rebellious daughter.

Sasuke just chuckled, glad to be there.

--

Mmkay, I'm think about giving a nickname to Hajime from Sasuke. I have two that I'm debating on. Help?!

A-Button (Aka-Cute as a button)

B-Baby girl.

Review and tell me how proud you are that I kept to my word and updated within the week!

PLEASE AND TANK YOU!


	19. The Sasuke Sitter

The Sasuke Sitter

--

Sasuke was amazed and yet petrified at the mere thought that he was now a father; the father of his beloved's children. He was in a state of awe because he never thought that he would live to see the day. Of course, he wanted to grow old with Naruto and cherish him far after death, but this was a miracle, pure and simple. It went above and beyond his expectations, and those were the taking in a couple little ones from the local orphanage if Naruto had the need to become a mother; thinking on it now Naruto would probably want to anyway being an orphan himself. He knew what it was like.

After falling in love with the blonde he had accepted that his bloodline would die with him and Itachi; to him the trade was a fair one. He would get Naruto, and he…he was more than enough to satisfy the desires in the black eyed boys blackened heart. Though, here she was, a beautiful baby girl. Full of energy and had an extraordinary likeness to her mother; and she was his. And here was he, the sleeping child whom he'd missed out on ever meeting; ever seeing, ever holding, but he loved him. And he too was Sasuke's. That was extraordinary to him.

The raven was also petrified; fear struck him dumb, struck him like the rains wet. Because like father like son; what if he was just like his father, a cold hearted, old fool? If not anywhere else, inside the home he wanted to be firm and unyielding, the man of the household, but also kind to his children, and to his love. He needed to make sure that they knew that he did in fact love them, respect them. Both deserved no less and much, much more then he could ever give.

He knew it wasn't going to be easy; raising a child and opening his heart to her. Don't get him wrong, he loved her with all of his heart, but since he had been shut off for so long he wasn't sure how to know for certain that she knew that. She knew his love for her so much that when she was older she would stake her life on it.

Well, he couldn't hold her in the same fashion that he held Naruto, and really, that was the only way he knew how to show affection. He would spend time with her and make himself a part of her life; so familiar that she took him for granted. That would be the day, but would it be enough? Sasuke guessed that he would have to ask Naruto and his family for some pointers. Pointer number one—how in the hell had he done it all?

Suddenly, when their visit was steadily coming to a close Sasuke didn't want to go, he didn't want to leave this little meadow where his son was buried. He knew everything about Naruto's past now; he had no qualms, no disappointments, but he had no clue how to proceed, he didn't have any good examples of a good father to mold himself into. Uchihas were good at everything, exempting parenting. He remembered his own father being a favorite picking, impersonal, heartless son of a bitch. If his daughter ever felt like he had back then—like she had to somehow earn is love—he would be forced to shoot himself because she didn't have anything to earn, she had it all already. He was proud to be her father, more proud then he had ever been in this whole lifetime of his.

Angry though, he was also angry. Angry that he had to leave in the first place, despite all of his good reasons. Screw Orochimaru he would have gotten to witness this birth of his babies. And maybe, just maybe, his son would still be…alive.

From the circle of his arms Naruto tried to leave. Sasuke growled and pulled him back down into his lap. There was no way he was letting the blonde go, he wasn't ready to step out of this field, he wasn't ready to try and rack his brain for ideas of how to do right by his family.

"We come and visit every weekend," the blonde whispered feeling the reluctance his loves body. "Besides we have things to do."

"Like?" Sasuke inquired, letting his beloved slip away and without him he grew slightly cold. Naruto gathered up the empty plastic bags, Hajime's presents—until she told him to put those back because they belonged to her brother—and the scrapbook which he handled with the most care. It was made of memories, might as well have been made of glass.

"_Like,_" Naruto drawled, "cleaning the house, and going to Tsunade's later to decide your punishment.

"Screw cleaning the house," Sasuke muttered lying back on his son's grave. He received a light swat on his leg for his mild language in front of their child; Naruto didn't want her to pick up any nasty habits, not from the home at least. "And Tsunade already read me my rights last night after I put you to bed." He said nonchalantly. Still in his heart of hearts he would be content to lie here for a while longer, even though the wind was becoming piercing, and think. He knew for sure that he wasn't going to leave Naruto; he couldn't do that again, no matter what the circumstances might be. He just wouldn't do that; end of story. But what if because he wasn't able to make himself a decent father Naruto packed up their kid and walked out on him. What is for this Sai person? He had managed to worm his way in to the blonde's heart, deep enough to break it. It was much less harsh then the wounds that he, himself, had inflicted on that vital organ.

Right now, in that moment, all he needed was for Naruto to come and lie with him for a minute or two and he would be reassured. That was all it would take.

"Really?" The smaller boy asked closing the lid on the picnic basket and latching it shut. Then he crawled back to Sasuke now that everything was put up. Hajime was busy saying her lengthy goodbyes to her brother; they would have a good five minutes before they would have to move at all. So, Sasuke got his wish, the blonde sprawled out across his chest, the older laced his finders through the soft hair and began to massage the boys scalp. "What did she say?"

The raven smirked kissing his blonde head. "I'm confined to your side until you release me—"

"Good luck with that," Naruto snorted.

"—_but_ she's sent a baby sitter to make sure that I don't rape you again." He scoffed.

"You didn't rape me the first time!" The blonde shrieked somewhat under his breath. He didn't need Hajime asking him what the word 'rape' meant, he couldn't handle that when she was only three years old. The raven shook his head at the statement as if he didn't believe the blonde boy, not even a little. Naruto hit his chest, playfully, but with just enough force to captivate Sasuke's full attention. "You didn't rape me. I wanted it just as much as you did," blue eyes searched black ones to investigate them and see for himself that there was no more doubt. "Okay?"

Rolling over he trapped Naruto underneath him. "You too good."

The blonde didn't agree, but he let it go because he didn't want to get into another pointless argument, especially not one that he would lose. "You love me."

"That I do," the raven breathed lovingly, kissing his tan beauty's neck.

Naruto shivered despite himself at the lips at his throat, when they touched his skin felt like molten lava, in these instances he wasn't even sure what cold really meant when he felt like he was going to melt. He tugged on Sasuke's sleeve to get him to pull away. "Who's the sitter?" he inquired somewhat flustered and lazy. He already had a suspicion that his father had volunteered eagerly at that to keep both eyes firmly planted on the two. And he wouldn't hesitate to reprehend Sasuke for touching Naruto somewhere he didn't find appropriate, like kissing him lightly on occasion, or just the simple act of holding him for longer than a friend hugging period of time. Though, in the long run it wouldn't be to terribly awful if it was him. Sasuke and Naruto could live with it until Tsunade vetoed the motion for a sitter and they sent him packing.

"That asshole, Sai," Sasuke huffed quite unhappy with the overall decision. Of all the people that were qualified, why him? Although he could hardly wait to rub it in the boys face that he had failed to win the blonde boy's heart despite his valiant efforts; Naruto had still chosen him. Right now though his dobe seethed with anger and shook with vengeance. So much so that he was practically vibrating and gripping onto Sasuke's jacket for fear of hurting one of them; this was the kind of emotion that Kyubbi thrived off of.

He didn't want Sai in his house ever again, especially not as the appointed person to watch them like a hawk as they tried to begin their solitary life together and be a family. The black haired boy wouldn't like it if they touched at all, he would tell Tsunade false things just to keep them apart so that he could try once again to pry his way into Naruto's heart like he had for the past two years. It would be hell.

"Never mind him. He's nothing. I'll kill him if he tries to keep me from you." Naruto relaxed some, but he kept his hold on Sasuke. He had seen them both fight before, and taking into consideration that Sasuke had greatly improved his game Sai would have the fight of his life and for it too. Naruto had no doubt that Sai could hold his own for awhile, but in the end Sasuke would be the victor unless Sai got extremely lucky.

His nuzzled his head into Sasuke's chest; since he was here he was sure that everything would be just fine. "Come on slow pokes, let's go home!" Hajime stood over them hands on her hips.

"She's right," Naruto whispered pulling out of Sasuke's arms regretfully he got up and dusted off some of the grass that had clung to his pants and coat. Then he outstretched his hand to his love who had rolled back on his back and watched him with soft eyes—who knew the eyes of a killer could become so loving. Sighing he got up on his own and only took the hand when he was on his own two feet and intertwined their fingers. The blonde turned to face him and said in a hushed voice, "I missed you," like he had in the beginning. Sasuke squeezed his hand.

Naruto was surprisingly joyous considering he was standing before his son's grave, but the day before last he had lost both of his Sasuke's. Yesterday one had come back to him, for him, and no one but him. It was a new beginning.

He grabbed the picnic basket quickly before he forgot it like an absentminded idiot. Sasuke didn't protest against him carrying the thing because he knew that Naruto would hand over the basket under the right sort of pressure, but he wouldn't be happy about it.

Hajime stamped her foot, "Hurry up!" The blonde shot their daughter a look. "Pleeeease?!"

"Sure baby!" Naruto yelled back and stepped forward so that Sasuke could take her hand as well, but she avoided him when he outstretched his hand. Instead she lifted up her arms to Naruto wanting to be held by her mother.

"Here," Sasuke said taking the picnic basket from the blonde and letting him go. Naruto swooped up his daughter, his wide smile changing into a sloppy kiss upon her cheek. She rested her head on his shoulder while they walked, Sasuke—still wanting to be able to physically touch his love—rested a hand at the small of his back. Their daughter was asleep soon after they started their trek; it was near her naptime anyway. They came out of the thicket and made their way home in a complete and comfortable silence. It was just like that day on the dock when they were five and didn't know the others name. They didn't want to fill up this time with useless, embarrassed words, they'd much rather drink in each other's presence.

When they reached the porch littered with various toys and things Sasuke asked gently, "Can I take her to bed?" Naruto already had the door open and was half way inside when he stopped dead in this tracks. He smiled back at his…boyfriend…

"Sure," he said. "I'll unpack the basket." Sasuke dropped what he was holding and carefully took his daughter—his flesh and blood—from her mother as if she was made of glass and should be handled as such. Thankfully, she was a very heavy sleeper. She didn't stir, not even when she reflexively held onto her father, like she already knew subconsciously that she belonged to him. He was already dreading the day he would have to give her away. Naruto watched the scene a quiet smile on his lips, enjoying the way that they were; father and daughter. Then he picked up the discarded basket and headed into his home before Sasuke.

The raven went to the purple bedroom, and Naruto ascended to the kitchen proceeding to unpack their garbage from the meal they had shared at the grave site, and the much-loved scrap book he had received a little over two years ago when he went through that rough patch with his family. He was pleased that he had it; it had made the explaining so much easier since Sasuke could see the last four years for himself. His stomach tangled around itself once more though, when he started to think about confronting Sai.

He didn't want to have to deal with the lying bastard ever again; much less did he want him to live with him and his love. How could that man have said to love him for so long? And yet too casually lie for his own selfish intentions, in turn making the blonde lose that much more hope. Sasuke had left _for_ Naruto, to protect him from any harm that would have come to him had the older boy stayed. But to blatantly disregard the blonde's feelings and call those actions love was appalling. He had said that he wanted what was best for the blonde, apparently not. That note would have made Naruto so happy…and when in love isn't that other person happiness the only thing that matters.

Soon enough, because he had done so much thinking, he finished unpacking the picnic basket like a robot. He tucked it back in its place up above the washer and dryer. Gently, he took the scrap book so that he could return it to the safety of his bedroom, neatly on his book shelf where is could quietly collect dust from this day forward; it was almost downright depressing to retire it after it had been a constant companion through the most trying of times.

Naruto was still pretty shook up about the whole Sai-lying deal; it was so inconceivable that he would lie to him. He dreaded facing the man who had grown on him and against all odds had a hold on a specific place in Naruto's heart, maybe not the same sort of spot that Sasuke had or his daughter but it was pretty significant. The blonde used to believe that he could trust him…with anything.

When he passed by the bathroom he heard something strange—a loud, worn out sigh and the dressing or undressing sound of material rubbing together. Trying to clear his scenes he honed them in to find the chakra signature and realized that it was one that he recognized. Uh-oh, this was it.

He opened the door with one eye open, that way if the other was getting nekkid he could close it really quickly and pray to God that he didn't come away with any unwanted mental images infused in his memory bank. He breathed a sigh when he saw that Sai was dressing instead of the opposite, at the moment he was pulling a shirt over his wet head.

It was unfair that he was here, that Tsunade had assigned him of all people to be their sitter…Naruto wasn't happy with him, and Sai wouldn't be happy with them. Especially since Naruto had let Sasuke into his home so willingly, only wanting to know why, but beyond that he was just glad that all his waiting had paid off. Oh no, Sai wouldn't be pleased; Naruto was delighted.

"Hey! Short stuff!" Sai zoned in for a hug. Naruto was stiff as a statue when the older wrapped his arms completely around him, and pressed his lips to his cheek. Naruto tried to wipe it off with the back of his hand. He couldn't keep himself from glaring. "That only rubs it in." The blonde made a face. Sai just laughed and released him. "Guess what? Tsunade said that I get to stay here with you for a while to keep my eyes on some kid with a record that you've taken in." Sai was beaming at the thought of a long-term stay in the boy's house, no matter the circumstances. "Isn't that great?!" A wide grin covered his face, one that went from ear to ear.

Naruto snorted, "No!" With just enough volume for the black haired boy to hear him loud and clear; Sai's smile all but disappeared at the scowl on that perfect face.

"Oh, baby, are you pissed that I missed Hajime's birthday. You know that I would've given everything to have been here." Lies; Sai was trying to be sincere, that was the worst of it. He had said the wrong thing or the right thing had he intended on adding fuel to the fire of Naruto's wrath.

Naruto fumed, "I am _**not**_ your baby!" The only thing that kept him from completely letting himself go and screaming at the man who stood before him was the fact that his daughter had just gotten to sleep and he didn't want to run the risk of waking her up, not when it usually took so long to get her to go to bed in the middle of a beautiful afternoon; she wanted to be up with the sun. "I don't belong to you!" He stabbed Sai in the chest, right where his heart was…literally, with his index finger.

"Well," Sai smirked, smoothing the spot on his chest where Naruto had poked him, "not yet."

"Not ever!" Naruto lashed out. His fist clenched in tight balls prepared to hit that pale cheek if he really felt it was necessary, and, boy, was he beginning to think it was. "I refused to belong to you!" He spat. Sai flinched away as if he had collided with the blonde boy's fist.

Sai sighed running a hand through still wet hair. "Do you really think that this is that time, Naruto?" The boy shrugged a small shoulder tick. Why not now? Like later would be any better, more than likely it would be worse. "Fine," the older boy snarled. He was slightly confused by the others sudden defensiveness. "Why don't you just give in already? I _love _you! Apparently much more then the man you endlessly wait for, the man who's not coming back! I would do anything for you!" Sai was tiered; he no longer wanted to repeat this argument. It always left him broken for days.

"Yeah?!" Naruto clenched his jaw, also sick of the fight. "Like lie? Like sacrifice my happiness for your own? Like break my heart, again, when you could've healed it all? But you didn't, you bastard!"

Sai was exasperated and on the verge of pulling his hair out. "What are you talking about?!" He was yelling now with no concern as to where Hajime was and whether or not she was asleep. He knew when her nap time was, he knew almost everything about them and their daily habits. He had been on the inside for so long. Naruto had believed in him…

"The note," his voice wavered. "That's what I'm talking about, damn you!"

Crestfallen, Sai took a step forward and attempted to cub Naruto's cheek. His heart broke into tiny fragmented pieces when the blonde slapped his hand away. "Don't touch me!" Tears welled in his blue eyes.

"What's going on?" A voice boomed that was unfamiliar to Sai. There was another raven in the cramped bathroom. The other looped his arms around Naruto and pulled him close glaring at Sai intimidating. What was incredible to Sai was that the blonde didn't resist, in fact he slumped over onto the new comer and buried his beautiful face in the raven's jacket. Sai wanted, had always wanted, to hold him like that. How was it that someone else got granted his wish?

They were almost exactly that same height. So Sai stood proud, puffed out his chest and snarled, "Who the hell are you?" He didn't miss Naruto's smile out of the corner of his eye…it was a little ray of sunshine peaking through the clouds. The other stuck out the hand that wasn't keeping his love steady.

"Uchiha Sasuke," Sai all but fell to bits and pieces there on the linoleum floor. Bitterly and stinging with hatred, the black haired boy took his outstretched hand and they shook with snarky smiles on their faces. "If you ever hurt _my _Naruto again; I'll kill you." Those eyes flashed red and he squeezed Sai's hand with the intentional showing of strength. Sai could feel his bones grinding together. Then he let go, the black haired boy knew he was no match; he had never been any sort of match compared to him. Naruto, the boy who should've just fallen into his arms, had been so very faithful. Who knew what the man had tapped while he was in the clutches of someone that evil.

Sai remembered his mission and smirked. "No problem, _sir_," he leered. But it was hardly a sign of respect. He had the upper hand; he could give Tsunade some false information, things Naruto couldn't vogue for. He could incriminate some evidence, falsify some photographs and make it appear like Sasuke was slapping his kid around.

"Don't," said Naruto. "Don't even think about it." Sai gave him an annoyed look; like a little kid with his hand caught in the cookie jar. "Don't say anything that I'll make you regret. Remember, it'll be your word against mine." Naruto's face was hard, but his words were soft. "I know you're not a liar, Sai…" just then the oldest felt like dropping to his knees and beg for Naruto's forgiveness. Considering what he had done to him, how he had lied to the blonde boy and wounded him so deeply. He hadn't stuck the knife in Naruto's heart; he had done nothing to pull it out either like a true friend would have.

Black eyes reflected his inner turmoil. He knew what he had done was wrong. He understood how he had put himself on a very short leash, and for what pay off? He had reached his goal. Naruto's sprit had been all the more shattered by his actions, but the boy had waited patiently by his window for the love of his life—of his whole existence—to come waltzing through the Konoha gate just to see him, if only one last time. Besides, Naruto had told him that all along, that he would always love Sasuke…no matter what. Sai had never had any hope. It was a pointless, selfish wound he had inflicted.

…Plus, the blonde had ended up finding out about it anyway.

"Do you want it?" Sai asked and smiled lightly at the small twinkle in those blue eyes, and as the younger twitched a smile onto those so very kissable lips. Maybe they could still be friends somehow. He would take any chance to stay somewhere in Naruto's heart, even if it wasn't exactly the place where he wanted to be. Staying by the blonde's side was all that mattered now. Considering what he had done, and why, he shouldn't be asking that much. Sasuke had done pretty harsh things too, to the blonde, but he hadn't done those things for his own personal gain. He wanted to just hug the boy with the same sort of affection the other raven was showing him now and not be refused. Sai knew how impossible his requests were, the wishes he wished though they were futile and would never be granted, no matter how many brownie points he earned. The black haired boy had only ever done more harm than good, and Sasuke, the god like man standing before him, had gotten to this angel before him.

Naruto bobbed his up and down as if it were pulled by a puppeteer. Did he want to see it? What kind of a question was that? The man whose arm was around his waist now, also waiting for his reaction, hadn't forsaken him. Of course, he wanted viable proof of that.

"Well, let me out of the bathroom, and I'll go to my apartment and get it." Sai scratched the back of his neck and then stepped up to the blonde. He couldn't stop the pang of jealousy that rippled through him and settled in his stomach as hatred when Sasuke pulled Naruto close to his side and the young boy didn't struggle at all to get away like he had always done with him. Quick hugs and small, petty signs of love were all that he was permitted; even that was regulated and controlled. He despised how he had become nothing special to the blonde, not even after all of this time.

He tried desperately not to let it affect him much since there was nothing more he could do about it; unless he wanted to get into more trouble.

Sai came even closer to him since Sasuke had pulled him father away, he took a tan hand in his own and pressed his lips to it, ignoring the predatorily growl that erupted from the raven. "I know it means nothing, but I'm sorry that I hurt you. That was never my intention." Then he darted out before Sasuke charged and killed him. Against his will he would go and reveal the small, stupid shred of paper that would mark the destruction of all the hope he had ever had if winning the blondes heart. He couldn't obtain something so beautiful when it already belonged to another.

It wasn't the first time the black haired boy felt like falling to his knees and weeping, but it was the first time his own heart felt so heavy and hard while thinking about doing so. He swallowed the lump in his throat and pressed on. Fists were clenched when he shut the door behind him, thus ending what had never begun.

The blonde stood in the bathroom leaning all of his weight on Sasuke, who held him and whispered sweet nothings in his ear in an attempt to calm him down some. He was hurt. Yes. He was still so infuriatingly angry. Yes. Did that give him the right to break someone else's heart? No. He hadn't stopped to even think about filling the black haired boy's shoes. If Sasuke was in love with someone else, how could he guaranty that he wouldn't turn around and do exactly the same thing if only to keep a small, dim flicker of hope for himself to move in on that wounded and hurting heart of his. He had no right to be as hateful as he had been, especially since he hadn't been nearly as angry with the raven when he had confronted each other, and Sasuke had left a lasting impression on the empty space in his chest. Much more then this buzz of slight aggression.

He was a hypocrite. He could've helped it even if his brain and heart kept trying to coax him into thinking that it was all okay, and really…it wasn't. It wasn't, and couldn't have ever been. If only Sai hadn't been in love with him, then he didn't think he would feel so bad about all the things he said. All the same he had wanted to hurt Sai, to cause him pain, to cut him as deeply as possible when he found out about the note; about the lies.

…And yet, the older had just backed down. That distant look in his eyes was the very same one that he had witnesses almost every single day when he had first met the text book boy all of those years ago. Part of him was deathly afraid of that because of his outburst he had made more of Sais progress take a turn for the worst and go backwards. That would be terrible, he had worked so hard, too hard to slowly but surely peal that shell away from him and get him to show actual emotions for it all to be for nothing. Naruto felt as though he had put all of that promise in the ground and with meaning to, too.

He didn't want to lose another good friend over something, anything no matter how serious the whole situation was to the blonde. Other than this recent fact Sai had been so very constant with him in every aspect. Hajime absolutely adored him, ten times over when he breathed his pictures to life for her. Naruto used to think that it had to be magic when he did that. Pure magic.

It still was.

Fearing for his life would have been better then fearing for a friendship that he had just broken all on his own; once upon a time he remembered telling Sai that the note wouldn't change anything. He had meant that he would always wait for Sasuke. The blonde boy had kept true to his word in the second part of that statement, but to the first…not so much. A sense came over him and he felt like a lying, cheating bastard. Twice over what he had accused the black haired boy of being.

Saying that the note, no matter what happened in that decollate apartment, wouldn't change anything was such a lie. A complete and total false statement because it had changed lots of things. Not finding any sort of goodbye had dwindled his hopes by a landslide. He had still waited, of course, but with much less faith then before. And if Sai had revealed it to him immediately he would have been thrilled. It would have mattered, and it mattered now. Because of that piece of paper he had just caused one of his best friends harm, he had hurt another person who tried to love him as best they could.

God, his heart stung.

At least he had these strong arms around him, to hold the parts of him that were falling apart together, and to keep him at the very least conscious and in the present. He wasn't having any of those ghastly flashbacks. The raven smelled pretty nice too, better than he had before he had taken a shower. His scent was musky and sexy, something distinctly him. Although despite the distraction his mind still wandered to that look in Sai's eyes when he realized who the arms surrounding him belonged to, and that he had _smiled _at the distraught expression he found there. It had been cruel and unnecessary.

"Is Hajime still asleep? I didn't wake her did I?" Naruto asked hesitantly as he burrowed his face into Sasuke's side. He expected to have more misery befall him because of one point in there he had been screaming at the top of his lungs, without any thought of awaking his sweet angel. She was hell to get to bed at this time of day. Right now, he was really dumpster diving.

Sasuke shook his head no and began to drag/carry the melancholy boy to the living room and out of the cramped bathroom where the younger had already spent too much time brooding and thinking over his previous actions. Brooding was the raven's spatiality; he couldn't very well have his dobe pass him up in that aspect. "She slept through the whole argument," he said lightening up the blondes shoulders a bit. "I would have come to your rescue sooner, but she didn't want to let go."

Naruto giggled openly at this, he loved the image of Sasuke trying to pry the young girl's arms from around his neck as it replayed itself over and over again in his head. "That's good; I would've felt worse if she had woken up." He stared sheepishly at his shoes.

The raven said nothing. He did not know what words would comfort him, not when he was on the verge of losing another friend all because of him. And he hated himself for it; without trying he was still uprooting the blondes friendships and disrupting the ebb and flow of his everyday life. His departure and the note had left the boy in shambles, he began contemplating the pros and cons if he hadn't wrote one at all. Though, it would have been more cowardly of him if he hadn't left anything and disappeared into the night without a trace. He pulled the blonde to the couch and sat with him there.

"Do you want the TV on?" Sasuke asked his extremely distraught dobe that rested restlessly at his side having to fiddle with something different every two seconds. The raven slung an arm over his shoulders and held him close. "Hm? Do you? While we wait?"

"No," Naruto bit his lip, and Ramen jumped into his lap. "There's probably nothing good on right now anyway." He ran his fingers through Ramen's candy colored fur absentmindedly. "What—how long is the note?" His legs created a steady tempo on the side of the couch. Ramen laid his head down and lapped at the ravens fingers; he avoided the dog and petted Naruto's face and hair instead.

Shrugging, the ravens said. "Not long," he remembered the thing clearly, and how pathetic he had felt because of it. "Four lines and eight words. Not long at all." He explained a cold hearted border line disgusted edge to his voice. Halve of his mind thought to run out now, catch Sai, take the note from him, and go somewhere secret to rewrite it. A beautiful, romantic, and long lyric that rhymed; that's what he'd turn it into, if only he could get a hold of it. It would be far more interesting and a smidge more of what his loved deserved. Naruto would know it wasn't authentic though, even if it did have all that lovey dovey mush squishing out of its sides. It would be uncharacteristic. Sasuke wasn't sure if he would even think something up that was like that.

Looking down at his dobe's angelic face, he came to the conclusion that no words, not even ones of love, could explain how he truly felt about the blonde. The concept of a note in general had been a stupid waste of his time, better than nothing, but practically useless since Naruto hadn't found it anyway.

"Sasuke?" Naruto said shyly, pushing Ramen off of him and laying his head in the ravens lap.

"Hm?" He grabbed a pillow and put it under his loves head to make him more comfortable, and things less awkward if something came up. Then, he raked his large hands through the blonde hair.

"Why do you think I didn't find the note the first time? I mean, I didn't exactly look for it when I woke up—I didn't know you were…_gone_ yet—but I should have noticed something. Shouldn't I have? …I think I should have…"

"Don't know. I left it on the bedside table. Maybe it got moved somehow." Sasuke guided his fingers over his loves face. Naruto's eyes slid closed and he sighed; his breath was hot and muggy on Sasuke's hands.

"Maybe. The window was open when I woke up." Naruto sighed again, and nuzzled into the ravens abdomen. "It shouldn't get me so excited since you're here now, but it does…and I-I don't know why." Sasuke said nothing, that vile piece of paper didn't get him excited like it did to Naruto who was buzzing in his lap. It had been a sign of weakness. He hadn't the guts to verbally explain anything to Naruto. To Sasuke that one shred of paper was a complete and total cop out; he could have done by the blonde better had be truly loved him. But he hadn't done anything better. That's what killed the raven within his heart that he couldn't love anyone more then he loved Naruto.

It was over and done now, though, no use brooding about it. Like Naruto had pointed out, he was here now. He could show his love to Naruto properly. He didn't need a note to do his bidding.

The blonde practically shot up and out of his lap when the front door rand sending chimes throughout the house. The raven didn't know why Naruto was so excited either. He was here now and that had to be all that mattered. Apparently, not when his love needed a note to prove that there was, in fact, a note and therefore solidifying that there was some truth to his story. It wasn't all that important. Sasuke still hated the coward inside of himself that had made him write it in the first place. To Naruto, for some reason, it was important so Sasuke continued to say nothing.

Upon entering the living room, Sai—their sitter for God knows how long—gave him an evil eye and tilted his head upward; a small, almost insignificant sign of disrespect. Sasuke didn't give him the time of day, only over exaggerating the motion of putting his arms around Naruto's waist when he came to sit back down. He was pleased when he got a stiffening, unsettling reaction out of Sai.

"So?" Naruto asked, jumping out of his skin. He attempted to play up the nonchalance, although he was failing miserably. "Where is it? You didn't lose it, right?" He leaned on the raven to his side, wringing his hands in his lap. Really to have proof of a goodbye, no matter the word count would have a huge impact on his heart. He had always known that Sasuke was going to come home; he just needed reassurance that he had, and always planned on, coming home for him.

And he could probably leave that silly notion go that Sasuke was going to leave him once more. If there was something that said that he hadn't wanted to go then, then that had to mean that he had no intentions of joining any other cults now and Naruto could start to let him in more. Into a permanent place into his home, and maybe—sooner than he had originally thought—back into his bed. This was just a step closer to trusting him by just his word, and his word alone. If he could manage to do that then he would be able to have faith that Sasuke wasn't going anywhere.

He didn't say any of this out loud though; Sai wouldn't want to be a part of that.

The black haired boy took a small scrap of wrinkled paper out of his pants pocket. He looked at it with so much contempt and so much loathing that the youngest in the room almost expected it to combust under the pressure and be lost in the flames. A clenched jaw and fist showed his reluctance to hand the thing over to whom it had originally belonged.

He outstretched it to Naruto who took a hold of it quickly, but Sai still had a grip on it; on his last hope of winning the blonde for his own. "Let go!" Naruto whispered and Sai jumped back as if Naruto had downright bit him. Blue eyes went worried and a bit wide when he thought back on what he had just said. He hadn't meant it like that, like Sai should let go of him…or maybe he had. He didn't know. All he knew was that this whole situation was weighing too heavily on him; he never wanted his and Sasuke relationship to cause anyone harm. It was supposed to be a joyous occasion, not a time wrought with agony. Not for someone who the blonde did care about very much; he wasn't in love with him, but he did love him like a brother or a very dear friend.

It hurt to see in plain sight the effects of abandonment in someone else…abandonment that he caused. His own heart sent a pang throughout his entire body at the thought that he was the source of that sheltered look harbored on Sai's face; the very same one that he used to hate when the older boy had showed up on his doorstep. Flickers of emotions occasionally broke through that mask; like a dog that drew back to lick its wounds.

The note suddenly weighed a million pounds in his hand, and soon it drew him away from his thoughts of Sai and how much pained he had inflicted on him over the years—enough pain to drive him to do something desperate.

This was it, the last remnants of a goodbye he had never known about until mere hours ago. His palms grew sweaty, but he wasn't able to open it all the way by himself, he held it to his face now and stared it down like it was his greatest enemy; one that he needed to be wary of. Sai's and Sasuke's eyes remained on his, both wondering where all that excitement ran off to. Sasuke had the audacity to squeeze him close to his side without ever trying to make the older jealous, but oh, how he had succeeded in doing just that.

Sai's gaze filtered down to his hands and he stared at them incredulously; they were just as empty as the rest of him. He looked up at Sasuke's hands, which were full. He began to burn with the flames of unshed tears while his throat closed up on him. It was such a shame…he was such a shame.

And to top it all off he didn't even feel like he had the privilege of sitting in another man's house; the house of his foe. So he swayed uneasily from foot to foot, refraining from shivering at the cold gusts of wind that passed straight through the holes in him. He was waiting…waiting for all hope to be lost…he waited for doom to crash over his head…thus the ultimate ending of all the things in his life that mattered. Death; when had the prospect of it become to relieving?

Surprisingly, or maybe not so surprisingly, Naruto turned and placed it in Sasuke's hand their fingers brushing together. "Read it to me." He said tenderly since he couldn't do it alone.

The blonde rested his head on Sasuke's shoulder, and placed his heart safely away in the raven's chest. He then stayed quiet and still until Sasuke began. Sai couldn't believe that he was being subjected to this; his love's love for another man. Cuddling and staring openly at each other as if nothing else existed; made the black haired boy sick.

Only with slight hesitation did Sasuke open the note and read it aloud. "Dearest Naruto. Wait for me. Love always-Sasuke." When finished he kissed the blondes watery blue eyes and held him.

Sai's breath was lost in his lungs when Naruto smiled, a real, true smile. It was like nothing he had ever laid eyes on before; he was a light that out shinned fucking cosmic anomalies. It was so bright…so beautiful…so…not his. That face, that smile, and that heart didn't belong to him. He had never laid any sort of claim on something…so, unreal and intangible. But, it should have been all his.

Sai would swear that he could faintly hear his heart shattering and splintering in his chest.

Naruto smiled now because everything in the raven's story lined up, he knew without a shadow of a doubt that Sasuke had kept to his word, and would probably do the same in the future.

"Thank you," the blonde boy that he had begged for so un-shamefully whispered, not to Sai, but to the man who wrote it. "Thank you."

"Momma!" Naruto bolted up and ran to his daughters cry leaving the two men at a standoff. Sasuke broke the silence.

"I understand that it wasn't your intention to hurt him," Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "And that's fine because he seems to have forgiven you. But, I think you still may not understand that he's _mine._"

An arrow straight through his heart.

--

I didn't like this chapter one bit. I felt as if I were repeating myself just to have the story progress and have the chapter be that much longer. It was bad. Please REVIEW and boost my self esteem and you'll probably get more than one chapter out of me this summer.

By the way, there were only two reviews last chapter. I was disappointed. I have received up to four reviews on each chapter up to this point. I thank those who did review, you caused this chapter to come out now instead of a month from now.


	20. It's Okay

I'm a loser. I'm well aware of this fact. I promised that I'd have this out in January. –Sighs— I had it written in that first week, but then AP English starting kicking my ass. Art class wanted projects. And me and my best friend starting fighting a lot, so all the times I was on the computer all my energy went into fighting with him. But I'm here now. I'll be here for awhile. I'm going to try and squeeze in another chapter either this month or the next month. No promises though. Don't worry; I haven't given up on this story. It will be finished. Just when? I have just about as much clue as you do.

This chapter, and probably the rest of this story is dedicated to _**Through Darkness and Light**_. I'm really sorry to you especially that this is so late. :/

---

Sasuke was adjusting, as well as any seventeen year old boy could to being a father and the sole provider of a three year old little girl and the love of his life.

Hajime was beautiful, this was established, but sometimes she had not so beautiful moments. With Sasuke and Naruto's genes combined she had a hard head and the will of any angry God. She knew how to bite with her words, but more often than not lashed out with her fists when she didn't get what she wanted. At naptime she'd purposely get dirty so that she could spend naptime in the tub instead of in bed; she didn't even really like sleeping at night. She watched T.V. a lot, and never turned off the television. Never turned down the sound, and thought it was okay to get up out of bed at two in the morning to watch her movies, full blast.

The raven more than once had to bring a paddle to her behind to teach her a lesson about what to do and what not to do. Sasuke had become the man of the house and was the enforcement behind every threat of punishment. Even though both parents meant what they said, in was usually Sasuke's hand at the paddle since sometimes, Naruto's heart was to tender for it. He had jumped right into the role of father with no qualms and other disagreements. The raven had given up something's, only to gain more then he could have ever imagined.

Not that it wasn't hard for him adjusting to life with a child and Naruto, and being responsible should anything happen to either. Not that it wasn't difficult when Sai hardly allowed Sasuke to touch Naruto. Sai made him a stranger in his own home. He scrutinized him when he played with Hajime and always stared when he trained, because even though he was a dad he was a ninja too. He had to be ready for the day when they would call him back.

It was comfortable life since they were living off of Sasuke's inheritance money; the only uncomfortable aspect of it was having an unwanted house guest. Who was still sulking about not getting what he wanted, even though it was something Sai knew he couldn't ever have. This life was still the best for them. And for the most part; they were happy.

--

"Hey, Sasuke?" Naruto yelled from his place in the kitchen making a lazy breakfast-1- of cereal and some strawberries that he was cutting over the sink.

The raven got up from the couch where he was watching where he had been watching Hajime watch The Lion King—it wasn't very eventful, since he had seen the movie over and over again—and went into the kitchen where his love stood in a cute pair of shorts and a super long tee. Sasuke came up behind him and wrapped his arms around the boy, relishing in the squeal of surprise as he kissed the boys neck.

"Yes." The older purred, resting his chin on the younger's shoulder. It was always good to have Naruto physically in his arms, where he could just feel their heartbeats come together there, with Naruto close, he was relaxed, he was happy, and he was home.

Naruto felt close to the same way, when he was right up against Sasuke and their bodies matched up like puzzle pieces, it all fit. A smile found its way to his lips and he was for from complaining.

The blonde sighed contently and then he said. "I was wondering if you could put together the tricycle Hajime got for her birthday." Naruto would have done it himself, except he was already looking forward to a day filled with cleaning house, vacuuming, and grocery shopping. The blonde's mind mentally blecked, but that didn't mean that it didn't have to get done. At least that what he told himself every time the house had to be kept up.

Sasuke smirked into the slender collar bone. "I'll do it." Naruto, with a smile, made to turn around and say thank you but a pair of strong arms held his fast. "For a kiss."

Biting his lip, trying to hide his grin Naruto turned despite the arms that had him so tightly. Sasuke moved his hands to cup the dobe's face. There was warmth in Sasuke's black eyes that was only meant for Naruto, there was all of his love for the boy, right in front of him where he could see it in his favorite place to look. Naruto pushed up on his tippy toes, and pressed his lips to Sasuke's. There was a fire there, which spread in a shiver to the crown in his head and the backs of his cheeks. Tingling, as if aflame.

When Sasuke was allowed to be close to Naruto through not only emotional actions but the physical he was sent to an entirely different place.

They broke apart at the sound of Sai scuffling into the living room, and greeting Hajime with a yawn and a good morning, Naruto had a fresh blush on his cheeks, Sasuke traced it with the pad of his thumb. He whispered, "I love you," as soft as he could.

Naruto re-bit his lip, "I love you too." Sasuke pecked his lips quietly, glad that Naruto had opened up to the idea of kidding, even if it was the simple touching of lips, it was enough to make him happy to get to share that with the boy. After, regretfully, breaking away he took the bowls of cereal to cover his tracks and placed them on the table. The blonde followed close behind with the strawberries, an overjoyed expression on his cheeks completely giving away that their previous actions weren't so innocent.

Sai noticed, as any person capable of thought would have, but he shoes not to say anything. What was there to say? Sasuke smirked at him coldly. Sai stared back a certain distress in his eyes.

Sasuke pitied him as well as Sasuke could pity people for not getting what Sasuke, himself, had obtained. And most of the time, that was not at all. However, Naruto was a prize, a loud sometimes annoying dobe of a prize, but he was the raven's prize. Sasuke probably would have felt close to the same way had Naruto chosen Sai instead of him. Sai's shoes did not fit very well, and Sasuke didn't like to put himself in them for they delved him into the emotional dependences of humans. Though even in his own shoes, he was seeing how emotional he really was, since Naruto brought his heart to a roar and then a disembodied quiet. And setting himself in that position where Naruto didn't belong to him in every way hurt more than Sasuke could have before dreamed.

However, that didn't change anything. Sasuke still _hated_ Sai. He was gotten to spend the last four years with Sasuke's Naruto and Sasuke's children. It only infuriated the raven that he couldn't have been here. Sai was the ever present reminder of that.

Sitting in his usual chair, with Naruto at the other end of the table, Hajime to his right and Sai to his left, Sasuke began eating his breakfast.

They ate their cereal in silence, all except for Hajime who rattled on endlessly about her starting school soon. A certain pride swelled up in Sasuke. Only exceptional children began life at the academy at the age of three; it meant that she was special. And the raven knew that Tsunade was not one to play favorites. Hajime was going to the academy based on her skill and nothing else.

Sasuke would have to train with her, to get her prepared for the chuning exams. He didn't know how soon they would want to put her into that. He gave Naruto a sideways glance, glad the boy was looking down, or he didn't know how soon Naruto would let her be put into that. He had heard that mothers were usually over protective. Had his been alive at the time he was sure that she would have said something about him going.

Maybe the trio could go in as a family, assuming that Naruto hadn't already re-taken and passed the exams, even then Sasuke could apply and go in with her. He would have to ask Naruto later, if by some stroke of luck he managed to get the boy alone. This morning had been a miracle, and it was probably eating Sai up inside. A fact that made Sasuke very pleased with himself.

He knew though that sooner or later he would have to think more carefully of ways to get Naruto all by himself, trickery, Sasuke wasn't stupid he knew that Sai had to be thinking near to the same thing. If the blonde had chosen Sai over Sasuke he wouldn't have been able to let go wither, not completely, not really. He could say that he had, he could lie. But would he really be able to let go? No. Not if he loved Naruto as much as he did now, or even less then he did now. Not unless he found someone he loved more, which for him he was sure was impossible…but for Sai…

An interesting thought it was. Maybe that could be his trick. Amongst other things, but if Sai had another then Naruto would be free to be alone with Sasuke and Naruto probably would feel as guilty as he did now. Sasuke could tell. Naruto didn't want to hurt anyone, especially not those he loved, he knew by the way he looked at Sai, his big heart bleeding through, and the change in emotion when he looked to Hajime, and then different again when his eyes turned to Sasuke's face.

Smiles were exchanged, while eyes met and greeted with long looks of love.

Sai cleared his throat, and then slurped his cereal loudly to distract them from each other. Hajime took this action in immediately and copied him, a smile adorning her face. Naruto said nothing, but Sasuke automatically corrected her manners, for they were important to have.

They weren't the same, Sasuke hoped that it wouldn't be something that divided them, or confused their child. He had to try to make sure; with everything in his power that he did nothing to disrupt the flow of their relationship, considering its wobbly start. Sasuke knew that he had a lot in his power, but enough not to boil over? Enough when it came to Naruto? He wanted to say yes…

"So, Naruto." Sai said, getting Sasuke out of his own head. Naruto looked over to him, his cheek fool of food, and said yeah without swallowing. "You need help with anything today?"

The blonde went back to his cereal and slowly shook his head. "No. Me and Sasuke got everything under control." Sai only clenched his mouth tighter then his spoon.

"Oh."The black haired man spoke up finally, and Sasuke watched with a sense of superiority as Sai forced himself to return to his meal, his eyes remaining downcast. Sai had been replaced, and Sasuke was a bit smug to be the one to replace him. To take over all of his duties and responsibilities, and also the wooing of Naruto's already wooed heart. Although, again, there was that small pang of pity, but all Sai's faults were his own. He knew that someday Sasuke would come back, especially by the note that he stole.

He knew. And still he got so involved.

Black eyes caught in a glare. Sai sat back and had a smile, his cereal finished. "Naruto, what are you doing today?" The boy addressed pulled away from wiping Hajime's chin, he gave Sai a semi-confused look before returning to his place and answering.

"Just some laundry and house cleaning, and maybe some grocery shopping, but that's it." He shrugged and got up, taking his and Hajime's bowls to the kitchen.

A plan seeded itself in Sasuke's brain, and grew boldly into an idea. It was stupid, and small. But something insignificant enough that it might have worked. Casually he forked some strawberries and took a gulp of his milk, he smiled at Sai his eyes clear of any mischief; Sasuke was a very good actor. In a peace keeper voice that was completely out of character he said. "Why don't you go do the grocery shopping?" Cool, like it was nothing. Sasuke chewed his strawberries.

Sai furrowed his brow, obviously unsure of his intention, but wondering what Sasuke wanted by letting Sai go out and help out the family. Naruto appeared in the doorway, Hajime peeking out from behind his leg. "Yeah," an enthusiastic grin taking over his face. "That would really help me out." Naruto gave him a soft look, a twinkle in his eye. A fit of jealousy came over Sasuke, which Sai undeniably noticed and smugness was cast his way. With one look Sai would do it, he would do it because Naruto asked him to.

"Yeah. Okay I'll do the shopping." Sai had a goofy smile, Sasuke a smirk, and Naruto a wide grin. Hajime bounded out with a face that matched her mothers.

"I want to go." She howled. This is where Sasuke smirk shrunk and completely fell off and clanked to the corner. He wanted Hajime to stay with him; he wanted to know his daughter to recognize her not just by her face but by her heart. He wanted to see as she did and although he loved everything about her he wanted to fully understand the vastness of that statement. He needed to know all he could enjoy about her personality, all he could lift up, and all he could show off because she was his daughter and she could do so much. He knew she could. He just didn't know what.

It made him a bit angry, and also discouraged. That fact, amongst others reminded him about how much he had missed. His jaw tightened at the memories he didn't have and the memories that Sai did.

Sasuke wasn't stupid though, he knew that if he made Hajime stay Sai would look twice at the situation and realize Sasuke's underlying con. That the raven would be home alone with Naruto, and he had hoped Hajime, but that wasn't going to happen. Sai would think that Sasuke would try something any second on Naruto, but Sasuke didn't know, he didn't _understand,_ why everything he did obviously had to be a ploy to re-bed Naruto. No. Maybe a little, he thought about it, **okay**. If it did happen he wasn't going to object, of course not, but he wasn't going to make that large of a move and for what? To ruin everything he was trying to build up. When and if Naruto was ready to have sex again, Sasuke would let the boy come to him, but he wasn't clinging to that. It wasn't what he wanted.

He _wanted _a _relationship_ with Naruto, and as hard as it may be to believe that Sasuke fucking Uchiha wanted to have a conversation and love his dobe instead of just fuck him. It was a pinnacle of wonderment and disbelief apparently, but it was true.

Honestly his only intent was to get Naruto alone, and, yes, he was after one thing. To be alone with Naruto, that was the point. To have the boy all to himself. To hold him, to talk to him, to kiss him without any wandering eyes that would misjudge him without even seeing why Sasuke did what he did, Sai had a grudge and it festered in Naruto's and Sasuke's relationship. All this trickery was annoying, Sasuke wanted to be able to just kiss the snot out of Naruto whenever he damn well felt like it.

And since things happened the way that they did making their chance at a relationship…easier because they shared blood, but also harder because they hardly had time to re-learn everything about the other. They couldn't sit down and be and know each other.

That was why he wanted to be alone with Naruto to get their relationship to the emotional level that he wanted it to be at, even before they delved deeper into the physical. And if he had to trick Sai out of the house, he would, and he most certainly could. It wasn't that hard, not with a smile from Naruto. Then Sai would run away from this house, if only Naruto paid him some attention.

Sai scooped up Hajime, and she let him being very familiar with him. She allowed herself to be lifted into his arms. Hajime was the one he would really have to win over, Naruto he had to work with, but Hajime…Hajime hardly had any idea who he was. Besides pictures, and Naruto's stories, but Hajime wasn't really aware that it was Sasuke who had forged with Naruto to create her and her brother. For all she knew, Sai had been around longer, and loved her, thus she loved him as her father. It frustrated Sasuke that he didn't have hardly any parental right to her, and that she would never know how much it hurt him.

Or maybe she would, by the way the mirror of his own eyes looked up to him, and the joy on her face easily disappeared; like she felt how he was feeling. She somehow knew, even though (or possibly because) she was three years old; she had a big heart that could hold the weight of the world's problems or completely discard them. Sasuke forced up a smile, it was almost as hard as forcing himself to vomit; a small smile that only she would notice from Sai's lap, since the black haired man and Naruto were making a list of things that they needed. Hajime was not convinced. It made him slightly proud to know that she has inherited his ability to not be so easily fooled. He tried to be more convincing to let her know that it was okay. Sai was a large part of her life, and as much as he wanted to rip Sai from her life. He couldn't, Sai was her friend, and at one point, her father—no matter how much that pained him—so in one form of another he would have to tolerate him being around even after the man was called off duty.

Hajime wasn't buying what other people would have bought without any question; Sasuke was, after all, a wonderful pretender. She furrowed her brows and gave him several looks over. Uchiha's didn't falter.

His daughter saw right through his mask; a trait she must have inherited from Naruto.

Dropping from Sai's lap, disrupting the flow of conversation between him and Naruto, she slid to the floor and padded over to Sasuke, eyes continuously searching his face, and held out her arms to be lifted into his arms; her father's arms. Sasuke stood and Hajime eye's got wide with sadness, but the raven haired man scooped her up to still any tears. Kissing her cheek, he whispered so only she could hear. "I love you." Hajime smiled, and curled herself round him.

Black eye's crossed with blue; and, oh, the happy expression he found there as he watched Sasuke and Hajime interact as father and daughter. And then Sai's eyes; the angry grimace and the clenching of teeth and empty hands. Sasuke put an arm around his daughter possessively, Sai's nostrils flared.

"We'll be in the living room." Sasuke stated, moving in that direction. All Naruto could do was say okay, and nod in a fit of joy (even though it wasn't the first time they had been together, but each time, it made him so grateful.) Though, Sasuke doubled back, purely because he wanted to—some to irk Sai—he missed Naruto's cheek and touched his hand softly before continuing into the living room. He turned on her favorite show, and she fiddled and talked about everything.

All Naruto could do was stare after them, until… "So, you want six packages of ramen?" Sai said, breaking the blondes gaze. The younger shook his head.

"No. I want ten." He and Hajime ate ramen like maniacs, so the needed to stock up on it. He had a couple of boxes left but he was sure that those would be gone in a minimum at the end of the day. However, his mind wasn't really on the list of food, and Sai knew it.

Sai stood. He wanted, no needed, to get out of there, of this environment. Naruto had at least looked at him before Sasuke had returned. Hajime had no other father, and he took care of them. He assumed the father role in the house even if it wasn't rightfully his to assume. Naruto only had eyes for Sasuke, only one heart, and it belonged to that dammed man. And Hajime, Hajime shared blood with him. He was closer to her then Sai could ever be. Now, he would be an uncle at best. Awaited by no one. Missed by only his cat, and only so the stupid meowing machine would get fed.

The image alone made him unexpectedly cringe , and he was glad he was given a way get out. And away he got, heading toward the front door.

"The list." Sasuke called after him. "Don't forget it." Sai scowled, and trekked back into the dining room to grab the list, violently, off on the table. "And this too. Don't forget this." Sai returned to look at what he was mentioning. Sasuke was pointing to his daughter.

Hajime looked up, and with a nod of approval she was searching for. She quickly glomped her father and bounded off of him, past her mother—who was standing in the arch way—and took a hold of Sai's hand. Rearing and ready to go.

Sai looked at the man who just watched the television and pretending like what he had done was only an insignificant matter. Hajime was his daughter, and he was letting her and Sai spend time alone together, even when he himself scarcely and anytime with her because of Sai. Sai wouldn't return the favor, but he was positive Sasuke was well aware.

--

Sasuke watched him eave with his daughter in tow, her happily chattering on abut swing sets and pocky. He exhaled when they were gone, he know it was a half nice half mean thing he had done, though he wished it had been all mean. That his daughter was still tucked close to him. So they could spend their day together like they had the first day he had come home. Alone together. However, she had wanted to go, and Sasuke could let her go.

A weight pressed itself at his side, a weight that was intently recognized by the mop of messy blonde spikes, and the familiar arms that wrapped themselves around hum waist and clasped their tightly. Sasuke drew the boy into is lap, kissing the top of his head. Finally, finally. It had been to long since he had held the boy, even if he had just gotten a chance either today. Much too long.

"Thank you." Naruto whispered into the folds of Sasuke's shirt. The blonde breath in. A week; it had been a week of this real Sasuke, sometimes, Naruto still couldn't believe that it had actually happened.

Sasuke was slightly thrown off even though he knew that Naruto didn't fully understand the implications of what he had done; Naruto's brain worked in a different pattern, it still managed to allude Sasuke to the thought process going on in there. "Why?" he asked, knowing that it was possibly the only way he would know. "Why thank me?" If anything, Sasuke thought that the blonde would have caught on, and although happy a little angry too.

"You made him feel useful. And help around the house and stuff. I know that makes him feel…better…"

Sasuke smirked, a chuckle to his tone. Of course, of course. Naruto could only see the innocents in Sasuke, not the trickery, although it had been surprisingly easy. "Dobe," he said simply.

The blonde drew back, a devilishly cute angry pout on his so kissable lips. He punched Sasuke in the arm. "Teme." Sasuke laughed, another punch. "Why am I a dobe when all I said was thank you? Why are you laughing? This isn't funny, you asshole." Naruto sat back expectantly waiting for an answer, but was met with another question.

"Do you really not see why I did what I did?" And by the puzzled expression missing in the boys features Sasuke could clearly depict that the answer was no.

"Why?" The blonde crossed his arms and head.

Sasuke placed his hands on his loves face, tracing the whisker marks, and then pressing his lips to them. "We're alone." Naruto stiffened with fear.

"Even you." Sasuke said, though he hadn't meant to. Naruto knew what that meant. Even Naruto thought that all Sasuke wanted to do was pound him, to fuck him. Even Naruto, the love of his life was deathly afraid of that when he didn't need to be. Even him. How long? How long would it take to prove himself, to prove that that's not what he wanted? He was ashamed when he realized that he couldn't, that when they were alone Naruto could be to assuming to his actions to even let Sasuke touch him without the fear, to talk with him without thinking it would lead to the bedroom, to not open his eyes to the loved behind the plot to get him alone. To have the dobe all to himself.

Sasuke was fooling himself. But he wouldn't give up; couldn't.

With a deep breath, and a gently pushed Naruto off of him. He stood, Naruto had guilt written all over his face. "Sasuke," he said.

The man stopped and turned, good at hiding the hurt. Naruto's mouth hung open, but he struggled with the words; the right words. The magic ones that could make everything better between them. Sasuke wasn't going to wait for them, he couldn't right in this moment. He would be back later to hear them, even though Naruto wouldn't be able to find them. That was Sasuke's fault, it had been his fault for having sex with him, always would be. "The tricycles in the garage, yes?"

Naruto faltered. "Yeah…" And the raven haired man slipped into the garage, a painful tenseness to his back. The only part of him the blonde could see, though he longed to look at his face.

What could he do but house work? So that's what he did. Starting with the laundry, since it would be the thing to take the longest to do. And while he was doing all of the work he could think this over. His own insecurities. He felt honored that Sasuke wanted to spend time alone with him, but he wasn't just after one thing and Naruto had to stop treating him like he was. It must have hurt him, even though the man didn't feel so inclined to say so Naruto knew that Sasuke felt bad about that. Though he didn't need to be. Naruto just need to let him know.

God…he really was a dobe. He had to get upset about it because it was true, which made it worse.

Getting up off of the couch, leaving his self-pity behind, he gathered up the laundry, and got to work.

--

His actions. Oh God, his actions had made Naruto feel hurt. The blonde liked to act tough but the boy was way too emotional for his own good. He was livid with himself about it, but Sasuke could think about the situation rationally. He didn't deserve to be treated like a good guy-it wasn't a basic human right. He had forced himself on Naruto. He was being an idiot.

Still, his fury boiled within his blood. Even when they were alone Sasuke couldn't be alone with Naruto because of the boy's awareness. The blonde's fear of him. Thus he was taking his anger out on the tricycle that was purple and sparkly and much to happy for his mood.

Working hard wasn't enough to distil this feeling, to kill and bury this loneliness. Since him and Naruto were apart. It had been half an hour and it proved to be too much. However, they had had a…what? An emotional standoff? It wasn't a fight, a lot more yelling would have been involved. He almost wished it was a fight, he knew how to handle those with the blonde. He couldn't just do nothing though, not when it came to Naruto.

--

Sasuke got up without a clear plan, and without any sense of direction. Then went to Naruto. The boy was bent over his first load of laundry, and putting the second load of wet cloths into the dryer whilst giving Sasuke a full view of his heart shaped behind. Sasuke tried to look away, but his eyes wouldn't have it; this wouldn't help his case if he was caught staring. Naruto straightened up. His face in a confused twist, his eyebrows slightly down his mouth flatter than usual and all the emotions he felt from his heart we're on his face. And Sasuke could easily pick up on the lasting effects of all his own frustration.

Even in such a morbid situation he honestly realized the complexity of their bond. What Sasuke felt Naruto felt, maybe even more intensely then the raven did. Naruto's emotions ran through him as well. And then other times, for no reason at all, they couldn't understand each other.

Leaning into the door frame, the raven just watched his love work until the next load was in place. Naruto look the basket full of clean cloths.

Turned.

And jumped, making a small noise of surprise. He hadn't expected Sasuke to be there. "Hello."Sasuke said, a wolfish snigger there.

Naruto's eyes cast down, he gripped the basket. "Hi."

Sasuke came over and took the basket from his love, though he really wanted to take Naruto into his arms. He went into the living room, Naruto trailing him, and sat down placing the basket by his feet. The blonde sat close, his hands at the end of his shirt, his back stiff with decisions to be made. An uncomfortable hammer to his heart.

"I'm sorry." He said finally. "Sasuke. I'm sorry that I never told you that…" He paused. "It's okay."

"I know that, dobe."

Naruto let out a strong stream of breath. "No you don't. You don't know everything Sasuke. Especially if we look back to an hour ago when you got upset." Sasuke opened his mouth to speak, Naruto cut him off. "I know you were upset Sasuke, don't say that you weren't, or that I'm just a dobe." The blonde sat back, shaking his head, he ran his hand through his hair. Sasuke sat back with him, and took his hand. Naruto smiled. "It's okay that you had sex with me." Naruto couldn't look at him. Though it was all Sasuke could do; his chest lifting. "I mean, no so okay that I can just jump into bed now. But you gave me Hajime and Sasuke Jr. and without them…" Sasuke couldn't help himself, like so many other times, he grabbed him and pulled him close. Them facing each other, Naruto straddling Sasuke lap, his hands on the broad chest in front of him; so different from three years ago. "Now. It's different somehow. I guess it's because I'm afraid."

"Of what?" Sasuke said in a whisper. He had to know, and anything above a whisper would have Naruto blush and smile and say never mind, and Sasuke wouldn't be able to coax the answer out of him.

Naruto met his gaze, and took Sasuke's face into his hands. "That I'll wake up without you."

As an instant reaction Sasuke held the blonde a bit closer than before. "You'll never have to wake up without me again. You hear me?" Sasuke could only kiss his head, and stroke his back in silent promises that he loved him, and he couldn't leave him. Their hands intertwined. Naruto nodded as words wouldn't come to him. It was good to hear it. It made him happy.

Sasuke's head came up for the first time. "It's really clean in here." He said out of shock, he didn't know that Naruto could make a house look so good, even if because they had a three year old it would be messy the moment that she got home, only needing to be cleaned again.

"Well." Naruto laughed. "I had a lot to get off of my mind." Sasuke joined in his laughter, though the situation had not previously been funny. Then all he could do was kiss him, and so he did. When they pulled apart there was still something unresolved in Naruto's eyes. "Naruto." Naruto 'hm'ed. "How're you feeling?"

The blonde was rather surprised by the question. "I'm just angry with myself." He answer honestly. "I wish I could give myself up so easily to you again. But I can't…I don't know why now."

"Naruto." Sasuke leaned forward and mapped out his face with his lips like he had all of those years ago. "It doesn't matter. It doesn't." Sasuke had never said something so romantic in his life, and didn't know where the words came from, but then he said. "We don't have to have sex to make love."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

--

Well. There. I'm REALLY sorry. Truly.

I need help though…what should they fight about? Since all I can do is fluff and drama. :/

Thank you again to **Through Darkness and Light. **You really helped me out. ^_^


End file.
